Get Me Out Of Here You Crazy Cookie!

Last night I was super duper cranky, so cranky that I didn't even want to feed the children dinner but wanted them to just go to bed at 6. But alas I did feed them (hot dogs) and bathed them (well, technically I ran the water for Abbey and added the bubbles and then Dennis luckily got home early and finished up the process). He then put them to bed, while I lounged on the couch and drank wine (yes, I was that cranky). Anyhoo, while lounging I was of course flipping through the t.v. channels when I stumbled across "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" which apparently is a Survivor type reality show but with celebrities stranded instead of "real" people. I swear to you that I sat open mouthed gaping from the second I flipped onto this channel until I finally tore myself away. For one thing, I think their use of the word "celebrity" is a bit of a stretch. It has Heidi and Spencer (Speidy for those of you in the know), Janice Dickinson from that modeling show, two comedian woman who I've never heard of, a blond girl, one of the Baldwin brothers, the wife of a former Illinois governor (the WIFE, not even the senator himself, I mean really?), Shanzyia (?) from American Idol, and oddly thrown into the mix, Lou Diamond Philips (who I actually would probably consider a celebrity). I guess they hang out together in the jungle of Costa Rica, do challenges and then someone gets voted off? Not really sure of the storyline. I had to stop watching, because to use Abbey's favorite saying, it was freaking me out man.

In other entertainment news, my new issue of Cookie has arrived. As in previous months, it seems to be chock full of incredibly useful information for the average normal mother. Tori Spelling is on the cover and is looking beautiful while her children look adorable and Dean looks, I guess, rugged? There is an entire section devoted to redecorating your kids rooms. The rooms are gorgeous of course, and feature economical and practical items like a vintage steamer trunk for your 8 year old boy ($425), Shiro birch shelving for your unborn child ($3,800), or small pillows with bubbles on them for only $75 each! But wait, there's more. Father's day is just around the corner, and you're not sure what to get that love of your life? Cookie to the rescue. 21 items they deem perfect. I'm still not sure what to get Dennis. I'm torn between the $386 espresso pot, a $165 cologne, the $798 carryall bag, the $100 boy scout knife set, or $70 aviator sunglasses. He would probably really like the pocket knife, but he would look pretty sexy in those sunglasses. Decisions decisions. But shush, don't tell him. I want him to be surprised.

I know I bash this magazine, but I honestly do like to read it. It gives me quite the chuckle. And really, without it what would I blog about?

Cookie!

I ordered a new magazine during a recent "help your favorite Girl Scout" magazine drive. Browsing through I saw that they offered "Cookie," a fairly new magazine that I had glanced through once or twice at the library. It was really reasonable, like $12 for the whole year, so I thought why not. Well, my first issue arrived, and I tell ya, I am NOT impressed. The cover looked promising. "Secrets From The Mom Who Always Looks Together" "1 Meal That Will Give You 4 Days Of Dinners" and "Probiotics - Why It's Good" or something like that. First, that mother that always looks so "together"? Well dear reader, when she has to run out the door and just needs something to "throw" on in a hurry, she always grabs for her "go to" dress. An adorable little wrap item, that you can also own for around $2,000. FOR A DRESS! And her little girl has just been "living" in her new "skinny" jeans (only $145). Uh huh, thanks for those wonderful and realistic tips, biotch. On to the wonder meal that you can make on Sunday in your leisure time and then throw the leftovers together Mon-Wed to make great meals. Here are your starting items - Braised Pork Ala' can't pronounce the rest, Simmered Apple Slices with Fancy stuff about it, and some odd looking Artichoke number. You simply cook this up (on Sunday) and the family eats it, presumably, and then for the next 3 days you take your leftovers and add things to them that you already have in your kitchen, like tartlets and fresh tarragon, and viola~ dinner is served. Hah! And don't even get me started on "Probiotics." Good bacteria? Bad bacteria? In a powder form? As a chewable vitamin? Yup, not caring. There was also an adorable spread on children's new looks for spring. Little dresses for girls (only $305!) and pinstripe vests for boys ($135, what a steal!) As far as I could tell the only reasonable items throughout this magazine were the tights the girls were wearing ($6) and even that is a bit steep for one pair of tights. The best part, an article describing a new "Candy/Ice Cream Shop" in New York City. Shots of Celebrities and Fashionista's and their dressed to the nines children noshing on sundaes and candy, while the mom's lounged on red velvet settee's sipping cocktails before they were all whisked away on horse drawn carriages to the opening of a new "Ralph Lauren" store.

Yup, it's like this magazine has been peering right into my life.