Here's a tip, when you tell Kai-Lan on t.v. to use the brain in her giant over sized head to answer her own damn questions, that means you need to eat lunch because you are obviously getting cranky. Luckily I heated up a panini mighty quick before I started swearing at the little sprite. Then I was perusing the computer and came across these ominous words: "7 Foods That Should Never Cross Your Lips." Not that you shouldn't even just eat, but that should never even come in contact with your lips! I thought to myself, "it is probably stuff people don't ever eat anyway, like ammonia or peroxide" and decided to check it out. This, ladies and gentlemen, are the 7 foods you should never eat. I mean never, don't even think about it you might as well just throw yourself in front of a bus right now because you are going to die if you eat any of these things list:
1. Canned Tomatoes. Ummm, yup. I'm pretty sure I didn't see this one coming right off the bat. Something about a chemical in them is really bad for you? Good thing I'm not adding these to anything I cook, right?
2. Corn-Fed Beef. I personally have no idea what the beef I buy eats. I get it in the grocery store, in the beef section, and it doesn't say what kind of diet the aforementioned cow had. Upon further reading though the article says that you should get grass-fed beef, which you can find at Farmers Markets. Since I have never bought any meat at a farmers market, and am pretty sure that we don't even have farmers markets around here (especially in the winter!), we are screwed on the beef front, best to just stick with chicken.
3. Microwave Popcorn. Damn. We are in trouble.
4. Non-Organic Potatoes. Pretty sure this counts that flaky kind that comes in a box or a pouch.
5. Farmed Salmon. Phew, we hardly ever eat fish, unless it is in the form of a stick, so we are all set here.
6. Milk produced with artificial hormones. OK, so maybe I just grab whatever milk is the least expensive and is 1%. Then I read you should buy Walmart's Great Value brand milk, because they don't use something called rBGH. I totally buy Walmart milk. All the time. Phew. I am a good mother.
7. Conventional (meaning non-organic) Apples. Apples. As in an apple a day . . . blah blah blah.
So I have to go now. I'm going to go and munch on an apple while heating up some microwave popcorn for the kids for a snack, to hold them over until their dinner of fish sticks and boxed instant mashed potatoes is cooked. Don't worry, I'll make sure they drink their milk.