Sunday, August 30

So I Never Claimed To Be A Gourmet

For anyone who knows me, they know that cooking isn't really my thing. I would rather scrub my toilet than whip up a batch of something totally complicated, like sugar cookies. I would rather organize my arts & crafts closet than bake a pie. I LOVE those cookies that you just break apart and bake, as far as I'm concerned they are one of the best inventions of all time. I like to make casseroles, things that you cook in one dish. Throw in some ingredients that usually start with chicken (as long as they are not complicated I've never heard of ingredients, like pine nuts), cover, and bake. Voila'! Dinner is served. I like take-out, or better yet, going out. My kids eat a lot of nuggets, grilled cheese and soup, and breakfast for dinner (otherwise known as "brinner"). I knew all this about myself, but I still assumed that I could boil an egg. Well, you know what they say about people that assume. I stayed at my parents last night with my grandmother while they are away at the lake. This morning I wanted to make her favorite breakfast, soft boiled eggs and toast (a dish apparently eaten in abundance during the Great Depression). I mean, it's boiling eggs. How hard could it be. Well let me tell you, it's super hard. First the pan that I used didn't seem to get along with the fancy smancy flat conture of my parents stove top of the future. It kept jumping all around, cracking one of my first egg attempts. Then I lost track of like 2 minutes and the next 2 eggs ended up way too hard boiled. By now Nanny's toast was cooling rapidly and I still had no eggs to show in the cute little chicken shaped egg cups. The next 2 were better, but upon trying to peel them (which by the way is a COMPLETE bitch!) I discovered they were a little too runny. I deemed 1 cooked enough and delivered it to my super appreciate Nanny. "Oh, honey, you didn't have to make me this." This statement is ridiculous in itself, this from the woman who over my lifetime has served me hundreds of meals. Dozen's of Chicken Divan's. Countless butterscotch puddings made from scratch in fancy dishes with whipped cream on top. Endless holiday feasts. Yes Nanny, I think after a lifetime of making me food I can attempt to make you 2 soft boiled eggs. On my last attempt at a good soft boiled egg I smartened up and changed pans. This one sat on the flat stove top just right. The egg was simmered to soft boiled perfection. After it was done I even realized that the shell peeled off super easy. In my hand I had the perfect soft boiled egg.

Then when I was bringing it upstairs to her I tripped a little and the damn egg fell on the floor.

Stupid eggs.

4 comments:

Lindy said...

I didn't even know there was such a thing as a soft boiled egg so you are clearly better at this than me.

Pam said...

I never know what the right time is to hard boil an egg either....therefore I avoid. Avoidance is best sometimes!

Jen said...

The first time I tried to boil eggs, I boiled the water first (like you do for pasta) dropped the eggs in and they all cracked open! But hey I learned how to make poached eggs!

missy said...

I would have no idea how to even attempt a soft boiled egg, I'm not very good at the hard-boiled kind. But what really got my attention was your arts and crafts closet. Do you truly have an entire closet just for arts and crafts stuff? Oh I am truly jealous! I have stuff just shoved wherever I can and never can find it. I don't have enough closet space for anything never mind an extra one for that! Sorry, I know it was all about eggs but...