So if you don't want to be tired and thirsty and sorry, go here and leave your comment.
Monday, December 28
So if you don't want to be tired and thirsty and sorry, go here and leave your comment.
Friday, December 25
Fast forward 12 hours later and here I am, almost 9 pm. The kids DID wake up right around 9 minutes in and the peace and quiet was gone gone gone. Oh and those delish cinnamon buns? I put them in and then we started unwrapping and I didn't check them and they burnt. I was really quite bummed. Then it was off to my cousin's for a great family day and now we are home. I'm tired but content, everything is unwrapped and it looks like a toy store blew up and we have trash piling up. Cardboard boxes and wires and ties, plastic everywhere. WHY do toys come packaged as if they will make a great escape if not fastened in by 43 pieces of wire? Why?
Ahhhh, big sigh. Merry Christmas everyone, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!
Monday, December 21
Then Summer came and he achieved his Yellow Belt.
Then he went for his Yellow Stripe.
Just this last Friday night, his achieved his Green. This was an exceptionally difficult test for all the kids (and adults), with the entire test board sitting for it and quite a bit of pressure. But they all did wonderful, although I spent the almost entire 2 1/2 hours sitting on my hands, with my feet icy cold with fear and feeling very, very nervous (you would have thought it was me out there attempting forms and snap front jump kicks).
Five belts in and he has learned so much and grown up so much and stuck with it, and we are truly proud.
Also, in case you missed it, look below or click here to see the details for my first ever contest. Don't forget to leave a comment telling me your favorite Holiday song for your chance to win a Dunkin Donuts card.
Friday, December 18
On another note, it is time for Napkin's first ever contest. I tried to think up a clever and extraordinary way to pick a winner, but my brain is tired from Christmas and Holiday paraphanalia so I will have to keep it simple. Leave a comment on this post telling me what your most favorite Holiday song is and I will randomly at random on a random day at a random time pick a winner out of a random hat. In case you were wondering, the kids and my favorite song of the moment is "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas." I'll give everyone about a week to leave their comment, since I am pretty sure that checking on my blog is not on everyone's daily checklist of things to get done!
Tuesday, December 15
Monday, December 14
Thursday, December 3
So however you begin your Holiday Season, I am right now wishing it to be merry and warm and bright. You really do have to spend the whole month celebrating, because 1 day? Nope, not nearly enough time to get it all in.
Monday, November 30
Thursday, November 26
Tuesday, November 24
But that is all far in the past now, and she is 5. She had a fun gymnastics party on Saturday to celebrate, with 12 kids. Then we went out to dinner with my sister & brother in law and their kids. Abbey and her cousin Shannon are only 7 days apart (Shannon being 7 days older which already she doesn't let Abbey forget) and they are best friends. I must say that its nice to have a 7 and a 5 year old. I feel like those ages are completely manageable. Well, most days. Some days. She is so five already though, so grown up. She always had been. Jack asked if that meant she would start kindergarten on Monday. Oh, I wish!
We gave her the Dora Links doll for her birthday, the new "teenage" Dora version for the 5 and older set. She is great, she hooks up to the computer and Abbey can navigate this whole online Dora world and solve mysteries, play games. And she can change her doll Dora too, along with the one on the screen. Make her eyes change color, change the color of her jewelry. And the doll talks. Its a little unnerving because you don't know exactly when she is going to talk. She's just a lifeless doll and then all of a sudden, "Hola!" she says to you. She scared the crap out of me Sunday night while I was spending HOURS downloading the content onto the computer. This is my only complaint about the Dora Links doll. It took FOREVER for the stuff to load onto the computer. I tried Sunday morning and it was taking so long that I thought it was malfunctioning, so I un-installed the program and started again. Then we had to leave to go to my parents for dinner so I stopped it again. Sunday night after the kids went to bed I told Dennis "I'm loading this bitch tonight if its the last thing I do!" and it took over 2 hours to get all installed. 2 hours!! Parents need to know this for Christmas. If they want their darling daughters to wake up Christmas morning, open Dora and start playing right away they need to install her well in advance.
There she is, my little pip. Happy with Dora. Not really sure what "pip" means but I think it's British and I am quite confident that it fits Abigail to a tee.
So I have a 7 and a 5 year old. How cool it that?
Thursday, November 19
4. Non-Organic Potatoes. Pretty sure this counts that flaky kind that comes in a box or a pouch.
Wednesday, November 11
Friday, November 6
Oh well, I can't worry about this right now, because as you know we are very busy.
Wednesday, October 28
Wednesday, October 21
"Mom, can we tie sheets onto ourselves and jump off the roof" they might be asking, while I peruse Facebook, talk on the phone, balance the checkbook and check the e-mail all at the same time. "Uh huh, OK, sure." I'll answer. "Mom, can we build a sparkly helium balloon and take off in it across the town?" they'll ask and I'll probably answer "uh, huh, just a minute" while I unload the dishwasher, fold laundry and start dinner. One of these days I'm going to get in trouble, if I don't find my damn listening ears.
I can hear it now. "Mom, can we take the car and joyride around town driving way too fast picking up all our friends?"
No, then again, I think THAT is one request I'll most definitely hear.
Monday, October 19
What? You've never heard of it? Well, I assure you that it is a most fancy and prestigious award in the blogging community, and actually, the blogging world. Yes, I said the whole WORLD! My good bloggy friend Lindy over at Future Blackmail bestowed it upon me, with some incredibly complicated rules that I could not follow and/or understand, so I am simply going to post it here so that you can revel in my award-receiving-ness. Also, you should go check out Lindy's blog. Although we have never met in person, she is an extremely talented writer and if we were to live closer to each other I'm sure we would hang out, even though I like Dunkin Donuts Coffee and she is a Starbucks ADDICT. Really, I think she might need a 12-step program. Despite of this obvious difference, our joint love of all things neat and tidy, as well as a compulsive fridge magnet organization disorder, would seal our bond.
Sunday, October 18
Thursday, October 8
Wednesday, October 7
Sunday, October 4
Thursday, October 1
Wednesday, September 30
Monday, September 21
Wednesday, September 16
I think that Dennis will take losing him the hardest, since Max was primarily "his" dog. When we married almost 10 years ago Max was already a 2 year old, having spent his nights sleeping next to Dennis in a big bed with his head on the adjoining pillow. In comes me and swiftly puts an end to that ridiculousness. So he was delegated to the end of the bed, and then kids came along and after a while he reluctantly gave up trying to get comfortable with so many in the bed and moved to the floor. I used to joke that once the kids were born I thought he needed doggie prozac, since at times he seemed depressed that he had to share his Dennis with us. But he learned to adjust, and I believe he had a good life with us. He actually was quite lucky. Once when he was about 4 or so we were at my parents house for some sort of get together and had brought him along. We put him in my brother's room on the second floor and shut the door, and after a little while someone came to the door. "Should I let Max in" they asked. "What?" we said. "Max isn't outside, he's in Matt's room upstairs." But sure enough, there was Max standing outside, tail wagging, tounge panting. When we went upstairs to check the door was still closed. Going inside we realized that the window (which was at the same level as the bed he was laying on) was opened. We think he probably saw a squirell in the tree outside and jumped. He must have come down through the tree branches to break his fall, because he was FINE. Not hurt at all. Later on my poor grandmother admitted that she saw the dog go by through the window, but thought that perhaps she was having some sort of hallucination and didn't want to tell anyone!
So goodbye good boy. We are going to miss you. 12 years, 2 months and 2 days. Quite a nice long life for a dog. Yes indeed.
Monday, September 14
So why such does he have such feelings of being disliked by me? Well, to put it simply, his sister is just generally better behaved than him. I'm not sure if this is true for all girls, or if it's just my kids. For example (and this is just 1 example of which there are dozens just like it), last Wednesday night after soccer practice, I let them have about 20 minutes in the playground. I warned them both before and during and over and over again that if they did not leave when I said it was time they would lose t.v. and computer privileges for the rest of that night (which after practice and a shower boils down to about 30 minutes). Although he is getting better, slightly better, Jack still has a tendency of, how shall I put it, not handling activities ending well. When he was younger the end of a play date was treated as if his entire world was crashing down. I've had to drag him kicking and screaming out of friends houses, movie theaters, toy stores, libraries, and of course the biggest culprit of them all, playgrounds. But he's 7 now. It should be getting better, right? Well it's not! This particular night I had to drag him, yes readers, DRAG this not very tiny 7 year old by his arm through the stones on the ground all the way out of the gate. On the other hand, Abbey walked out on her own after I said it was time to go. So do you know what happened? Well, he lost privileges and his sister didn't. This resulted in the never ending accusations that I love Abbey more, while I hate him and am always yelling at him. How can I not YELL at him when he doesn't listen to me? Should I try the "whispering" technique when you lower your voice and your kids miraculously quiet down to hear you? Well I've tried that too and it doesn't work! And how can I not give his sister praise when she does listen to me? Believe you me, he gets plenty praise when he listens too, probably more praise than I give Abbey because I sense he needs it more, but that is not what he focuses on. Nope, all he sees is that he gets in trouble while Abbey does not. What to do readers? What to do?
I suppose it doesn't help that Abbey tends to flit around with an angelic smile on her face, being extra helpful and extra sweet and extra good after Jack gets in trouble. Just in case he didn't realize that she was behaving better than him, she has a serious need to rub his nose in it.
Sunday, September 13
Friday, September 11
Friday, September 4
In other Fall news, Jack started the second grade on Tuesday. Second grade! I can't believe it. Only one more year and we go into the dreaded . . . gulp . . . MCAS testing years. And he's like an honest to goodness boy now. Not like before he was Pinocchio or anything, but today he's zipping around on his bike and fooling around with his friends at the park, barely acknowledging my existence. Abbey had her very first soccer practice and she was so excited. In her pink shinguard's with her little ponytail swinging, she was A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. It was so great to watch her practice while Jack was biking around with his friends. Unlike when he practices and she pulls on my arms and jumps on my back like a monkey and begs to be taken to the playground. Oh well, I'm sure that soon enough neither of them will want to be anywhere near me when we go to the fields, so for now I should probably appreciate their attention.
My new second grader (check out his spikey hair)
The Queen of Soccer
Wednesday, September 2
Sunday, August 30
Thursday, August 27
Grrrr. So I will try again. I will jump back onto my point counting dragging my tired fat ass on the treadmill exercising routine, and hope for a positive outcome. I'm thinking that with the kids starting school next week, us getting back into a routine again (which we SO need) and the crisp cool air of fall approaching, I can do it this time. I think. No, I can. I will. Wish me luck, I'm off to harvest my wheat in Farmville now.
Friday, August 21
Random Thoughts From People Our Age
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
- That's enough, Nickelback.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light Internet stalking.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.
- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Monday, August 17
So we sat on the beach and soaked up the sun (after chasing the kids around spraying sunscreen at them while they screamed like hot wax was being dripped onto them) and even went out and bought boogie boards so that we could ride the waves in the warm ocean water. (Seriously, it was like 70 degrees, and this is MAINE we're talking about!) We walked to the pier and rode the rides and ate fried dough and played games that cost $2 where you win a stuffed animal that cost 31 cents to make. We played a very expensive round of mini-golf where everyone managed to get a hole-in-1 (well, almost everyone . . . sorry Matt). We ate lobsters dipped into melted butter and did sparklers on the beach and watched fireworks, and well, just had a perfect beach vacation. There was still the usual whining and demanding and fighting, but all in all the kids were pretty good. They have been totally spoiled though. Never again will we be going on this many vacations so close together, and I fear that I have set them up for a lifetime of summertime disappointments. Oh well, I guess they'll live.
Abbey the boogie boarding queen
Abbey and her Uncle Matt
Abbey and Brady riding in style
Jack was so proud to go on all the big rides with his older cousin. Here they are on their 6th ride on the rollercoaster, right in the front as usual.
Is it just us, or does everyone accumulate this many towels and crap?
(Notice the other house in the background - not ONE towel hanging off the deck!)
The whole group waiting for the tide to come in and destroy our day's work of sand castle building
On another blog-worthy note, have you ever heard of ski-ishing? We ran into 2 guys (who were apparently insane) on the beach late one night. Well, it was like 9, but that's late to me. They were wearing full-on wetsuits with flippers and everything, and they had fishing polls with them. They told us they swim out to about 40 feet of water, float there the ENTIRE night, and fish. If they catch one they let it pull them (hence, the ski-ishing part). They said they would float with the current and be at it until dawn. Yup, I thought they were nuts too.
Saturday, August 8
Thursday, August 6
Friday, July 31
Wednesday, July 29
Tuesday, July 28
Friday, July 24
My beloved one,
I am Mrs. Rita Anderson from Luxembourg, I am 51 years old; I am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast. my late husband was killed during the gulf war, and during the period of our marriage we had a son who was also killed in a cold blood during the War.I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. I selected you after visiting the website for this purpose and prayed over it, I am willing to donate the sum of ($18.5Million) It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless babies home where I come from. I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows.
Well sure Mrs. Anderson. I will take your money and distribute it to who? The motherless babies? From where? Is that even how you spell Luxembourg? Let me guess, I just have to send you a message and then you will tell me to send you, oh, $2,000 or $3,000 for some sort of transaction fee and then boom, just like that, I'll get the $18.5 million. Yup, thanks a lot Mrs. Anderson. You've just made all our wishes come true.