If I couldn't hear my own shrill voice myself I might think I had been stricken mute, for all the attention the kids were paying to me today. I worked today, so I was only with them for about 6 hours. 6 hours in which they not only did not listen to me, but just ignored me and pretended that I wasn't even speaking. No matter how many times I told them to settle down, stop dragging each and every cushion and blanket off of each and every surface of the house, they just kept doing it. They were playing this game of covering each other up with blankets and pillows. It was fine until I noticed they were also piling other things on top of each other. Toys. Candles. Lamps. Clothes from my room. Then the game became not so acceptable. My muteness must come and go though because they were able to hear me when I told them that dinner was ready, but then I must have lost my voice again because they did not hear me when I told them to eat their green beans. I know that sometimes to do listen, it's just that right now I can't exactly come up with any examples to that effect. To correct this problem I just kept talking louder and louder and LOUDER as the night wore on, so that by the time I was trying unsuccessfully to get them into the tub I was screaming and I'm sure the entire neighborhood could hear me through the open windows. It's a wonder the police have never showed up to take me away in cuffs, which might actually result in me having a good nights sleep.
In the end they did listen, but only after I threatened to take t.v. away for the rest of the night and not let them watch "The Lion King" in Jack's bed. Jack got it right away, he must have seen the ferociousness in my eyes, but Abbey was slower to catch on. She just kept right on ignoring me while I asked her and then told her it was time to brush her teeth. "Jackie, I have to show you something, Jackie look at this, Jackie I have a secret" and on she went, just ignoring me as if I were not even in the room. Jack kept getting more and more scared looking. He knew that her not listening was going to affect his movie watching. Now it was serious. Finally he said "Abbey, do what mommy says or else we won't get to watch Lion King, brush your teeth." And you know what she did. She did it. She went in and brushed her teeth. Sure, listen to your brother, not me. I'm just your mother.
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Kirsten,
Why we do not get together more is BEYOND me. Our lives are so similar (ok - definately husbands aside!) it freaks me out. I am so so glad that I am not the only one who is going through this. No - that seems mean - am I really glad your kids ignore you too? No that can't be what I am saying. Anyway, on Monday night Joe's dad was over. Joe had allowed the kids to bring a jump rope into the house. (Something I forbid for the exact reason of the story I am about to tell). So anyway - if you can picture my great room Julie had one end of the jump rope in back of the couch and Tommy had one end of the jump rope in front of the couch and the middle was wrapped around my favorite lamp. (You know - the breakable, nonreplaceable, sort) Right before this happened I asked the kids to stop. I KNOW I did. But I, like you, MUST have gone mute. I didn't realize it until I read your post - but oooh now it makes sense. I love my lamps so I ran over and grabbed the rope by the middle and told my children again very loudly to stop. But they didn't - not even a little. Now the lamp is starting to slide and I am becoming hysterical - now I am screaming stop so loud that I am sure only certain wildlife animals can hear the decible - that must be why the kids couldn't hear me. This is the screaming voice usually reserved for the end of long days when I am alone with the kids - certainly NOT in front of my father-in-law. But I was desperate. I needed them to stop and I did not have time to think of good punishments if they didn't. I needed them to stop NOW. Well after yelling stop about 10 times louder and louder - I gave Thomas "THE LOOK". Well he's been punished enough to know that Mommy was serious. He, like Jack, is old enough to understand consequences. He let go. Julie? It was as if she never heard a word, but after Tommy let go - I guess she thought the game was over. Two seconds later - I am there victoriously (?) holding the jump rope - putting it away so they may not play with this any longer. The kids? Didn't even seem to notice. TOTALLY unphased. And Dad? He watched these events wide eyed. He commented about how the kids didn't seem phased. Oh the joys of motherhood.
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