Why I Play Bejeweled and Other Nonsense

You may have noticed, oh thee in cyberspace, that I haven't exactly been in a bloggy mood lately. It's not just that I've lost my passion for writing this blog, I haven't been reading anyone else's blog either. I used to check on my fellow bloggers every day, and now I check maybe once a week. Not really sure why this shift has taken place, I think it is because I have just become so busy with real-life stuff. Stuff that occupies my time and my mind. When your kids are small so much of your world is wrapped up in them, what they do and what they say and how they act. You want to share with the world how darn cute and wonderful they are. The way they change and grow and amaze you every day. Eventually though, they stop amazing you quite so much, and turn you into a taxi driver instead. Once they start school and sports and activities, and start to have their own lives outside of you, its easy to become wrapped up in to-do lists and schedules and before you know it, it's 10 at night and you feel like you have barely taken a breath all day. If you are like me you start volunteering for Cub Scouts and PTO and book fairs. I like to be involved, and interacting with the other parents at school, PTO, Taekwondo and other such places is enjoyable. It just doesn't leave much time and energy for blog writing. I do enjoy writing though, it is something, really the only thing these days, that I do for myself and my goal is to try to write at least once a week. I am going to try to hold onto my thoughts and ideas through the week (yes, I said try) so that I can get them down in some sort of organized fashion. This brings me to the title of this post. I am not going to lie to you and say that Facebook and Bejeweled and Farmville don't take up way too much of my precious little free time, but I will explain why I enjoy it so much. Whenever Dennis sees me checking my crops or playing bejeweled he gives me a hard time. "You're playing that stupid thing? Why?" I know he really doesn't want an answer, he just wants to make fun of me for playing. The real reason I do though is that it is mindless. Harvesting fake corn or trying to line up 3 matching colored jewels takes very little brainpower. It is an escape that I think I really need. It relaxes me. While attempting to beat my high score in bejeweled I'm not thinking about what's for dinner, who needs new snow pants or if we have enough milk donated for the PTO spaghetti supper. I'm not packing lunches or calling doctor's offices or helping with incredibly frustrating Everyday Math homework. I'm just resting. My brain is resting. So yes, this is why I sit at the computer and do these inane things. My brain is tired. It needs to rest. Doesn't yours?

Random Bearded Man

I have a confession to make. I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Yes, it's true. And a bit of that time, I have to say, is spent farming. But that is not what this post is about. Just now, while perusing my friends status updates to see what everyone is up to on this cold Saturday I noticed an ad on the side of the screen. This is what I saw peeking at me.

Now what would you think this is an ad for? Razors? The plight of the homeless perhaps? A frightening premonition of what my husband will soon look like if he continues on his "no shaving ritual" of the winter? No. The ad is titled "Scholarships for Moms" What? It then goes on to say that if you make less than $45,000 a year you can qualify for a grant. What. The. Hell? How does this man's picture in any way have to do with mothers or money or grants? Is it some sort of subliminal warning? Like if you don't go back to school and make something of yourself your children will grow up to look like this? Unshaven and a bit unhappy? Or maybe if you don't have an education this is the type of man who will want to date you? Beats me. But it cracked me up, so I had to share.

A Bit Of A Milestone

Try not to faint at the fact that I am posting 2 days in a row. I just wanted to throw something out there acknowledging a little bit of a milestone. Nothing huge mind you, or life shattering, but I just noticed on my handy dandy little statistical counter that I have now had over 10,000 hits on this site. That is not to say and please don't be confused and think that I have 10,000 READERS (whoa, how cool would that be?) but merely 10,000 hits. Which means after you subtract the 8,345 times I personally have clicked onto my blog, I had quite a few devoted readers following along. So thank you devoted readers. Maybe I will have some sort of contest to commemorate this auspicious occasion. Yes, a contest. Stay tuned for me to come up with one. I can't make any promises but a Dunkin' Donuts gift card may be up for grabs.

Ice-iversary

Over the past week and a half there have been so many times that I have thought of a good blog post, but they never made it onto the computer. Like the day I felt like the only thing I ate was the bits and pieces of the kids food. Crusts of toast for breakfast. Crusts of ham and cheese for lunch. Leftover cold french fries and congealed mac and cheese for dinner. Then I almost posted about Abbey getting her five year immunizations. 4 shots, lots of crying and screaming resulting in a 102 degree temp and a day home from school the next day. Then I was going to blog about our Tumpka Timpka elf on a shelf and how already she has "forgotten" to leave our house and come back to a new spot the next day. This was subsequently blamed on the fact that Jack got a little bit too close to her the day before, and a bit of her magic disappeared for about 24 hours. So many times I have sat down at the computer and then been called away to do other things. Christmas things, party things, kid things, house things. Things. We even passed over the 1 year anniversary of the Ice Storm of 2008 without me blogging about it. The anniversary was actually last Thursday night into Friday morning since the storm itself raged through the night. In case you are new to my blog, or maybe you forgot and would love to relive it with me, you can read about our adventures in ice here and also here and here a see some lovely pictures here and also some more here. This Saturday the 19th is the actual anniversary of when the pipes burst rendering us homeless and rootless for a while until we moved into the comfort of that oh so lovely trailer in the yard. Oh brown paneled trailer of fun, how I do NOT miss you. Well hasn't this been a wonderful trip down memory lane! At least I can say that all of that madness from last year did result in new floors, new walls, new cabinets, some new furniture, and a new found appreciation for our HOME. All these many months later, it is still GOOD TO BE HOME!

A Hunting They Will Go!

I think that some sort of hunting season started today. Or maybe it has been going on for a while and I just noticed it. This morning at the gas station there were about 5 guys sitting around having coffee in their hunting clothes. Camouflage and BRIGHT orange vests. I don't really understand the logic in these ensembles. I get that you wear camo so that you blend into your surroundings, but then you put on bright orange so that you are not accidentally shot by a fellow hunter. So if you are going to wear bright orange, why wear the camo at all? You are not blending in, so what's the point? I have lived in the woods for 8 years now, and since that first winter I started to notice this odd phenomenon of trucks parked randomly on the side of the road. It took me a while to figure out (well, finally Dennis told me) that these vehicles which I previously thought were all broken down are really hunters. That does make more sense, I mean, how could ALL of these trucks and SUV's be broken down at the same time? At first I thought we could be in danger, I mean, some of these cars are parked VERY close to where we live, and I was picturing bullets zinging through our backyard. Luckily this has not happened. I guess they venture deep into the woods to do their killin'? Who knows. All I can tell you is that while I am not necessarily "for" the senseless killing of animals per se, I don't find too much wrong with the hunting in my town. I am pretty sure by the looks of these guys that they don't just hunt for fun. I mean, I think if they ever actually get anything, they are going to be cooking it and stewin' it and eating it up. Luckily for all the wildlife about, I have never, ever, ever in all of these 8 years actually seen a hunter emerge from the woods with a dead animal. I have never seen a dead deer tied to the roof of a truck. So either these hunters are really really bad at it, or the animals are really really lucky.

7 Foods You Had No Idea About

Here's a tip, when you tell Kai-Lan on t.v. to use the brain in her giant over sized head to answer her own damn questions, that means you need to eat lunch because you are obviously getting cranky. Luckily I heated up a panini mighty quick before I started swearing at the little sprite. Then I was perusing the computer and came across these ominous words: "7 Foods That Should Never Cross Your Lips." Not that you shouldn't even just eat, but that should never even come in contact with your lips! I thought to myself, "it is probably stuff people don't ever eat anyway, like ammonia or peroxide" and decided to check it out. This, ladies and gentlemen, are the 7 foods you should never eat. I mean never, don't even think about it you might as well just throw yourself in front of a bus right now because you are going to die if you eat any of these things list:

1. Canned Tomatoes. Ummm, yup. I'm pretty sure I didn't see this one coming right off the bat. Something about a chemical in them is really bad for you? Good thing I'm not adding these to anything I cook, right?

2. Corn-Fed Beef. I personally have no idea what the beef I buy eats. I get it in the grocery store, in the beef section, and it doesn't say what kind of diet the aforementioned cow had. Upon further reading though the article says that you should get grass-fed beef, which you can find at Farmers Markets. Since I have never bought any meat at a farmers market, and am pretty sure that we don't even have farmers markets around here (especially in the winter!), we are screwed on the beef front, best to just stick with chicken.

3. Microwave Popcorn. Damn. We are in trouble.

4. Non-Organic Potatoes. Pretty sure this counts that flaky kind that comes in a box or a pouch.

5. Farmed Salmon. Phew, we hardly ever eat fish, unless it is in the form of a stick, so we are all set here.

6. Milk produced with artificial hormones. OK, so maybe I just grab whatever milk is the least expensive and is 1%. Then I read you should buy Walmart's Great Value brand milk, because they don't use something called rBGH. I totally buy Walmart milk. All the time. Phew. I am a good mother.

7. Conventional (meaning non-organic) Apples. Apples. As in an apple a day . . . blah blah blah.

So I have to go now. I'm going to go and munch on an apple while heating up some microwave popcorn for the kids for a snack, to hold them over until their dinner of fish sticks and boxed instant mashed potatoes is cooked. Don't worry, I'll make sure they drink their milk.

New Flintstones Product

People Our Age

I read this, and it made me laugh so hard I wrenched my back out (actually, I did that shopping, but laughing sounds better). Of course, I had to share it.

Random Thoughts From People Our Age

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  
  
• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
  
  
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
  
  
• I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
  
  
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
  
  
• That's enough, Nickelback.
  
  
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
  
  
• Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
  
  
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
  
  
• There is a great need for sarcasm font.
  
  
• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
  
  
• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
  
  
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  
  
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  
  
• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  
  
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
  
  
• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
  
  
• Was learning cursive really necessary?
  
  
• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
  
  
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  
  
• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
  
  
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
  
  
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
  
  
• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
  
  
• What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
  
  
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  
  
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  
  
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  
  
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
  
  
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  
  
• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  
  
• Bad decisions make good stories
  
  
• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
  
  
• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
  
  
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
  
  
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.
  
  
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
  
  
• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
  
  
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  
  
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  
  
• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
  
  
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
  
  
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  
  
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  
  
• When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light Internet stalking.
  
  
• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
  
  
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.
  
  
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  
  
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  
  
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
  
  
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  
  
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  
  
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.
  
  
• My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
  
  
• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
  
  
• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
  
  
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  
  
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
  
  
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
  

Just Call Me Mrs. Weasley

In recent months I have spent a little bit of time on Facebook, much of the time taking useless and random quizzes. I wondered when all layed out what Facebook quizzes say about me. Let's take a look, shall we?

In the Facts of Life I would be Mrs. Garrett

My Spell of choice is to Stupify

If I were a Death Eater I would be Lucius Malfoy

If I were an Entourage character I would be Vincent Chase

I should marry Ron Weasley

Ironically, my Harry Potter Character is also Ron Weasley

My Hogwarts House is Hufflepuff

My Hippie Name is Freedom Daisy Sunshine

If I were an 80's Toy I would be a Lite Brite

If I were a Star Wars Character I would be Luke Skywalker

If I were a Billy Mays (R.I.P.) product I would be the City Sliders (hamburger makers?)

If I were a 90's sitcom I would be Boy Meets World

If I were a Muppet I would be Scooter

If I were a Random Object I would be a slice of American cheese

My aura is blue

In a past life I was a Jester

In a horror movie I am the besieged protagonist, watching all my family and friends get killed off but surviving

I should live in Maine, but when I go camping I should stay in a travel trailer or 5th wheeler

I would survive 5 minutes in the Ghetto and 5 minutes in an alien invasion

I am 42% crazy, 15% bitchy, and 100% girly

Facebook deems that my life is "Average" and that in a movie about it Debra Messing should play me

Finally, I am 79% addicted to Facebook

To Blog Or Not To Blog, That Is The Question

Lately I've been feeling a little bit, well, blah about blogging. In the beginning I felt like I had all these ideas and thoughts running through my head that needed to get out. My kids were doing a lot of things that were either damn funny or damn cute, and so totally blog-worthy. But lately? Although they are still funny and still cute, they haven't done much that is very blog-worthy. We are just busy living our life. Work and house stuff and summer fun. Camps and cookouts and bug spray. Not very blog-worthy stuff in my opinion, so I just haven't been writing. Last year when I went on vacation for a week I could not wait to get home and blog. I missed it. This year? Not so much. It was nice to not even think about it, and it took me a full 3 days after we got home to even write anything at all. It's not that I don't want to write. I would love to be so creative that I could write a hysterical or touching or brilliant post every day, but apparently I am not that creative. Maybe I am having some sort of writers block that will come undone soon. Maybe not. I was starting to stress out a little bit about my lack of good posts when my tell it like it is friend told me to relax. Blog, don't blog. People will get over it. They like to read, but no one is going to die if you don't write an interesting post every day. And you know what? She's right. You'll all be just fine.

Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

Here is a random list of things that being a mother has taught me (in no particular order of importance).

Not bringing food with you into the bathroom is something that you actually have to teach your children, not something that they just know.

You can worry about things you didn’t even think existed before you had kids.

You are never “fair.”

No matter how occupied your children are, they will need you urgently the second you either sit on the toilet or pick up the phone.

The theme song for “I Carly” is quite catchy and good to dance along with.

All of the actors you remember from your own television shows as a child are now apparently providing the voices for every cartoon character under the sun, i.e., “is he watching the Wonder Years in there? I think I hear Fred Savage.”

Band-Aids are required every time you leave the house.

To a child sunscreen is the same as hot searing acid. The same goes for bug spray.

A fever in the middle of the night is 1,000 times worse than the exact same fever at 2 in the afternoon.

The people who make children’s programming are on some sort of hallucinogenic drugs.

You would die to save your children. You would rip someone apart with your hands like a wild mother bear if anyone tried to harm them.

You can no longer watch any kind of news involving the abuse of children.

Oddly, permanent magic marker does not stay on Ziploc baggies.

You can exist on less sleep than you ever thought possible.

Sleeping “in” means sleeping past 8 am.

You can use your hands as a tissue, when given no other choice. You can also use your sleeves.

You can love another person unconditionally, and more than you love yourself.

What have you learned?

Blah Blah Blah

Ants, spiders, more ants, mosquitoes, beetles, moths, fly's, more ants and one tiny little green worm I found creeping along my bedroom floor. These are the bugs in my house right now. Yuck. I can't stand bugs and wonder why I live in the woods when I would be much rather suited for a condo in the city. Of course, they have their own bugs I'm sure, you can't escape them. If I moved into the heart of New York City with not a speck of grass or tree I would have rats and cockroaches, and I think those would be worse.

So Abbey and I are home today, no work and no activities. We are on about the 12th straight day of rain (minus Wednesday which was beautiful, the 1 day of the week). We were home yesterday too, so I got all my cleaning and laundry and shopping done. So far today I have gotten up and put Jack on the bus, gone out to breakfast, thrown in the last random load of whites, pulled out all the paint paraphernalia for Abbey and laid on the couch. I laid on the couch in the middle of the day. Granted it only lasted about 45 minutes, but still, delightful.

Now I am greatly looking forward to school being over. Jack still has 3 days of school next week before he is off for the summer, and at this point it just seems ridiculous that he is still going. Every morning he fights me to get out of bed, every night he wants to stay up just a little bit later. I am done too, sick of packing his backpack and lunches, scrounging for quarters for his milk money. Tired of rushing out of work and stressing about getting home in time to get him off the bus. We are all ready for a break. Until about August, then I will be itching to get us back on a routine and back to real life.

So I think this post was quite appropriately titled "blah blah blah" because it was just filled with blah blah blah. Sorry.

Get Me Out Of Here You Crazy Cookie!

Last night I was super duper cranky, so cranky that I didn't even want to feed the children dinner but wanted them to just go to bed at 6. But alas I did feed them (hot dogs) and bathed them (well, technically I ran the water for Abbey and added the bubbles and then Dennis luckily got home early and finished up the process). He then put them to bed, while I lounged on the couch and drank wine (yes, I was that cranky). Anyhoo, while lounging I was of course flipping through the t.v. channels when I stumbled across "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" which apparently is a Survivor type reality show but with celebrities stranded instead of "real" people. I swear to you that I sat open mouthed gaping from the second I flipped onto this channel until I finally tore myself away. For one thing, I think their use of the word "celebrity" is a bit of a stretch. It has Heidi and Spencer (Speidy for those of you in the know), Janice Dickinson from that modeling show, two comedian woman who I've never heard of, a blond girl, one of the Baldwin brothers, the wife of a former Illinois governor (the WIFE, not even the senator himself, I mean really?), Shanzyia (?) from American Idol, and oddly thrown into the mix, Lou Diamond Philips (who I actually would probably consider a celebrity). I guess they hang out together in the jungle of Costa Rica, do challenges and then someone gets voted off? Not really sure of the storyline. I had to stop watching, because to use Abbey's favorite saying, it was freaking me out man.

In other entertainment news, my new issue of Cookie has arrived. As in previous months, it seems to be chock full of incredibly useful information for the average normal mother. Tori Spelling is on the cover and is looking beautiful while her children look adorable and Dean looks, I guess, rugged? There is an entire section devoted to redecorating your kids rooms. The rooms are gorgeous of course, and feature economical and practical items like a vintage steamer trunk for your 8 year old boy ($425), Shiro birch shelving for your unborn child ($3,800), or small pillows with bubbles on them for only $75 each! But wait, there's more. Father's day is just around the corner, and you're not sure what to get that love of your life? Cookie to the rescue. 21 items they deem perfect. I'm still not sure what to get Dennis. I'm torn between the $386 espresso pot, a $165 cologne, the $798 carryall bag, the $100 boy scout knife set, or $70 aviator sunglasses. He would probably really like the pocket knife, but he would look pretty sexy in those sunglasses. Decisions decisions. But shush, don't tell him. I want him to be surprised.

I know I bash this magazine, but I honestly do like to read it. It gives me quite the chuckle. And really, without it what would I blog about?

Confession

OK, so last night I was flipping around the t.v. channels when I landed on a channel with a movie just starting. That made me excited because it was 9:00 and I really could have gone for a good movie. Then I discovered it was "You've Got Mail" and I got disgusted and changed it quickly. That is when I realized that I DO NOT LIKE MEG RYAN. Yes, that is my confession. (What did you think it was going to be?) I know that she is supposed to be the all cute girl next door all sunny and bright girl, but she bugs me to no end. In every movie I've seen her in she always acts pretty much the same, which is like she is on heavy drugs. She is always loopy and weird acting, and way too perky when perkiness is not called for. And really too skinny, bony actually. The only movie I enjoyed her in (besides "When Harry Met Sally") was when she played the drunk alcoholic mother in "When A Man Loves A Woman." Now that role she nailed, mostly because she seems to be in a perpetual state of drunkenness anyway. I watched "Proof of Life" recently with Russell Crowe and the entire time I just kept thinking what a better movie it would have been if someone else had been cast in her role.

So that's it my loyal readers. Now you know. I do not like Meg Ryan. Can't stand her. That's all.

Swimming Pigs?

OK, I am going to admit it, I never knew that pigs could swim. I guess I have never actually thought about it, and if I had I would have come to the conclusion that sure, if they were, you know, drowning they would probably paddle themselves to safety, but to swim for fun? Who knew. Check out Nothing But Bonfires (I love her slogan, "You say tomato, I say your saying it wrong") and see a video of real live swimming pigs. I swear. I had no idea.