A Slump

I think I am in a slump. Have you ever felt that way? Lately I feel like I have let myself go. My treadmill has dust on it, and I have been eating anything and everything I feel like. I finally forced myself to step on the scale yesterday morning after 2 months of neglect, and it showed. 7 pounds. At the beginning of the summer I had lost 5 with grand plans to lose the final 15. But now I've backtracked up 7. I did quit smoking this summer, so I guess some weight gain should be expected and is a small price to pay, but it doesn't seem so small now. I have always been an "all or nothing" type. I'm exercising, I'm drinking my water and eating right, taking my vitamins and flossing my teeth. But since summer I've been in the "nothing"category. And it shows. Even my skin has turned against me, with moutainish eruptions all over my chin. My hair is weird, and most of my pants are too tight, even my blog posts has become pretty b.o.r.i.n.g. Something MUST be done, or else I will just keep on getting frumpier and more zitty! And I will have NOTHING to wear, ever. It doesn't help matters that I was banned from straightening my hair by my hairdresser. I bought a straightener (see above) in 1997 and was amazed. Finally, straight hair was mine. Straight smooth hair. But over the last 11 years the poor thing got a little bit tired, so that by the end it wouldn't heat up enough and I would have to pull it over the same parts of my head again and again. In this process I apparently "burnt" the top part of my hair and was instructed to throw away my dear straightener and refrain from straightening for at least a month. Woe is me. Now the month is up but I have no straightener and the "good" ones are like $100, so . . . I stay curly for now. But not good curly, it is curling in weird new places and giving me an odd look, when I pull it back it is like the do Alice wore on the Brady Bunch. So in admitting that I am in a slump I vow to "un-slump" myself from this point forward.

So, hear me now. I am committed to going on my treadmill 5 times a week. I will stick to my Weight Watchers points of 22 and check in with my scale at least once a week. Giving me further motivation is the fact that we are going to Disney World in May. In 7 months I DO NOT want to be huffing and puffing across the Magic Kingdom with my thighs rubbing together in such a way that I may start a small fire. I don't want all our vacation memories to have me red-faced and sweating. Wish me luck . . . I will of course need it. And if anyone out there wants to "un-slump" themselves with me, let me know. There is strength in numbers!

2 Weeks

Is 2 weeks long enough to lose 15 lbs? Probably not. You see, my vacation is in a little less than 2 weeks, and I really wanted to be at my goal weight for this one. It's also my 34th birthday, but I'm ok with being only 2,190 days away from 40, really. I probably should have started trying to lose this 15 lbs long ago, and now that I think of it I did. I actually started trying to lose this 15 lbs in 2002, after Jack was born. Hmmmmm, you'd think in 6 years I would have made a dent. Actually I did make a small dent. I started out wanting to lose 20 lbs, I changed the goal and now it's down to 15 lbs. Soon I will change it to 10, then maybe 7 and before you know it I will be at goal. I will then probably celebrate with some Chinese Food (Diet Killer!) or a giant Pesto Calzone . . yum.

So, I dusted off my old "Slim in 6" DVD and popped it in. 58 minutes of sweating my ass off, while the kids either tried to do it with me (a comical effect) or sat on the couch eating microwave popcorn watching me like they were at some weird live stage production of "Mommy The Red Faced and Sweaty Monster." Actually, I skipped over a few parts. I mean, for over the first 20 minutes it was all lower body work, is there really a need to lay on the floor and do 10 minutes of even more leg work. I don't want to be an overachiever. And the 10 minutes of ab work, who am I kidding. I can barely do a sit-up. So that pared it down to 38 minutes. You would think the stretching/yoga portion (8 minutes) would be nice, but yoga is HARD. Mountain Pose, Downward Dog, Dead on the Floor . . . oh wait, I think only I was doing that position.

Why is it so hard? What's that you say? Eat less and exercise more and I will see results? What??? It can't be that simple yet so unbelievably ridiculously hard. So, I will valiantly try to do this stupid, I mean effective, DVD with this skinny bitch, I mean motivating beautiful woman, 6 days a week. You see, you are supposed to do it 6 days a week for 6 weeks, that's the Slim in 6 part of the title, get it? But I think doing most of it for like 4 days a week for 2 weeks oughta do it.