Friday, October 24
I Don't Have To Go!
Why do kids wait SO LONG to go pee? It is so frustrating. I mean, how busy can you possibly be that you can't take the 1 1/2 minutes necessary to go to the bathroom? Are they solving world peace? Finding a cure to cancer? Cleaning the dust bunnies out from under the refrigerator? NO! They are playing, or watching t.v., or playing a video game. For some reason even the mundane act of staring at a dead bug is vastly more important than going to the bathroom. We see them dancing around, fidgeting, skipping, getting that look. You know the look. That anxious, nervous, guilty look. As a parent you can look across a cavernous room the size of a football field and know by your child's movements alone that they have to go. Jack waits until the last possible instant, pulling his pants down and whipping it out before he even gets to the toilet so that the first stream goes directly over the bowl and down the other side, puddling by the base way back where you can't see it. Then you clean your toilet and scrub it and think it is clean but your bathroom still smells like a public restroom at the beach on one of the hottest days of the year. But where is the smell coming from? You clean the toilet again, clean the floor around it, but still the smell lingers. Then you discover it, a puddle of dried urine on the base of the toilet, way back by the pipes. Lovely. At least Abbey is tidier. She waits until just a little dribble comes out, just enough so that she needs a new pair of underwear (averaging about 5 pairs a day). The night before last I actually had a dream and in it all I was doing was cleaning pee off of the floor. Bright yellow pee. Over and over and over again, no matter how much I cleaned there was always more. Come to think of it, we will categorize that as a nightmare!