Four In The Bed

You know that song, "There were 10 in the bed and the little one said, roll over, I'm squished.

So they all rolled over and one fell out, there were 9 in the bed . . . "

Well, here is my new version:

There were 4 in the bed and the big momma said

Get the f%$k out of my bed, I'm squished!

I know that I have posted before about my children's inability to sleep in their beds for the entire night. For a while it was getting better, there were even 3 or 4 nights out of the week where no child came into our bed at all, at least until the morning. Lately though we have had a huge setback in sleeping habits. Now Jack is in our room every night without fail. If he wakes me up I bring his back to his own room to sleep, but most of the time he just sneaks quietly in next to Dennis, pushing Dennis into the middle and shoving me toward the edge. I wake up at some point with my ass hanging half off and Dennis' elbow in my ear. Usually the reason I have woken up at all is that Abbey is asking me to "move in" so she can join us. Really, our bed is a queen sized, although I don't even think a giant California King could hold us all. We are not small people, and our children are getting bigger by the second. Jack is 70 lbs now, and Abbey grew over 3 inches this year. So instead of doing the "right" thing, the Supernanny thing of saying nothing and putting them gently but forcefully (gently but forcefully, what?) back into their own beds every single time they get up, I usually just give up, grab my alarm clock and head to an empty bed. Jack's is my first choice, being that it is a double and pretty soft. Abbey's isn't bad though, it is a cozy little twin and I find her newly decorated big girl room quite soothing. But all these interruptions make for not good sleep, I swear I never get any of that REM sleep any more and I think that is why I can't lose any weight. Yeah, that's the reason. It's because of the children waking me up . . . yup, that has to be it. Yet another way the sneaky children are making me fat! Drat.

Sleep Tight

How comfy does this look like to cuddle up to at night? My son has dozens of deliciously soft, plush stuffed animals, Webkinz and so on, and what does he choose to sleep with? Why, it's a wooden ship of course! It has the 3 main ingredients to help you drift into la la land. It's big, it's hard, and it has many pointy parts that can take your eye out at any time during the night. The ironic thing is that this is one of his most favorite toys, and Santa didn't bring it, and he didn't get it for his birthday. He found it in the basement at my in-laws house. I think it is supposed to be decorative, but whatever, it is what it is.

Oh well, as I've said before, whatever it takes to fall asleep. Perhaps we can try a chainsaw next.