Farewell . . . For Now

Well, it has been quite a while since I blogged. So long in fact that my ad's on the side were discontinued and Blogger sent me a message wondering what the hell had happened to me. Life has been busy, of course we all get busy, and I most definitely got out of the blogging mode. I even stopped reading other people's blogs. In some ways I didn't want to reminded of my own non-writing phase. But life happens, first my uncle became very sick, and after fighting in the hospital for 3 weeks he passed away. I didn't want to blog about what was happening, but it felt wrong somehow to ramble on about anything else, hence I just didn't write at all. Then there was the usual scouts and dance and taekwondo. I have been getting more and more involved in the PTO and put on a "Mother Son" night at Jack's school, involving 3-legged races, tug of war and other such activities. THAT event took up a lot of my time and coincidentally gave me an eye twitch that began about 2 weeks before the actual event until it was over. Then I hosted Easter, and now baseball and tee-ball are starting and the weather is getting nicer. Iack's making his First Communion and its time to pull out the bikes and the gloves and the balls, the sunscreen and the bug spray. No time to be sitting indoors writing. Lately while at home there have been days when I haven't even turned ON my computer at all. No e-mail, no Facebook. Nothing. It feels nice. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when the computer screen is black. I've heard from a few friends that they miss my posts and want me to write again. Who knows, maybe I will someday, but for now though I think this is the end for a while. It felt unfinished and wrong to just leave it hanging there with "Parenthood" as my last post, although I guess in some ways it was fitting. I didn't want to just sign off though without saying thank you, thank you, thank you to the readers. Those of you who read what I wrote all the time, without judgment. You left nice comments and buoyed me up more times than I can count. I enjoyed writing so much, but once it began to feel like a job I knew it was time to put it to rest. Who knows? Six months may pass and I may pick it up again, or maybe I will put it all together some day and make it into a book. So watch out for "Notes From A Human Napkin" on bookstore shelves everywhere . . . yup . . . in my dreams.

Ta ta ~~

Parenthood

Do you remember that Ron Howard movie, "Parenthood" from the late 80's? I loved that movie when I was a kid. Loved it loved it, loved it. I saw it when I was about 15 and I just knew that I wanted my life to be like that. Not the whole child seeing a psychiatrist, younger brother with a gambling problem or the pregnant teenage daughter craziness, but the general craziness of family. My favorite scene is the opening one, where the family leaves the baseball game. Kids are dragging, souvenirs are falling. Everyone piles into the mini-van and the mother is strapping everyone into car seats and the parents look tired and haggard and overwhelmed, but they look happy. Even then I knew I wanted that. I wanted a nice house and a husband and kids and chaos. Practices and games, dinners and homework, school plays and parent teacher conferences. I wanted to be a mom. I know it sounds very 50's of me, but in actuality it really was my main goal. And now I have it. The chaos and the craziness and the exhaustion, and the happiness. The happiness of being a parent.

So Far So Good

I love this little girl, especially the fact that she doesn't think she is presentable enough for the EMT and Firefighters!

How Many?

Do you ever have to answer the following question: "How many more bites before I can be finished?" If you are a mom (or a dad) the answer is probably YES! I answer this question daily, mostly from Abbey. She spends SO much time talking during meals that it is not unusual for the rest of us to be finished and she has taken 2 bites. She has story after story after story, each more interesting than her meal. Inevitably I have to tell her to stop the yakking and eat, and then the question arises "How many more bites?" The other day I realized that there is NO correct answer to this question. It is based on such a huge amount of variables that it would be impossible for anyone but you to answer. For instance, what else have they eaten that day? If lunch consisted of a bowl of carrots dipped in ranch dressing followed by a nice apple, perhaps the correct answer for bites of veggies left would be 2. On the other hand, if lunch was macaroni & cheese with a side of oreo cookies, the answer could be more like 6 bites. My answer also depends on my mood. Am I in a good mood? Then maybe 3 bites of veggies will do. Already mad at you for taking every single pillow off of every single item of furniture in the house after I told you not to? Then the answer might be 4. The day of the week also has an impact. Is it a weekend? A Friday night? Then forget it, the answer is you're done and leave the kitchen already and where is that bottle of wine?

So you see, the question of "How Many More?" is really quite difficult. It is much more than a simple number. It is dependent on mood, weather, the calendar, and so much more. You will remember this the next time your child asks you how many more bites they have to take. Your mind is like a steel trap sifting through variables to come up with the correct answer, and you didn't even know it.

Why I Play Bejeweled and Other Nonsense

You may have noticed, oh thee in cyberspace, that I haven't exactly been in a bloggy mood lately. It's not just that I've lost my passion for writing this blog, I haven't been reading anyone else's blog either. I used to check on my fellow bloggers every day, and now I check maybe once a week. Not really sure why this shift has taken place, I think it is because I have just become so busy with real-life stuff. Stuff that occupies my time and my mind. When your kids are small so much of your world is wrapped up in them, what they do and what they say and how they act. You want to share with the world how darn cute and wonderful they are. The way they change and grow and amaze you every day. Eventually though, they stop amazing you quite so much, and turn you into a taxi driver instead. Once they start school and sports and activities, and start to have their own lives outside of you, its easy to become wrapped up in to-do lists and schedules and before you know it, it's 10 at night and you feel like you have barely taken a breath all day. If you are like me you start volunteering for Cub Scouts and PTO and book fairs. I like to be involved, and interacting with the other parents at school, PTO, Taekwondo and other such places is enjoyable. It just doesn't leave much time and energy for blog writing. I do enjoy writing though, it is something, really the only thing these days, that I do for myself and my goal is to try to write at least once a week. I am going to try to hold onto my thoughts and ideas through the week (yes, I said try) so that I can get them down in some sort of organized fashion. This brings me to the title of this post. I am not going to lie to you and say that Facebook and Bejeweled and Farmville don't take up way too much of my precious little free time, but I will explain why I enjoy it so much. Whenever Dennis sees me checking my crops or playing bejeweled he gives me a hard time. "You're playing that stupid thing? Why?" I know he really doesn't want an answer, he just wants to make fun of me for playing. The real reason I do though is that it is mindless. Harvesting fake corn or trying to line up 3 matching colored jewels takes very little brainpower. It is an escape that I think I really need. It relaxes me. While attempting to beat my high score in bejeweled I'm not thinking about what's for dinner, who needs new snow pants or if we have enough milk donated for the PTO spaghetti supper. I'm not packing lunches or calling doctor's offices or helping with incredibly frustrating Everyday Math homework. I'm just resting. My brain is resting. So yes, this is why I sit at the computer and do these inane things. My brain is tired. It needs to rest. Doesn't yours?