Wednesday, April 29

Tweet Tweet

Do you Twitter? Do you Tweet? Do you know what I'm talking about? I really don't. Lately all I see EVERYWHERE is stuff about Twitter.

"Catch me on Twitter"

"Woman saved from suicide by Demi Moore on Twitter"

"Madonna has swine flu, according to Twitter"

"Find us here, on Twitter"

I mean, I blog. I feel pretty cool just doing that, but do I now have to supplement my blogging with twittering? These words are just crazy. I do like that word "twitter" better than "blog." "Blog" sounds like a weird animal that lives in a muddy swamp, while "twitter" sounds like a fun and light bird type action that makes you happy. I have to admit I am completely clueless about this whole thing. I'm not really that surprised, considering it took me about a year to catch up with the rest of the world regarding the whole Facebook thing. But this Twitter intrigues me. Is this something you do on the computer? I get the feeling it is something that is done from a cell phone, but am quite certain my phone does not have any "twittering" applications. Or does it?

As a side note, I just spell checked this post and the words "twitter" and "blog" were NOT considered misspellings, leading me to think that they are so popular that they have been accepted into the land of computer dictionaries. Facebook on the other hand was totally flagged, as was "intrigues," although that is just because that is a hard word to spell and I spelled it wrong.

Tuesday, April 28

How Many?

How many children do you think I have? According to these pictures, I must have at least 4 or 5, right? Well no, I have 2. 2! My question is, if I only have 2 children, why in the hell do we have so many shoes? So many bikes, scooters, etc.? Why? Why? Why do we have so much crap?

Saturday, April 25

Cats Cats Cats

Where the hell have you been? is what you are probably asking me, right? 4 days with no post! Then again, probably no one really noticed that 4 days have gone by with no post. So, what's been going on? Actually, not much has been going on and a lot has been going on, if that makes any sense. Remember my post here about getting a cat, well that damn cat kept me busy. It wasn't her fault really, but she was not accustomed to living with a giant dog, and the dog was not, shall we say, thrilled to be living with a little cat, so obvious mayhem ensued. Not fun Three Stooges mayhem, just general work for me. I spent most of the last 2 weeks trying to either keep them apart or get them to know each other in an effort to lessen the torture of trying to keep them apart. After the cat was apparently "blocked" from the use of her litter box in the middle of the night by the dog she peed on Abbey's bed, twice. Luckily Abbey was spending the night on the bottom bunk in Jack's room. After that I had to make sure the cat was either shut into my bedroom (with litter box & food) or at night shut into the bathroom (with litter box and food) while she meowed her little head off. It really wasn't fair to her, or to me. I'm totally tired. So today she went to my parents house to live. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed tight that she will bond bond bond with my nanny, keep her company and become a light in her life, so much so that my parents never want to give her back. Let's hope for that, shall we.

In other news, it was school vacation week. We didn't do too much. I did hear something random about it being "turn off the t.v. week" as well, but I just scoffed at such a thing. I wouldn't want to mess with the children's recent ironic addiction to the movie The Aristocats. I hadn't made many plans since I wasn't sure how Jack would be feeling after getting his adenoids out last Friday. I did manage to pull together a little birthday party for him yesterday with some of his friends. He invited 4 boys over for an afternoon of pizza, cupcakes and gun play. Yes, boys do like guns. I mean, they really really really like them. Politically incorrect? Probably. But they are 7 year old boys, after all. They ran around like wild animals pretending to shoot each other outside for hours. They brought each other to "jail" which consisted of a tree in the backyard. They raced on bikes down our little hill (I did make them put on helmets for that part). They gobbled food while simultaneously talking about each other's farts and boogers. They guffawed and they snorted. It was a blast for all (except maybe for Abbey, but luckily for her she had a friend over as well to lessen the sheer boy-ness of the day). Also, it was the easiest party I've ever hosted in my life. No planned activities. No games. No piniata. Just them playing together. Note to self on future birthday parties, less really IS more.

Tuesday, April 21

My Firstborn is 7!

Jack turned 7 today. I can't believe it. I can't believe it has been 7 years and 3 weeks since I was put on bed rest. Ahhhh, bed rest. So nice. It was most likely the last time I actually got any rest at all. I remember I was so excited to become a mother, it was something I felt like I was born to do. Unlike calculus or say, baking cakes.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Monday, April 20

Like Yellowed Paper

At work today I had a bit of a revelation. I am getting old. I know that I am not young young, belly button ring wearing party all night downloading music girl, but I still don't picture myself as that old. Right? I mean, I'm only 34 which is not even remotely close to that big one of 4-0. But today as I was updating our many many law books I was faced with the undeniable fact that I am getting really old. When a new law is made, or amended, or if an old man in Washington decides we need to add a ; somewhere, new pages are printed up and sent out. It is my all important job to pull out the old pages and replace them with brand new ones. I know, you are in awe of me. Admit it. Anyway, today I was replacing pages like usual when I was able to replace some really old pages. They were wrinkled and yellow with age, you could just tell they had been in the book for ages and ages. I glanced at the top to see when they were published. 5-96. That's right, as in May 1996. I realized with a start that it was the exact month I graduated from college. When I graduated from college (which seems not that long ago to me really) these pages were white and crisp and brandy new. Now they are weathered and yellowed and . . . old. Just like me.

Saturday, April 18

I Want More Mashed Potatoes!

Jack had his adenoids out yesterday and I'll admit, I was a little freaked about the whole "going under anesthesia" part. It's hard when your kids have anything medical done to them and gives you that pitty feeling in your stomach. I was able to be in the operating room with him while they gave him the special happy gas (Dennis stayed home with Abbey), and once he was out I was off to the waiting room. It felt like a while, but in reality it was over in 15 minutes. It was such a relief when the doctor came out to tell me that everything went great and he was fine. About 20 minutes later a nurse came in to tell me that he was starting to wake up and that I could come in. He was groggy and out of it, but he kept giving me and the nurses the thumbs up sign. He really was being a little trooper and I was so proud of him. They wheeled him into this little curtained off room where he could watch a movie, but he just wanted to sleep. We had to stay for about 2 1/2 hours so they could monitor him, and then we were sent home. Just like that. By noon we were home and he was doing great. Really great, like much greater than they had said he would. I was told he would be sleepy all day, that was untrue. I was told to try to get him to have at least 5 ounces of liquid every hour to stay hydrated, but he was drinking juice like a fish. They said he could have soft foods after about 12 hours, but the second we returned home he wanted to eat the spaghettios that Abbey was having for lunch. He said he was starving. So he ate those. Then he ate some mashed potatoes. Then he had some ice cream. And Popsicles. He is supposed to be resting but he seems fine. He is YELLING for me to bring him more mashed potatoes constantly so his throat can't be that sore. I stopped giving him the Tylenol with codeine after the first dose because he says his throat feels OK. He is actually being quite demanding, lounging around on the couch yelling for mashed potatoes and Popsicles, hogging the remote. I know he just had surgery, but geez, I've seen worse recuperation from a hangnail. I think one more day of "resting" oughta do it, then he's off that damn couch.

Wednesday, April 15

Warning: House of Germs

Jack had the stomach bug. Now I have the stomach bug. My only hope is that the buck stops here as they say and Dennis and Abbey don't get it. Oh, I also hope that it causes me to lose 5 pounds like Jack did, but I won't hold my breath on that one. This bug has been a real bitch, in the way that Jack felt better, then worse, then better, then worse again. It came and went, so just when I thought he had kicked it, it was back. Sneaky little virus. Because of this we still went about some of our weekend plans. Easter egg hunt, having the ENTIRE family over for ham and assorted fattening casseroles. Unfortunately the next day I came down with the bug, proving once and for all that he was contagious the entire time I was forcing him and his germs onto unsuspecting relatives. I got news that my cousin's 5 year old son started throwing up this morning. So yup, we're that family. The germ giving family.

So to all of my family and everyone at the town egg hunt, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry if you were infected. If it makes you feel any better, I've been puking for 3 days now. On and off of course, because you know, it's the "Come and Go" virus.

Sunday, April 12

Happy Easter

Last night I started off the Easter celebration by attending the Vigil mass at church with my mom and aunt. It is really a nice service (even though it was over 2 hours long!) with all the candles and the darkness and the singing. I could do without the many, many, many, many readings though. I am always reminded of the year when Dennis and I went with the family and Dennis secretly kept putting spit on his candle before the service started. When it came time to light it, my mother leaned over in the spirit of Christianity and love to share her flame, and Dennis' candle just spit and sizzled and smoked, it wouldn't light. I can still see the look on my mothers face. I could almost read her mind. "He is an evil spawn, I knew it." Ha ha ha, priceless. That was back when we were just dating and Dennis used to go to church with me. He doesn't go anymore, now that we're married. Sinner.

Happy Easter

Friday, April 10

Surprise Surprise

I'm so happy to share with you all that after almost 10 years of marriage my husband can still surprise me. First there was that extremely surprising (and expensive) Christmas gift of a trip to St. Thomas. Last night, it was a cat. Without even asking me. I tried to lock the door before he got to it carrying the cat carrier but he was too quick for me. The kids are thrilled of course, especially since they have been asking for a cat for ages. "Mommy when Max dies can we get a cat, please please please please." I clearly stated for all to hear (including my husband) that after the dog was gone we could think about getting a cat. Think about it. Just think. I am not a big cat person and I am certainly not a "multiple pets" person. I'm not sure why I don't like cats that much, but lets share some examples to try to find out, shall we?

When I was a little girl my Aunt got me and my brother a cat once as a gift. I'm not entirely sure she actually cleared this with my parents first, which is weird and kind of strange. Anyway, from my memory we had this cat for about 2 weeks before it mysteriously "ran away." My parents told me not to worry though because my grandmother saw it over in her neighborhood getting picked up by the animal rescue league where it would find a good home. I also remember hearing snippets of conversations in which my mother was not too happy about my aunt giving us a "slutty cat with a sexually transmitted disease that they had to put down." Yup. Slutty cat definitely did not end up in a good home. I'm not even sure they put it down properly. I have suspicions that my dad put it in a bag and threw it into the river. But that could just be my memory playing tricks on me.

Another memory I have is that once after a huge rainstorm I found a teeny tiny kitten that had been washed down into the sewer and was stuck there. My father? Or a neighbor? Or a stranger I don't even know wandering my streets? freed the poor little thing from certain death and I got to play with it for about 2 hours before my parents "returned" it to it's real home. Suspicious.

When we were teenagers Dennis gave me another cat for Valentines Day. A beautiful little white one. I'm not sure why because I had never given him any indication that I desired a cat, or even liked cats at all. I'm pretty sure he didn't clear this with my parents either. So he gives me this cat that spent the first 2 days under my bed, only to finally emerge and sit on top of my head, purring and licking my hair. It drove me CRAZY. I used to lock it out of my room at night only to hear my brother yell from his room "get this cat off my head!" After approximately 5 months the cat was chased into a corner under the porch by 2 neighborhood dogs and mauled to death.

So you see. I'm not a cat person. I don't even have good luck with them. And we have this dog you see. He's big and old and does not like cats in the least. Perhaps he is too deaf and his eyesight is too poor that he won't notice the cat? I have to admit, it's been an easy pet so far. Dennis opened the door to the carrier, I saw a streak of gray and the thing hasn't come out from under my bed. It did emerge sometime last night to use the litter box I put right next to the bed. But no other contact with us at all. Tonight it will probably come out and start licking my hair.

Thursday, April 9

Go and See

Tonight Jack's cub scout den had their "go and see" activity. It's one of the requirements for moving on from a Tiger Cub into a Wolf Cub. His den got to go to a newspaper office to see how a paper was put together. From the time he got off of the bus though he said he wasn't feeling well. His stomach hurt and he just wanted to lay on the couch. I kind of chalked it up to carsickness. Apparently today on the bus they got to "switch" with the big kids and sit in the back of the bus while the older kids sat in the front. Jack said it was super bumpy and gave him a stomachache. He is totally prone to carsickness so I figured that was it. He said he still really wanted to go to the newspaper office though, so off we went. He was OK until we got there and he stepped out of the van and proceeded to throw up all over the sidewalk (and a little on my feet). But then he said he felt GREAT and still please please while crying all over the place couldn't we go in? Even though I knew it was a bad idea and at this point was thinking it really maybe was not carsickness I relented and in we went. Don't you hate that? That feeling with your kids that even as you are doing something that you just know you have made the wrong decision. You just keep moving ahead with the wrong decision with that knot in your gut telling you that you have made a mistake. It didn't help that this newspaper office was in a super old building that smelled like old papers and printing chemicals. As we walked up the 4,030 steps into the top of the building Jack just kept kept paler and paler. I was holding onto his jacket and had it at the ready, poised to catch throw up in it. I just kept thinking to myself "please don't throw up on the equipment. Please don't throw up on the old archived newspapers from 1914." And then there was the nagging suspicion that if this wasn't carsickness that we were at that very moment infecting 6 other little boys with some throwupy virus right before Easter weekend. After about 10 minutes which felt like 400 Jack conceded that he really didn't feel well and wanted to go home. We were down those 4,030 steps in a flash and out of there. Now he is laying on the couch with a bucket, sipping flat coke and watching television. I am thinking no school tomorrow.

On the up side, unlike my previous post, he is acting like a complete angel. A sick angel, but an angel nonetheless.

Tuesday, April 7

Tired and Cranky

Do you ever just dislike your children? Or one child in particular? Today Jack has really been pushing my buttons and annoying me. As soon as he got off the bus it started. He didn't want to bring the trash barrel down the driveway (which is like his only damn chore and he does it every week), whine whine whine. He didn't want to stop playing with the Star Wars people strewn all over the den to get ready for taekwondo. Whine whine whine. Then we get to taekwondo and he is obnoxious there. Not listening. Picking his nose INCESSANTLY. Why? Why must you pick Jack? It's disgusting and embarrassing and downright gross. So stop it please. Of course, I am watching from the sidelines while he just picks away and am trying to will him with my mind power to make him stop, which never works. The only saving grace was that his teacher, an extremely tough guy who is referred to as "sir" was out today, having a colonoscopy. His daughter who is equally tough and I believe on her way to the Olympics for taekwondo or something was filling in and really didn't garnish the respect usually reserved for sir himself. When we got home the whining just continued. "I'm hungry, I want cheezits" and then I had to call him 4 times to come to the table for dinner which was also annoying because he was so damn starving 20 minutes earlier, and now he's not listening to me. After dinner it was homework time and that was a nightmare as well and like pulling teeth. But Abbey was a sweetheart today of course. I've noticed that when Jack is being especially obnoxious Abbey takes that opportunity to be extra sweet. Saying "please" and "thank you." "This is a very good supper mommy" "thank you for putting my Barbie's dress on" "I love you mommy." I'm sure tomorrow she will be a pain and Jack will be angelic. Well . . . maybe not tomorrow. . . since he hasn't exactly been angelic since he was at least 4. But maybe sometime soon. But now it's bedtime and I've had enough. I am just ready for them to go to sleep and then I am just going to bed. I'm cranky and tired and annoyed. Goodnight.

Monday, April 6

Bad Driver Award

We had a nice weekend. Besides the usual yard work and laundry we took the kids to see Monsters vs. Aliens and out for pizza Saturday night. The movie was OK. I would give it a solid 6 on a scale of 1 - 10. Jack liked it, Abbey actually fell asleep and so did Dennis. Nice. I just kept looking over at them snoozing and thinking, "hello, we paid $10 for you two, WAKE UP!" I think it may be better in 3D, but our theatre only offered it in 2D. I found the "2D" description ridiculous. 2D is just regular viewing. Why say anything at all. Or maybe put "NOT in 3D" instead of making you think you were going to get a new cinematic experience seeing a movie in "2D". Sunday my mother took both the kids to see Disney on Ice which they loved, and I loved having a morning child-free to work around the yard. We still have quite a bit of cleanup from the ice storm from Hell and we are hosting Easter in a week so I'd like to yard to be somewhat tidy. My dad came out and put the handles onto my cabinets. Go dad! Then Jack had his very first baseball practice. So it was a busy weekend, not exactly relaxing in any sense but are any weekends relaxing when you have kids?

So all is well and Monday morning hits and what do I go and do? Something totally stupid. Jack was being slow as usual and the bus drove by. I told him I would just drive him (I go right by the school on the way to work anyway) but he insisted he wanted to ride the bus. "We can catch it mommy, come on, hurry" so out we ran and jumped into the van. The windows were a little big fogged over but whatever, we had to go. I threw it in reverse and heard the horrible screeching scraping sound of car against car. I had completely scraped the side of Dennis' Subaru with the van. The same Subaru that recently spent 1 MONTH in the shop getting repaired from ice storm damage. The same Subaru that had a shiny and new paint job. Yes, that Subaru. Not so shiny and new anymore. I pulled this exact same thing years ago. I was 16 and newly licensed and jumped into the car, threw it in reverse and completely scraped up the side of our friends car. To protect their privacy, lets call them, the family that lives in a House on the Hill. That time I didn't even realize what I had done. I actually thought I had scraped against the bushes on the side of the driveway. Oh well, I guess I'm not going to win any good driver awards this month.

Thursday, April 2

Jello With A Side Of Boogers

Last night after dinner Abbey walked by Jack holding a container of jello. Her dessert. He promptly picked his nose (he claims he only "pretended") and wiped it onto her jello. Much crying and screaming ensued, ending with a brand new jello and the contaminated one in the trash. I wanted to get mad at him, I mean jello doesn't grow on trees, but it was just such a brotherly thing to do. I mean, how much more stereotypical brother antagonizing his sister behavior can there be than booger wiping? I must admit that there is the usual amount of "he hit me" "she grabbed me" "he bumped into me on purpose" and just as much "it wasn't me!" "no I didn't" and "she's lying" going on in our house, but there is also a wonderful bond that I see growing between them. They are each other's most constant companion, playmate and Saturday morning cartoon watching partner. I love that with a 2 1/2 year age difference that there is fighting, but that they are also able to play together, especially now that Abbey is older. They can play real games now, and I appreciate the burden it takes off of me to be the constant entertainer. True, it's a trade off, as I have turned into the constant referee instead, but it's worth it. They may fight, but in the end I know that they have each other's backs. Even last night after the booger wiping incident, while laying in bed reading a "Jack and Annie" book ("Jack and Abbey" in our house) there was a picture of Annie in a prairie dress. "What a pretty dress" Abbey exclaimed. Jack answered her "it is pretty, but your dresses are prettier and you look really pretty in them." Now isn't that nice?