Notes From A Human Napkin

Farewell . . . For Now

2010-04-07T11:42:00.005-04:00

Well, it has been quite a while since I blogged. So long in fact that my ad's on the side were discontinued and Blogger sent me a message wondering what the hell had happened to me. Life has been busy, of course we all get busy, and I most definitely got out of the blogging mode. I even stopped reading other people's blogs. In some ways I didn't want to reminded of my own non-writing phase. But life happens, first my uncle became very sick, and after fighting in the hospital for 3 weeks he passed away. I didn't want to blog about what was happening, but it felt wrong somehow to ramble on about anything else, hence I just didn't write at all. Then there was the usual scouts and dance and taekwondo. I have been getting more and more involved in the PTO and put on a "Mother Son" night at Jack's school, involving 3-legged races, tug of war and other such activities. THAT event took up a lot of my time and coincidentally gave me an eye twitch that began about 2 weeks before the actual event until it was over. Then I hosted Easter, and now baseball and tee-ball are starting and the weather is getting nicer. Iack's making his First Communion and its time to pull out the bikes and the gloves and the balls, the sunscreen and the bug spray. No time to be sitting indoors writing. Lately while at home there have been days when I haven't even turned ON my computer at all. No e-mail, no Facebook. Nothing. It feels nice. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when the computer screen is black. I've heard from a few friends that they miss my posts and want me to write again. Who knows, maybe I will someday, but for now though I think this is the end for a while. It felt unfinished and wrong to just leave it hanging there with "Parenthood" as my last post, although I guess in some ways it was fitting. I didn't want to just sign off though without saying thank you, thank you, thank you to the readers. Those of you who read what I wrote all the time, without judgment. You left nice comments and buoyed me up more times than I can count. I enjoyed writing so much, but once it began to feel like a job I knew it was time to put it to rest. Who knows? Six months may pass and I may pick it up again, or maybe I will put it all together some day and make it into a book. So watch out for "Notes From A Human Napkin" on bookstore shelves everywhere . . . yup . . . in my dreams.

Ta ta ~~

Parenthood

2010-02-17T11:43:00.006-05:00

Do you remember that Ron Howard movie, "Parenthood" from the late 80's? I loved that movie when I was a kid. Loved it loved it, loved it. I saw it when I was about 15 and I just knew that I wanted my life to be like that. Not the whole child seeing a psychiatrist, younger brother with a gambling problem or the pregnant teenage daughter craziness, but the general craziness of family. My favorite scene is the opening one, where the family leaves the baseball game. Kids are dragging, souvenirs are falling. Everyone piles into the mini-van and the mother is strapping everyone into car seats and the parents look tired and haggard and overwhelmed, but they look happy. Even then I knew I wanted that. I wanted a nice house and a husband and kids and chaos. Practices and games, dinners and homework, school plays and parent teacher conferences. I wanted to be a mom. I know it sounds very 50's of me, but in actuality it really was my main goal. And now I have it. The chaos and the craziness and the exhaustion, and the happiness. The happiness of being a parent.

So Far So Good

2010-02-10T11:54:00.001-05:00

I love this little girl, especially the fact that she doesn't think she is presentable enough for the EMT and Firefighters!

How Many?

2010-02-04T13:12:00.006-05:00

Do you ever have to answer the following question: "How many more bites before I can be finished?" If you are a mom (or a dad) the answer is probably YES! I answer this question daily, mostly from Abbey. She spends SO much time talking during meals that it is not unusual for the rest of us to be finished and she has taken 2 bites. She has story after story after story, each more interesting than her meal. Inevitably I have to tell her to stop the yakking and eat, and then the question arises "How many more bites?" The other day I realized that there is NO correct answer to this question. It is based on such a huge amount of variables that it would be impossible for anyone but you to answer. For instance, what else have they eaten that day? If lunch consisted of a bowl of carrots dipped in ranch dressing followed by a nice apple, perhaps the correct answer for bites of veggies left would be 2. On the other hand, if lunch was macaroni & cheese with a side of oreo cookies, the answer could be more like 6 bites. My answer also depends on my mood. Am I in a good mood? Then maybe 3 bites of veggies will do. Already mad at you for taking every single pillow off of every single item of furniture in the house after I told you not to? Then the answer might be 4. The day of the week also has an impact. Is it a weekend? A Friday night? Then forget it, the answer is you're done and leave the kitchen already and where is that bottle of wine?

So you see, the question of "How Many More?" is really quite difficult. It is much more than a simple number. It is dependent on mood, weather, the calendar, and so much more. You will remember this the next time your child asks you how many more bites they have to take. Your mind is like a steel trap sifting through variables to come up with the correct answer, and you didn't even know it.

Why I Play Bejeweled and Other Nonsense

2010-01-27T09:55:00.009-05:00

You may have noticed, oh thee in cyberspace, that I haven't exactly been in a bloggy mood lately. It's not just that I've lost my passion for writing this blog, I haven't been reading anyone else's blog either. I used to check on my fellow bloggers every day, and now I check maybe once a week. Not really sure why this shift has taken place, I think it is because I have just become so busy with real-life stuff. Stuff that occupies my time and my mind. When your kids are small so much of your world is wrapped up in them, what they do and what they say and how they act. You want to share with the world how darn cute and wonderful they are. The way they change and grow and amaze you every day. Eventually though, they stop amazing you quite so much, and turn you into a taxi driver instead. Once they start school and sports and activities, and start to have their own lives outside of you, its easy to become wrapped up in to-do lists and schedules and before you know it, it's 10 at night and you feel like you have barely taken a breath all day. If you are like me you start volunteering for Cub Scouts and PTO and book fairs. I like to be involved, and interacting with the other parents at school, PTO, Taekwondo and other such places is enjoyable. It just doesn't leave much time and energy for blog writing. I do enjoy writing though, it is something, really the only thing these days, that I do for myself and my goal is to try to write at least once a week. I am going to try to hold onto my thoughts and ideas through the week (yes, I said try) so that I can get them down in some sort of organized fashion. This brings me to the title of this post. I am not going to lie to you and say that Facebook and Bejeweled and Farmville don't take up way too much of my precious little free time, but I will explain why I enjoy it so much. Whenever Dennis sees me checking my crops or playing bejeweled he gives me a hard time. "You're playing that stupid thing? Why?" I know he really doesn't want an answer, he just wants to make fun of me for playing. The real reason I do though is that it is mindless. Harvesting fake corn or trying to line up 3 matching colored jewels takes very little brainpower. It is an escape that I think I really need. It relaxes me. While attempting to beat my high score in bejeweled I'm not thinking about what's for dinner, who needs new snow pants or if we have enough milk donated for the PTO spaghetti supper. I'm not packing lunches or calling doctor's offices or helping with incredibly frustrating Everyday Math homework. I'm just resting. My brain is resting. So yes, this is why I sit at the computer and do these inane things. My brain is tired. It needs to rest. Doesn't yours?

A Few Things About NYC

2010-01-20T09:56:00.014-05:00

Here are a few things I learned about New York City this weekend while staying there with my girlfriends from college.

1. The white lines on the roads, intended to keep vehicles in their own lanes, are merely "suggestions" and not necessarily intended to be followed. This is especially true for taxi cabs.

2. When it begins to rain, rather than the streets clearing out, they are immediately flooded with hundreds of thousands of people, mostly carrying umbrella's that could take your eye out. Street vendors selling said umbrella's materialize seemingly out of nowhere.

3. The top of the Empire State Building is beautiful and serene, and oddly quiet, considering you are up there with about 300 other people at a time. If you happen to lose an earring up there, forget it, it's gone forever.

4. A delicious mixed drink, called a "Slutty Shirley Temple" that would cost you $5.00 at home mysteriously morph's into a $15 drink.

5. Just because you are near the site of where the bus driver told you was the World Trade Center and you see a cordoned off construction area, please don't assume that is the actual site. It could just be a normal run of the mill construction area, causing passer-by's to giggle and point at you as you take pictures.

6. Pizza delivery, no matter where you are, is delicous.

7. Lastly, no matter where you go with your 8 best friends, you are going to have a blast.

Got Blood?

2010-01-11T11:24:00.013-05:00

So, do you have blood in your veins? Sure, it may seem at times that chocolate must run through you (or in my case, cheese), but lets face it, we all have blood. And therefore most of us should have blood to spare. As in donate. Did you know that every time you give blood you can help save 3 lives? There are some instances in which you can't give blood, which include the following: you are sick or running a fever, you have low iron, or you don't weigh enough (if that is the case I don't even want to hear about it, just go have a sandwich and be done with it). I have been giving blood for a few years now, not as often as I would like, but 2 or 3 times a year. If I didn't have kids or a job I would give every 8 weeks, but sometimes it is hard to block an hour or 2 out of the day to give. When Jack and Abbey are a little older it will be easier, I'll just bring them with me and they can read or play a video game while I donate. One time I went to a blood drive at Jack's school. I had Abbey with me and made my appointment so that I would be done just about the time Jack was dismissed from school. Unfortunately they were running late and by the time I got hooked up school was dismissing. I had to have someone go and get Jack from the office and bring him to me, at which point the kids started asking me a million questions and asking me to do things like help them take off their coats, open their markers, and get them some cookies, all while I was LAYING DOWN ON A STRETCHER WITH AN IV NEEDLE IN MY ARM. It's all like, "excuse me kids, do you see all this blood draining out of me, could you maybe go and sit down at that table for a bit and let me finish?" But I digress. The pros of giving blood SO outweigh the cons. Besides the whole saving lives bit, which is awesome in itself, there are other incentives. Personally every time I have given the Red Cross has given me a prize. A Red Sox Tee-shirt or something like that. One time I even got a coupon for 6 FREE chocolate dipped strawberries from Edible Arrangements, and those cost like $10. Also, you need to bulk up on protein to get your iron up. Like maybe you should go and eat a couple of cheeseburgers that afternoon, or have a juicy steak the night before. Also, after you are done someone helps you over to a table and is all extra nice to you and gets you a cookie and some juice. They even have different kinds of juice to choose from. They will even OPEN your juice for you if you want, and really, after all the times WE have opened someone else's juice, its nice to have someone do it for you for a change. After you eat your cookies and drink your juice (reminiscent of being 7 years old) they tell you that you have to TAKE IT EASY THE REST OF THE DAY. No heavy lifting, rest up, drink plenty of fluids and DON'T EXERCISE. Don't even think about going on that treadmill! You just gave blood, you need to go home and lay down and tell your husband to do everything because, hey, you just gave actual blood from your veins. You had the blood and now it is gone and you really need to make some more so please don't bother me and while your at it could you grab me some more juice because they told me I have to drink lots of fluids. See, giving blood is awesome. As long as you are not afraid of needles like my wimpy husband, in which case I guess giving blood could kind of be traumatic.

And here is the best part! One of my fellow bloggers, Manic Mommy, is hosting her Third Annual MaNiC MoMMy'S Virtual Blog for Blood Drive Challenge! If you go here to her site you can read all about what she is up to. Basically if you give blood, and get a picture of yourself giving, and send it to her, you will be entered into a contest in which you can win all kinds of prizes, maybe even a Southwest Airline's ticket. Pretty nice isn't she? And you have from now until February 28th to donate. I myself have an appointment to give on February 17th, the next time the Red Cross comes to my town.

As a side note, Manic Mommy's dream is to get Ellen DeGeneres to find out about this virtual blood drive, spread the word and give on her show. If anyone out there that reads this blog knows Ellen by any chance, could you forward her this link? Thanks. You know, because I am quite sure that many of my readers have a personal in with Ellen DeGeneres. Yup.

Random Bearded Man

2010-01-09T12:38:00.007-05:00

I have a confession to make. I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Yes, it's true. And a bit of that time, I have to say, is spent farming. But that is not what this post is about. Just now, while perusing my friends status updates to see what everyone is up to on this cold Saturday I noticed an ad on the side of the screen. This is what I saw peeking at me.

Now what would you think this is an ad for? Razors? The plight of the homeless perhaps? A frightening premonition of what my husband will soon look like if he continues on his "no shaving ritual" of the winter? No. The ad is titled "Scholarships for Moms" What? It then goes on to say that if you make less than $45,000 a year you can qualify for a grant. What. The. Hell? How does this man's picture in any way have to do with mothers or money or grants? Is it some sort of subliminal warning? Like if you don't go back to school and make something of yourself your children will grow up to look like this? Unshaven and a bit unhappy? Or maybe if you don't have an education this is the type of man who will want to date you? Beats me. But it cracked me up, so I had to share.

Financial Future Secure . . . For Now

2010-01-08T17:00:00.008-05:00

I would first like to thank everyone for the nice words of encouragement this week, either on this blog or on the phone or in person. After a long slow week I think, hope, that everything is getting sorted out. Dennis will be going back to work . . . eventually. He has to see the EAP from the company and I guess we go from there. He is feeling better, although all this stress wasn't helping him one bit. It wasn't helping me either, apparently one side effect of work stress is threatening to quit and thereby, henceforth and therefor giving your wife a heart attack. He told me that as soon as he decided he should quit his job he felt much better, like all the stress was lifted off his shoulders. I told him that when he told me he should quit all that STRESS didn't just lift off his shoulders, it jumped off, picked up momentum and jammed itself into my gut.

So, as of now I am just hoping that we will end up with a resolution that we are both happy with, something that doesn't cause him to feel like running over his boss with a motorcycle (a true story, a worker from another garage actually did that to their manager) and that also lets me continue to buy food at the grocery store. It really doesn't seem too much to ask for, right?

88% Is Practically 100%

2010-01-06T10:14:00.019-05:00

On Monday night my husband came home from work and informed me that he had to quit his job. Hello? Excuse me? Pardon me while I go throw up. He has worked for the same company for 14 years (he's 34, so basically his entire working life) and I know that lately he has had a LOT of stress at work. Managers have started looking for reasons to fire guys, suspend them, basically make their lives miserable. The company he works for (which shall remain nameless) is a communications business and Dennis works on the lines, up in poles, in people's houses, in businesses. For the last couple of years this company has really been pushing their "wireless" products much more. Internet, cell phones. Great for advancing technology, not so great when your main source of income comes from actual wires. So for the past few months his work environment has been very unpleasant, to say the least. He has GPS in his truck. They hound him about why he was so many miles from a job, why he stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for 12 minutes, why his truck sat idling for a certain amount of time. Did he hand out a special card to the customer? Where is it? The customer says they didn't get it. What? It's true that if I had to work with someone leaning over my computer asking me why I was doing what I am doing and telling me that I am doing it wrong I may go insane too. So I am sympathetic. But quitting really seems like the LAST option to go here. His immediate boss likes him. He told her that he was going to quit and she talked him out of it. Told him to calm down. Take 2 or 3 vacation days and relax. Think about it. I might need to send her a fruit basket. He pulls good numbers (some of the best in the garage) and she realizes that they can't afford to lose him. HER boss on the other hand doesn't seem to really care how many guys go crazy and quit. They seem to figure less salaries to pay, less benefits to give out, and they want to be all "wireless" anyway, so what the hell, right? Well the hell is that we have 2 kids and 2 mortgages and a car payment, and food and heat and electricity, and these "wires" are 88% of our income. We can't lose 88% of our income. We could lose 88% of our house! We would have to eat 88% less! (Hmm, maybe I'll lose 88% of that weight I've been meaning to take off.)

Dennis told me "don't worry, it will all work out fine." This from the man who worries about RIDICULOUS things, things that don't even really affect us. Things that happen far far away. Who believes the world may actually end in 2012. Who has said that maybe we should arm ourselves in case of an end of the world emergency so that people can't loot our water supply. But losing 88% of our income? Nah, don't worry. No problem. It will work out he tells me. "Sure it will" I want to scream "because I WILL WORK IT OUT!" Someone has to be the one to work things out and that is usually (ALWAYS) me! I balance our checkbook and pay our bills. Buy the food and the kids clothes. I KNOW what him not working would do to us and I know exactly how long it would take us to sink into financial despair. It is about 3 weeks. So yes, THIS, this is something I do worry about. I am trying not to freak out yet though. He is going to take these few days off. He is going to talk to the Union (that he has payed serious dues into for 14 damn years) and discuss his options. Maybe he can transfer, or, oh, I don't know. All I know is that although he could get a new job somewhere, it might take a very long time and there is no way he would be making the same amount that he is making after working for 14 years for the same company. I am realistic, unfortunately I am VERY realistic, and that is not always a good thing. Not a good thing at all.

Instead of worrying, lets just have a listen to the kids and my new FAVORITE song. Take a deep breath. Relax. All will be fine. Really.

And The Winner Is . . .

2010-01-02T18:56:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year! My first contest has come to a close and after the careful analysis of the accounting firm of Jack & Abbey a winner has been chosen. So that it would be very technical and advanced I put everyone's name that left a comment onto an identical sized piece of white paper which I then, wait for it . . . folded and put into Jack's new magic hat. I know, super technical. Abbey then rooted around in there and picked a piece of paper. Here is proof.

Jack then read the piece of paper and announced the winner as "Kirsten, mommy you won yourself" which surprised me since my name wasn't entered and he was very excited until I looked at it and realized that it actually said "Kristen." So congratulations Kristen! You are the WINNER. Send me your address at humannapkin@gmail.com OR send it to me on Facebook and I will get your Dunkin Donuts card out lickety split. Thanks to all for entering!

Hello?

2009-12-28T19:13:00.005-05:00

OK people, this is pitiful. 5 comments for my Dunkin Donuts Gift Card contest? I know its only ten bucks, but that is not even the point. The point is that everyone likes to win free stuff! For goodness sakes even Lindy commented and everyone knows she drinks Starbucks pretty exclusively (unless she is mad at them). So listen up, I am waiting until Friday, New Years Day and then I am picking a random winner from my FIVE loyal and wonderful readers. And everyone else you will just be sorry. Sorry sorry sorry. And thirsty I tell you, you know, because you won't have free coffee. So I guess you will also be tired without the caffeine. Yup, just a bunch of sorry, thirsty, tired people.

So if you don't want to be tired and thirsty and sorry, go here and leave your comment.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T08:57:00.010-05:00

It is just before 9 am on Christmas morning and I am the first one up. Yes, my kids are still asleep. They have inherited a bit of Dennis' late sleeper-ness (is this a word?) and they were up until 10:30 last night so by my calculation they will sleep for approximately 9 more minutes. In fact, I am quite confident that I will have to stop typing before very long and finish this post tonight, but for now I am enjoying the quiet. Santa has left his loot under the tree and filled the stockings and the living room looks so nice and peaceful, before the rush of the kids and the wrapping paper and those infernal bits of plastic that keep everything tied into place in their packaging. It is nice to just gaze upon it and take a moment to heave a sigh. Another year done, the shopping and wrapping and scouting for deals. The delving into the kids little minds to figure out which of the "I want that!"'s were important and which would be forgotten by the time the commercial was over. Buying for everyone and feeling that I found things that people would appreciate. More important, actually getting the chance to visit and spend time with everyone and enjoy all the hard work.

So now I have coffee brewing and cinnamon buns to pop into the oven. My brother slept over last night so he would be able to enjoy Christmas morning with us, so I'm sure he will be thrilled in 9 minutes when the kids wake him up. It is quiet and nice and I am looking forward to seeing the kids excitement and spending the day with the family, eating and drinking and being together.

Fast forward 12 hours later and here I am, almost 9 pm. The kids DID wake up right around 9 minutes in and the peace and quiet was gone gone gone. Oh and those delish cinnamon buns? I put them in and then we started unwrapping and I didn't check them and they burnt. I was really quite bummed. Then it was off to my cousin's for a great family day and now we are home. I'm tired but content, everything is unwrapped and it looks like a toy store blew up and we have trash piling up. Cardboard boxes and wires and ties, plastic everywhere. WHY do toys come packaged as if they will make a great escape if not fastened in by 43 pieces of wire? Why?

Ahhhh, big sigh. Merry Christmas everyone, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!

Proud Taekwondo Mama

2009-12-21T14:06:00.027-05:00

Jack started Taekwondo almost 1 year ago. Actually, he started at the end of January last year because I thought it would be good for him to (a) learn some discipline and (b) get some exercise. I have to say that I am quite pleased with it on both counts, although while he listens wonderfully to his Taekwondo Instructor, I am still waiting for some of it to rub off on the home front. I am keeping my fingers crossed it will happen in time. Also, in the last 6 months he has actually lost 1 pound and grown 1 1/2 inches, and his doctor was very pleased. She was getting a little worried considering from the ages of 4 - 5 he gained 11 pounds, from 5 - 6 he gained 17 pounds and from 6 - 7 he gained another 10. This seemed to be a pattern that would put Jack at about 200 pounds by the 5th grade, so hopefully the Taekwondo and (slightly) better eating habits will continue to pay off. When we first started I remember thinking that he would never be able to learn all the moves, kicks, blocks, punches, and forms it would take to advance very far. Most of these moves are too difficult for even me to try to attempt, and the forms consist of a series of moves much like a dance that to me all look the same. But learn them he has. After only a couple of months he tested for his Orange Belt and we were quite impressed.

Then Summer came and he achieved his Yellow Belt.

Then he went for his Yellow Stripe.

Just this last Friday night, his achieved his Green. This was an exceptionally difficult test for all the kids (and adults), with the entire test board sitting for it and quite a bit of pressure. But they all did wonderful, although I spent the almost entire 2 1/2 hours sitting on my hands, with my feet icy cold with fear and feeling very, very nervous (you would have thought it was me out there attempting forms and snap front jump kicks).

Five belts in and he has learned so much and grown up so much and stuck with it, and we are truly proud.

Also, in case you missed it, look below or click here to see the details for my first ever contest. Don't forget to leave a comment telling me your favorite Holiday song for your chance to win a Dunkin Donuts card.

There When I Need Him

2009-12-18T13:35:00.011-05:00

For all the bitching I do about my husband (well, not so much on this blog but plenty in real life) he really was there for me this morning. After I got Jack off to the bus stop I must not have closed the van door all the way because half an hour later when Abbey and I hurried and scurried and ran outside in the 4 degree air it would not start. Dead battery. With mounting aggravation because really, who needs THAT first thing in the morning, I got Abbey out of the 4 degree weather and back into the house. I figured I would have to kick at Dennis because he was dead asleep to the world and DETESTS and HATES and LOATHES getting up, but lo and behold he was already downstairs and on his way out the door. "I heard" he mumbled and went out into the cold to jump start the car. He didn't even give me a sideways look or a disgusted sigh when I admitted that I may have left the door open which could have drained the battery. Within 6 minutes we were on our way and later, when I warmed up, I realized what a disaster it could have been. If he didn't work 2nd shift and wasn't home, what would I have done? Called AAA (which I don't have)? Called a neighbor (who would be at work)? Flagged down the first car that drove by? All of these options were much worse than the reality, which was I stood in the warm house drinking coffee and watched my husband do his car thing. So he gets points for this morning, points that were subtracted when he wouldn't put Christmas lights on the outside of the house. And if you are asking, yes, I am keeping track of these points.

On another note, it is time for Napkin's first ever contest. I tried to think up a clever and extraordinary way to pick a winner, but my brain is tired from Christmas and Holiday paraphanalia so I will have to keep it simple. Leave a comment on this post telling me what your most favorite Holiday song is and I will randomly at random on a random day at a random time pick a winner out of a random hat. In case you were wondering, the kids and my favorite song of the moment is "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas." I'll give everyone about a week to leave their comment, since I am pretty sure that checking on my blog is not on everyone's daily checklist of things to get done!

A Bit Of A Milestone

2009-12-15T13:18:00.003-05:00

Try not to faint at the fact that I am posting 2 days in a row. I just wanted to throw something out there acknowledging a little bit of a milestone. Nothing huge mind you, or life shattering, but I just noticed on my handy dandy little statistical counter that I have now had over 10,000 hits on this site. That is not to say and please don't be confused and think that I have 10,000 READERS (whoa, how cool would that be?) but merely 10,000 hits. Which means after you subtract the 8,345 times I personally have clicked onto my blog, I had quite a few devoted readers following along. So thank you devoted readers. Maybe I will have some sort of contest to commemorate this auspicious occasion. Yes, a contest. Stay tuned for me to come up with one. I can't make any promises but a Dunkin' Donuts gift card may be up for grabs.

Ice-iversary

2009-12-14T14:23:00.008-05:00

Over the past week and a half there have been so many times that I have thought of a good blog post, but they never made it onto the computer. Like the day I felt like the only thing I ate was the bits and pieces of the kids food. Crusts of toast for breakfast. Crusts of ham and cheese for lunch. Leftover cold french fries and congealed mac and cheese for dinner. Then I almost posted about Abbey getting her five year immunizations. 4 shots, lots of crying and screaming resulting in a 102 degree temp and a day home from school the next day. Then I was going to blog about our Tumpka Timpka elf on a shelf and how already she has "forgotten" to leave our house and come back to a new spot the next day. This was subsequently blamed on the fact that Jack got a little bit too close to her the day before, and a bit of her magic disappeared for about 24 hours. So many times I have sat down at the computer and then been called away to do other things. Christmas things, party things, kid things, house things. Things. We even passed over the 1 year anniversary of the Ice Storm of 2008 without me blogging about it. The anniversary was actually last Thursday night into Friday morning since the storm itself raged through the night. In case you are new to my blog, or maybe you forgot and would love to relive it with me, you can read about our adventures in ice here and also here and here a see some lovely pictures here and also some more here. This Saturday the 19th is the actual anniversary of when the pipes burst rendering us homeless and rootless for a while until we moved into the comfort of that oh so lovely trailer in the yard. Oh brown paneled trailer of fun, how I do NOT miss you. Well hasn't this been a wonderful trip down memory lane! At least I can say that all of that madness from last year did result in new floors, new walls, new cabinets, some new furniture, and a new found appreciation for our HOME. All these many months later, it is still GOOD TO BE HOME!

Tis' The Season

2009-12-03T11:50:00.007-05:00

Well, it's here, it's here, it's here! Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming! I LOVE Christmas, always have. The whole season. When I was a kid the thought of getting presents, having my whole family together, eating delicious food, well it was almost too much to bear. Now that I am an adult I still look forward to Christmas with as much excitement. There are family get together’s, presents exchanged, and of course delicious food to be eaten. I get so excited when I think of what will become my own kids Christmas memories. Will it be putting up the decorations and the tree? Making cookies? Visiting with Santa? Going to Mass on Christmas Eve? This year we even decorated a gingerbread house, which was kind of messy and a pain so we may not do that again. December 1st marked the beginning of the countdown for us, the countdown to the big guy. The kids have a calendar that they do every night, adding felt ornaments from little numbered pockets to the tree. Then they get to open up their Advent calendar that they get every year from Grammy and eat their little tiny piece of chocolate. Last year after the ice storm when we had to evacuate the house to spend Christmas at my parents I remember running through the dark and the cold, and 2 things I was sure to grab were that felt Christmas tree and their Advent calendars. Last year at my parents we also started a new tradition. Each day we are visited by Timpka Tumpka. This is a little Swedish elf like gnome that is much like the "Elf On A Shelf" that is popular. Timpka visits Santa in the North Pole every night while the kids are asleep to report on their daily behavior. Of course each morning you will find Timpka in a new spot. I have no idea how he does it!

So however you begin your Holiday Season, I am right now wishing it to be merry and warm and bright. You really do have to spend the whole month celebrating, because 1 day? Nope, not nearly enough time to get it all in.

A Hunting They Will Go!

2009-11-30T10:44:00.005-05:00

I think that some sort of hunting season started today. Or maybe it has been going on for a while and I just noticed it. This morning at the gas station there were about 5 guys sitting around having coffee in their hunting clothes. Camouflage and BRIGHT orange vests. I don't really understand the logic in these ensembles. I get that you wear camo so that you blend into your surroundings, but then you put on bright orange so that you are not accidentally shot by a fellow hunter. So if you are going to wear bright orange, why wear the camo at all? You are not blending in, so what's the point? I have lived in the woods for 8 years now, and since that first winter I started to notice this odd phenomenon of trucks parked randomly on the side of the road. It took me a while to figure out (well, finally Dennis told me) that these vehicles which I previously thought were all broken down are really hunters. That does make more sense, I mean, how could ALL of these trucks and SUV's be broken down at the same time? At first I thought we could be in danger, I mean, some of these cars are parked VERY close to where we live, and I was picturing bullets zinging through our backyard. Luckily this has not happened. I guess they venture deep into the woods to do their killin'? Who knows. All I can tell you is that while I am not necessarily "for" the senseless killing of animals per se, I don't find too much wrong with the hunting in my town. I am pretty sure by the looks of these guys that they don't just hunt for fun. I mean, I think if they ever actually get anything, they are going to be cooking it and stewin' it and eating it up. Luckily for all the wildlife about, I have never, ever, ever in all of these 8 years actually seen a hunter emerge from the woods with a dead animal. I have never seen a dead deer tied to the roof of a truck. So either these hunters are really really bad at it, or the animals are really really lucky.

Thankful

2009-11-26T09:11:00.007-05:00

When you have children I fully believe that a piece of your heart leaves your chest and lives outside of you, and it is so hard to have a piece of you outside of your body. It should be inside of you, safe and sound, but instead it is walking around out there, living its own life. On this Thanksgiving I am thankful that the little pieces of my heart are right by my side, snuggling on the couch watching the parade, sleeping in bed with their eyes half open, requiring all items from Thanksgiving dinner be separated and not touching each other on the plate. These little pieces of my heart take all my energy, all my strength, so much of my love, and I am thankful. I know that there are too many parents out there who have pieces of their heart scattered all over the globe, or pieces of their heart gone altogether, and when that happens I don't know how you breathe. So today I will remember even more that I am thankful for my children, and my husband and my entire family and my life. I am thankful for our health, our house, our jobs. I am thankful for that crusty part of the stuffing that hangs out of the turkey's butt. Yum, that's good stuff.

My Birthday Girl

2009-11-24T20:13:00.013-05:00

Abbey turned 5 on Sunday. 5! I can't believe it. It really does feel like it was only yesterday that I checked into the hospital on that dark Sunday night in November, only to be told that although I was sure I was ready to deliver any moment that I was only 2 centimeters dilated and that I should walk around the hospital to get things moving. So that is what Dennis and I did, we walked around the deserted and quiet Medical Center, while I periodically clutched at my stomach and leaned against walls. Eventually of course she was born, at 9:23 am the next day. I spent the night laboring and watching old reruns of Wings on Nick At Nite. Remember that show? I still remember laboring all night with Jack watching C.H.I.P.S. To this day I can't hear that theme song or see Ponch or John without feeling uncomfortable and remembering pain. I also remembered very well that I wasn't able to get an epidural with Jack (too fast, no time) so I made sure I had time with Abbey. Every new nurse that came in I would say "Hi, nice to meet you. I am having an epidural." And then someone else would come in and I would say "Hi, I'm Kirsten, I'm having an epidural." I would even ask if they had it written down on the chart, just be sure.

But that is all far in the past now, and she is 5. She had a fun gymnastics party on Saturday to celebrate, with 12 kids. Then we went out to dinner with my sister & brother in law and their kids. Abbey and her cousin Shannon are only 7 days apart (Shannon being 7 days older which already she doesn't let Abbey forget) and they are best friends. I must say that its nice to have a 7 and a 5 year old. I feel like those ages are completely manageable. Well, most days. Some days. She is so five already though, so grown up. She always had been. Jack asked if that meant she would start kindergarten on Monday. Oh, I wish!

We gave her the Dora Links doll for her birthday, the new "teenage" Dora version for the 5 and older set. She is great, she hooks up to the computer and Abbey can navigate this whole online Dora world and solve mysteries, play games. And she can change her doll Dora too, along with the one on the screen. Make her eyes change color, change the color of her jewelry. And the doll talks. Its a little unnerving because you don't know exactly when she is going to talk. She's just a lifeless doll and then all of a sudden, "Hola!" she says to you. She scared the crap out of me Sunday night while I was spending HOURS downloading the content onto the computer. This is my only complaint about the Dora Links doll. It took FOREVER for the stuff to load onto the computer. I tried Sunday morning and it was taking so long that I thought it was malfunctioning, so I un-installed the program and started again. Then we had to leave to go to my parents for dinner so I stopped it again. Sunday night after the kids went to bed I told Dennis "I'm loading this bitch tonight if its the last thing I do!" and it took over 2 hours to get all installed. 2 hours!! Parents need to know this for Christmas. If they want their darling daughters to wake up Christmas morning, open Dora and start playing right away they need to install her well in advance.

There she is, my little pip. Happy with Dora. Not really sure what "pip" means but I think it's British and I am quite confident that it fits Abigail to a tee.

So I have a 7 and a 5 year old. How cool it that?

7 Foods You Had No Idea About

2009-11-19T13:46:00.014-05:00

Here's a tip, when you tell Kai-Lan on t.v. to use the brain in her giant over sized head to answer her own damn questions, that means you need to eat lunch because you are obviously getting cranky. Luckily I heated up a panini mighty quick before I started swearing at the little sprite. Then I was perusing the computer and came across these ominous words: "7 Foods That Should Never Cross Your Lips." Not that you shouldn't even just eat, but that should never even come in contact with your lips! I thought to myself, "it is probably stuff people don't ever eat anyway, like ammonia or peroxide" and decided to check it out. This, ladies and gentlemen, are the 7 foods you should never eat. I mean never, don't even think about it you might as well just throw yourself in front of a bus right now because you are going to die if you eat any of these things list:

1. Canned Tomatoes. Ummm, yup. I'm pretty sure I didn't see this one coming right off the bat. Something about a chemical in them is really bad for you? Good thing I'm not adding these to anything I cook, right?

2. Corn-Fed Beef. I personally have no idea what the beef I buy eats. I get it in the grocery store, in the beef section, and it doesn't say what kind of diet the aforementioned cow had. Upon further reading though the article says that you should get grass-fed beef, which you can find at Farmers Markets. Since I have never bought any meat at a farmers market, and am pretty sure that we don't even have farmers markets around here (especially in the winter!), we are screwed on the beef front, best to just stick with chicken.

3. Microwave Popcorn. Damn. We are in trouble.

4. Non-Organic Potatoes. Pretty sure this counts that flaky kind that comes in a box or a pouch.

5. Farmed Salmon. Phew, we hardly ever eat fish, unless it is in the form of a stick, so we are all set here.

6. Milk produced with artificial hormones. OK, so maybe I just grab whatever milk is the least expensive and is 1%. Then I read you should buy Walmart's Great Value brand milk, because they don't use something called rBGH. I totally buy Walmart milk. All the time. Phew. I am a good mother.

7. Conventional (meaning non-organic) Apples. Apples. As in an apple a day . . . blah blah blah.

So I have to go now. I'm going to go and munch on an apple while heating up some microwave popcorn for the kids for a snack, to hold them over until their dinner of fish sticks and boxed instant mashed potatoes is cooked. Don't worry, I'll make sure they drink their milk.

Is It or Isn't It?

2009-11-11T14:34:00.005-05:00

Jack came down with a high fever and cough and headache on Saturday and was down for the count for about 24 hours. By Monday morning he was up and about, playing video games and running around outside, but I kept him home anyway due to that whole "24 hour fever-free" rule for school. By mid-afternoon the buzz on Facebook was that SO many kids were out sick at our elementary school and so many more were sent home that they were actually cancelling school for Tuesday. No one knew what everyone had, although their symptoms were similar. Everyone seemed to have flu-like symptoms, but some of the kids were only sick for a day or 2, which seemed to be too short to be considered H1N1. Still, school was cancelled because they had over a 30% absentee rate, so Jack had yet another day off from school. Today is Veteran's Day so he is off also, making him pretty much forget what going to school is like. It felt odd, like our town was that doomed town from the movie "Outbreak" that they want to bomb to stop the spread of the virus. Everyone I knew had someone sick in their house. Our local WalMart ran out of Children's Motrin. It was freaky and crazy. One of my friends had to bring her daughter who is the same age as Abbey to the ER in the middle of the night because her fever was so high and she was having trouble breathing. Now its getting scary and too close for comfort. On Monday afternoon Abbey started feeling icky. Slight temp, no appetite. By Monday night at 3 am she was BURNING UP! 104 temp. It was scary. Tuesday she was the same, high temp, aches, "tummy" ache. Last night her temp rose up up and away again, to almost 104. I was wiping her down with cool washcloths and giving her ice water, sitting up with her listening to her breathe. It was a long night. This morning her fever seemed to break, and she has had a normal temp ever since. Ate bacon and eggs AND a sandwich. So now I am totally and completely confused and filled with uncertainty and questions. If she was sick for about 2 days total I wonder, was that H1N1? It certainly seemed severe enough at 2 am to be it, although then is that what Jack had too? Because he didn't really seem that sick at all, and if he had H1N1 then it must have been a mild version of it. So have they had it? Is it over? Or maybe its not done and they are going to relapse? Should I not get them the vaccine if and when it ever becomes available? Because they already had it? Or did they? Or was it something different? Am I going to get it now? Will we be able to go to this wedding we have scheduled for Friday night? The wedding where we have a hotel room, I bought a new dress and the kids are staying at my cousins? Will we? Will we? Stay tuned, only time will tell.

Still Kickin'

2009-11-06T13:08:00.004-05:00

Just a little note to let you know that yes, I am still around. I have thought about blogging a lot in the last week. A few times I have even sat down to write out my thoughts, but then something happened/someone needed something from me, or we had somewhere we had to go to immediately and it fell by the wayside. Tomorrow is the last day of soccer for both kids and Sunday is the last day of Jack's CCD classes (for now) so I am hoping to feel less stressed and crazy soon. We'll still have activities but they shouldn't be so, overlapping. I am getting slightly worried about this whole H1N1 thing. My town is dropping hard. Tons of kids out of school and more getting sent home everyday. Our pediatrician did not have any vaccines available so we are pretty much out there blowing in the wind, susceptible to all germs that come our way. My fear is that once one member of the family comes down with it it will just spread through the house like wildfire. And since it seems to last at least 5 days, and then you have to wait 24 hours fever free to go back to school/work, I am thinking it could seem never ending. If the kids get it back to back and then I get it, I could be out of commission, quarantined in the house for by my approximation up to 3 weeks. That's a damn long time. Never mind the fact that from what I hear it just sucks. Fever and aches and pains and all this other stuff that I am in no way wanting to go through, and I sure as hell don't want the kids to have to go through.

Oh well, I can't worry about this right now, because as you know we are very busy.

Quick, HURRY!

2009-10-28T11:32:00.003-04:00

Hurry hurry, rush rush. At times I feel like my life is in a constant state of frantic-ness. (Is this a word? It should be). Between work and the kids schedules I feel like I am always running, running somewhere and always late late late. ALWAYS late. If the kids had ever seen Alice in Wonderland they would surely decide that I was like that rabbit with the hat jumping up and down constantly whining in that weird voice, "come on, we're late, we're late, for a very important date." Jack has taekwondo twice a week and Abbey has dance once and they both are in soccer which involves 1 practice and 1 game each a week, plus appointments and this week Cub Scouts start (slightly overlapping the soccer season which is a pain in the butt). Jack has had CCD every Sunday morning at 8:30 a.m. all month long which coupled with 9 a.m. soccer games on Saturday mornings pretty much eats up any chance of sleeping in every single weekend of our life. Now it is Halloween which involves oodles of different parties which involve cookies and treats made by moi' and costumes and makeup and, oh. Enough already. Some may ask "where is your husband in all this? Can't he help out?" and the answer unfortunately is no. He works now and has worked forever a 12 p.m. - 8 p.m. shift which gets him home every night at around 8:45 p.m. AFTER all activities. AFTER all appointments. AFTER dinner. AFTER homework. AFTER showers. AFTER reading books. AFTER bedtime. AFTER all this crap which I have run around doing all day long by myself. Although it is not crap. It is mostly fun stuff that I wouldn't deny the kids doing at all. And I don't despise it. I see lots and lots of other people throughout all these travels and we hang out together and many laughs are had. The kids have fun. They make goals and pirouette's and front roundhouse jump kicks like pro's. I like having a schedule and I like that we are busy. I just wish at times that there were just a few more hours in the day to fit it all. But that's not true either, I'm tired enough by the end of the day as it is. Add more hours and I might collapse.

Listening Ears

2009-10-21T13:14:00.010-04:00

How many times have we told our children to put on their listening ears? I bet hundreds. I bet hundreds of thousands. I know I have. Unfortunately most of the time these elusive special ears seem to be M.I.A. Perhaps they are hidden in the toy box, or are collecting dust under their beds? I'm not quite sure, I just know that when they really need them, they are usually hard to find. What I have realized lately is that I have to remind myself to put on my own listening ears. So often I find myself nodding vaguely, mumbling "uh huh, yeah" to whatever the children have just asked me. Is it the persistent "mom, mom, mom, mom, mom" that we hear minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day that causes us to eventually tune it out. I yell at the kids when they ignore me, but I find myself ignoring them just as much.

"Mom, can we tie sheets onto ourselves and jump off the roof" they might be asking, while I peruse Facebook, talk on the phone, balance the checkbook and check the e-mail all at the same time. "Uh huh, OK, sure." I'll answer. "Mom, can we build a sparkly helium balloon and take off in it across the town?" they'll ask and I'll probably answer "uh, huh, just a minute" while I unload the dishwasher, fold laundry and start dinner. One of these days I'm going to get in trouble, if I don't find my damn listening ears.

I can hear it now. "Mom, can we take the car and joyride around town driving way too fast picking up all our friends?"

No, then again, I think THAT is one request I'll most definitely hear.

Superior Scribbler

2009-10-19T11:49:00.010-04:00

A few days ago I received an award, and not just any award. It is this, the coveted and renowned "Superior Scribbler" Award.

What? You've never heard of it? Well, I assure you that it is a most fancy and prestigious award in the blogging community, and actually, the blogging world. Yes, I said the whole WORLD! My good bloggy friend Lindy over at Future Blackmail bestowed it upon me, with some incredibly complicated rules that I could not follow and/or understand, so I am simply going to post it here so that you can revel in my award-receiving-ness. Also, you should go check out Lindy's blog. Although we have never met in person, she is an extremely talented writer and if we were to live closer to each other I'm sure we would hang out, even though I like Dunkin Donuts Coffee and she is a Starbucks ADDICT. Really, I think she might need a 12-step program. Despite of this obvious difference, our joint love of all things neat and tidy, as well as a compulsive fridge magnet organization disorder, would seal our bond.

Freaky Snow

2009-10-18T16:42:00.006-04:00

I know, I know, I haven't posted in FOREVER. I'm sorry. Well, not super duper sorry. I know everyone has been fine without having new posts to read, but still, I'm a little sorry. And today's post is actually going to be pretty lame and short. I just have to share, that IT IS SNOWING. It is October 18th, and it is full on snowing. It's wrong and weird and I think slightly foreboding. If it is snowing now, on October 18th, what will it be like on January 18th? It makes me a little nervous, I mean, I don't want to live in a trailer again! Dennis has been telling me that this is going to be one of the top 10 winters on record (where he gets this information, I have no idea) and I haven't wanted to believe him. Mostly I thought he was just using this as an excuse to stop (1) cutting his hair and (2) shaving. He does this every year, usually starting around Thanksgiving, so that he can "keep warm." I mean really. Does facial hair keep you that much more warm and toasty? Regardless, this year he stopped the whole shaving/cutting thing on October 1st, due to the aforementioned "coldest winter on history" theory. A theory that I guffawed at. A theory that I am now frightened may actually be true. I still wish he would shave though. By Christmas he is going to look like a freakin mountain man of the north.

But back to the point of my post. Snowing. In October. Next year when is it going to start? Are the kids someday soon going to have snow for the first day of school for goodness sakes? Oh well, you know you live in New England when your "Fall" grouping of pictures includes both kids in bathing suits AND in snowsuits.

A Great Privilege

2009-10-08T19:38:00.005-04:00

Recently in New Hampshire, in a small quiet town, on a quiet rural road (not at all unlike my own) a mother was brutally killed in her bed. Her 11 year old daughter was critically hurt. Four teenage boys did it, for no other reason it seems than just to kill and rob. Suffice it to say, our door is now locked 24/7, but it still shakes you to the core. It makes you realize how quickly something horrid and awful can happen in a second. Yesterday on Oprah (yes, I do watch Oprah most afternoons, while going through the backpacks and starting dinner - I love my kitchen t.v.) they had mothers who had survived unbeatable odds to remain alive. The resounding message, and one that really resonated with me, is that it is a privilege to raise your children. It is a privilege to make their lunches, give them showers, read them stories and tuck them into bed. It is a privilege to make them dinner and do any of the other countless things you do throughout the day for them. It is a privilege to hold their bodies close to you and smell their scents. It is a privilege to be their mothers. In our day to day lives these chores almost seem to become tedious tasks that can threaten to overwhelm us, and believe me it can be overwhelming, but I want all of the mothers (and fathers if any of you happen to be reading) to realize that we have been given a gift, and gift that can be taken away without a seconds notice. So lets just realize what a real gift it is, and what a privilege we have been granted.

Everyday Math

2009-10-07T11:39:00.014-04:00

Have you every heard about Everyday Math? If you have kids between kindergarten and sixth grade you certainly have. Now when kids get to school they all learn this Everyday Math system. This was created in Chicago by some math people who decided that the old way in which we ourselves learned to do math in our youth was totally wrong and made us all grow up to be idiots that couldn't add 2 and 2 or divide properly. (I am not 100% positive that is why Everyday Math was invented but I think it may be the reason given.) This math is not at all the same as the math I did when I was a kid. I mean, I did math every day, but not Everyday Math. It doesn't seem to be the same at all. Whereas we added 2 of the same numbers, i.e., 2 + 2 = 4, Jack now does "Doubles Facts" which sounds more exciting and like a fun game but is still just adding 2 identical numbers together. They have "units" and "frames-and-arrows" and "number triangles". In this triangle there are 3 numbers and the biggest one is on the top and it has a little dot next to it. What? A little dot? They have "rules" that I am not quite sure of and haven't really investigated properly at all. Last week he had to make up "numbers stories" which was basically a word problem but with a different name. I'm so confused. And this is SECOND GRADE people! S-E-C-O-N-D G-R-A-D-E. The funny part is that Jack gets it. He understands completely what is going on with this math (I hope it stays that way!). He is explaining to me how to do his homework, rather than the other way around. I hear that once he gets past the 6th grade though they just abandon this Everyday Math and go back to regular math. Then he will have to re-learn, and I think I may be as equally useless because I have no recollection of math from that time frame either. Is that when you start geometry? I have a vague recollection of being good at that. Or was that algebra? I would say his father could help, but he is worse at math than I am. His senior year of high school his teacher actually gave him a D rather than an F just so that he would graduate and get the hell out of there.

Contentment Smells Like A Meatloaf

2009-10-04T19:02:00.010-04:00

What a nice weekend we had around here. Not busy, just nice. As you may know we have been going and going for what seems like 25 weekends in a row, and although I had a great time away with my cousins and last weekend at Storyland was a blast, it was nice to just do much of nothing. It felt even better after the hectic week we had (aren't they all?) and me not feeling that well for most of it. I still have a hacky cough and a bit of a cold, but just being able to be home, it felt wonderful. Jack ended up having a soccer game yesterday morning, despite the rain, but even that was OK. I am proud to tell you that he was the only one on his team to make a goal. Sure, he may have made it to the wrong goal and inadvertently given a point to the other team, but we didn't focus on that fact. Coming home, wet and cold, to a nice warm house felt so unbelievably cozy. Dennis started a fire. We all put on our sweats and settled in for the day. The best part was that it wasn't even noon yet! I went through clothes, organized stuff (one of my favorite past times), the kids played together for hours, Dennis took a nap on the couch in front of the fire. I watched all FOUR hours of the Lifetime t.v. movie Maneater, in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY. We had egg sandwiches for dinner. Today Jack had his first CCD class for Reconciliation (that's when you learn about forgiveness and confession for us Catholics) and we went to mass together. We met Dennis and Abbey for breakfast out and then came home to put out pumpkins and fall decorations. Dennis fixed the tractor with pieces he pulled out of this old bike we had laying around (yes, he is quite Macgyver-y that way), the kids played around and even put rocks around Max's grave site and added more flowers. For dinner I made the first meatloaf of the season, with corn on the cob and mashed potatoes. And now, at a mere 7:13 the kids are bathed and in Jammie's and watching a little t.v. before bed, and I'm just, blogging. It feels good. I don't know, there's just something about the crisp fall air and the smell of meatloaf that makes me feel content.

A Mess

2009-10-01T12:57:00.003-04:00

Have you ever heard that Laurie Berkner song? It goes, "I'm a mess, I'm a mess, I'm a big ole' messy mess." Well, that's how I feel today. A mess. I am sneezing, coughing, tired and blah. My throat hurts. My voice is shot. I am an incubus of germs and snot. Just wanted to share that. What? Too much information?

Storyland, Revisited

2009-09-30T13:38:00.011-04:00

Some of you may remember that last year was our first annual trip to Storyland with all of my friends from college. If you feel so inclined you can read all about it here. Well, this last weekend was our second annual trip and the kids loved it just as much as last year, it held all the same magic. The Old Lady In The Shoe, The 3 Little Pigs, hanging out in the pumpkin and watching the dancing elf inside of the magic tree were just as exciting as before. The only downside's of the trip was that it was a 3 1/2 hour drive, and Dennis couldn't make it. My friend Pam and I rode together (due to a work issue she was also husband-less) so that helped. Dennis was sorely missed, but the weekend happened to coincide with his yearly boy's weekend at the trailer (much like my cousin/sister weekend of last). If I had asked he would have skipped it to ride in a whirling turtle and stand in line for 30 minutes to ride in an antique car, but I didn't ask him. After all, I have not 1 but 2 weekends a year away, so he does deserve his 1. All of my other friends were there and we banded together to keep an eye on all of the kids (13 in all!) and we had a great time. I must admit that 13 kids made for seriously not very controlled chaos, and damn! those kids get up E.A.R.L.Y. Sometimes on the weekends my kids will sleep until 9, which I realize is most unusual. But to start getting up at 5:57! 5:57 a.m.! Insanity! Jack said to me "what time is it?" and when I told him it was only about 6:15 in the morning he replied "These kids are crazy! What are they doing up at this hour?" Abbey simply grunted, dug deeper into her blanket and announced that we should all just go back to sleep. Sure, easier said than done. It sounded like a preschool downstairs by 6:30 a.m. and there was no more sleeping to be had (even though the adults had been up until 1 a.m. or so, ummm, talking). In all I ended the weekend exhausted, my face broken out from the foreign water, and fighting a nasty cold. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Seeing everyone again is like traveling back 15 years in time, except now we look around and say to each other "where the hell did all these kids come from?"

Much Needed Me Time

2009-09-21T10:44:00.012-04:00

This weekend I went away to the lake for my annual cousin/sister weekend (with me being the sole cousin to the 3 sisters). This year my aunt also drove up with a wonderful friend from Florida to surprise one of my cousin's who turns 40 today. (In reality she doesn't even look remotely near 40. She just did a triathlon and according to Craig, our sexy waiter at Margarita's, she looks 24. I think he was pushing it a little bit with that answer). So,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHY - you don't look a day over 33!

Since my aunt was coming my mother was able to come up for a night too, turning it into the Annual Cousin/Sister/Aunt weekend. Anyhoo, we had a fabulous time getting manicures and pedicures, drinking and eating (and eating and eating and eating - must start diet!) and shopping. I found fabulously comfy gray pants from EMS at a consignment shop for $4 (yes! $4!) and I bought 4 pairs of shoes which pretty much doubled the amount of shoes I now have for winter wear. This weekend away from reality came at a perfect time, since I was still feeling sad after losing Max last week, and we were all worrying about my dear grandmother who took a bad fall and is in the hospital. She is doing good though, and on the mend. So away I went, and the kids were so happy to see me go, which is slightly disheartening. It's not that I want them to cry and scream and cling to my legs, but they don't need to be doing happy dances as I pull out of the driveway either. They LOVE having weekends just with Daddy. On Friday on the way to school I reminded Abbey that I was going away and she said "yay!" and I asked her why she was so happy about that. She answered "I can't tell you, it's a secret." To which I replied "is it that Daddy lets you eat lots of junk, doesn't make you brush your teeth and lets you stay up as late as you want?" to which she answered "awww, who told you?"

Goodbye Good Dog

2009-09-16T11:20:00.025-04:00

12 years, 2 months and 2 days. That is how old our dog Max was when we put him to sleep yesterday. The average life span for a dog his size is 8 - 10 years, so I have to say that the old boy had a good long life. As a family we were prepared for this day, and knew that it would be coming sooner rather than later, but still, when it actually happened, it brought me to my knees. He has been fine, really. Getting older and slower of course, but still running around. I knew something was wrong this weekend when I realized that he didn't seem to be drinking his water very much, but he was still eating good, so I was only mildly concerned. Monday night he came downstairs to greet me and the kids and when he hit the dining room his back legs just seemed to go out. He yelped and cried and laid down, and couldn't move. Couldn't walk. We took him to the vet yesterday and she said he probably had a stroke, or it could be a tumor pushing on his spine. We made the decision that the time had come to put him down. I'm sure we could have tried some medicine or surgery, but come on, he's 12. We knew anything we did would give him only a few extra months, if that. We had told the kids the night before that although the vet would try to fix the dog that it might not be possible. Jack took some extra time saying goodbye to him before school, and when Abbey knelt down to say goodbye before heading off to Oma's she whispered "bye Max, good luck at the vet, I hope you don't have to get a shot to get dead." When we told them yesterday afternoon that he was gone they were upset, although Abbey was quite quick to ask when we were going to get a puppy to play fetch with (ummm, NEVER!). They visited the grave Dennis had dug in the backyard (yes, we buried him in the yard, my husband weeping while digging the hole, me weeping inside vacuuming up all the dog hair). We put flowers on it and then the kids seemed OK. Being older, Jack took it harder than Abbey. She wanted to know when it was time to go to dance class, he said he was very sad and really needed to have a snack and watch some TV. Surprisingly, they actually seemed more upset last year when the fish died (which if you forgot about can read about here). I think they might be in a little bit of shock, and as time wears on they may miss him more. Or maybe not.

I think that Dennis will take losing him the hardest, since Max was primarily "his" dog. When we married almost 10 years ago Max was already a 2 year old, having spent his nights sleeping next to Dennis in a big bed with his head on the adjoining pillow. In comes me and swiftly puts an end to that ridiculousness. So he was delegated to the end of the bed, and then kids came along and after a while he reluctantly gave up trying to get comfortable with so many in the bed and moved to the floor. I used to joke that once the kids were born I thought he needed doggie prozac, since at times he seemed depressed that he had to share his Dennis with us. But he learned to adjust, and I believe he had a good life with us. He actually was quite lucky. Once when he was about 4 or so we were at my parents house for some sort of get together and had brought him along. We put him in my brother's room on the second floor and shut the door, and after a little while someone came to the door. "Should I let Max in" they asked. "What?" we said. "Max isn't outside, he's in Matt's room upstairs." But sure enough, there was Max standing outside, tail wagging, tounge panting. When we went upstairs to check the door was still closed. Going inside we realized that the window (which was at the same level as the bed he was laying on) was opened. We think he probably saw a squirell in the tree outside and jumped. He must have come down through the tree branches to break his fall, because he was FINE. Not hurt at all. Later on my poor grandmother admitted that she saw the dog go by through the window, but thought that perhaps she was having some sort of hallucination and didn't want to tell anyone!

So goodbye good boy. We are going to miss you. 12 years, 2 months and 2 days. Quite a nice long life for a dog. Yes indeed.

All Things Are Not Created Equal

2009-09-14T14:24:00.001-04:00

Everyone knows that you love your children equally, of course you do. You love them exactly the same amount, but that is not to say that you always "like" them the same amount. I believe that the "liking" part sort of ebbs and flows over time. Sometimes they are pretty cool, other times, your worst nightmare, and still other times they are somewhere in between. Lately Jack has been accusing me of "hating" him. It breaks my heart to write that, hate is such a strong emotion and a strong word and to think my child feels that I feel that way about him is profoundly sad and wrong. But then I have to snap out of it and put his definition of the word "hate" into context. He routinely tells me he hates me, hates his sister, hates his father. He also hates vegetables, hates getting up for school. He hates bedtime, hates when his toys break, hates when he is cold, hates when he is hot. Basically he is a very black and white kid. I've mentioned before, for Jack it is either "the best day of his life" or "the worst day of his life" and there seems to be no middle ground. I have been working on explaining to him that hate is not a good word to use, that I know he doesn't actually hate us, even when he says he does (although some vegetables, like say, peas, yup, he really, really hates them).

So why such does he have such feelings of being disliked by me? Well, to put it simply, his sister is just generally better behaved than him. I'm not sure if this is true for all girls, or if it's just my kids. For example (and this is just 1 example of which there are dozens just like it), last Wednesday night after soccer practice, I let them have about 20 minutes in the playground. I warned them both before and during and over and over again that if they did not leave when I said it was time they would lose t.v. and computer privileges for the rest of that night (which after practice and a shower boils down to about 30 minutes). Although he is getting better, slightly better, Jack still has a tendency of, how shall I put it, not handling activities ending well. When he was younger the end of a play date was treated as if his entire world was crashing down. I've had to drag him kicking and screaming out of friends houses, movie theaters, toy stores, libraries, and of course the biggest culprit of them all, playgrounds. But he's 7 now. It should be getting better, right? Well it's not! This particular night I had to drag him, yes readers, DRAG this not very tiny 7 year old by his arm through the stones on the ground all the way out of the gate. On the other hand, Abbey walked out on her own after I said it was time to go. So do you know what happened? Well, he lost privileges and his sister didn't. This resulted in the never ending accusations that I love Abbey more, while I hate him and am always yelling at him. How can I not YELL at him when he doesn't listen to me? Should I try the "whispering" technique when you lower your voice and your kids miraculously quiet down to hear you? Well I've tried that too and it doesn't work! And how can I not give his sister praise when she does listen to me? Believe you me, he gets plenty praise when he listens too, probably more praise than I give Abbey because I sense he needs it more, but that is not what he focuses on. Nope, all he sees is that he gets in trouble while Abbey does not. What to do readers? What to do?

I suppose it doesn't help that Abbey tends to flit around with an angelic smile on her face, being extra helpful and extra sweet and extra good after Jack gets in trouble. Just in case he didn't realize that she was behaving better than him, she has a serious need to rub his nose in it.

Free Wheelin'

2009-09-13T15:26:00.004-04:00

Not even 5 yet, and off she goes. Into the big world on her 2 wheels. My baby, I can't believe it. This girl amazes me on a daily basis.

To Remember

2009-09-11T19:01:00.004-04:00

Has it really been 8 years? Sometimes it feels like hardly any time has gone by at all, at other times it feels like the tragedy of that day and the days that followed feel like something that happened a lifetime ago, to another me. The one that had no children yet, a full time job, a different house, a much stronger sense of safety in our world.

Ahhh, Routine

2009-09-04T21:29:00.003-04:00

I love the Fall. I mean I love love love the Fall. The air starts to get crisp and smell great and sweaters are on the way and you can wear more layers without sweating your you know what off. Best of all, with the Fall comes routine, and if there is something I love almost as much as Fall, it is routine. Getting the kids to bed at the same time, getting up at the same time, going to school, to work, to soccer, to taekwondo. Not to mention that all the good shows will be coming back soon, which for me is awesome because I really don't like reality t.v. Sure, we are going to be busy. Today alone we had back to back activities, but it was followed up with some pizza from the pizza place and a Bud Light with Lime. Ahhh, lovely.

In other Fall news, Jack started the second grade on Tuesday. Second grade! I can't believe it. Only one more year and we go into the dreaded . . . gulp . . . MCAS testing years. And he's like an honest to goodness boy now. Not like before he was Pinocchio or anything, but today he's zipping around on his bike and fooling around with his friends at the park, barely acknowledging my existence. Abbey had her very first soccer practice and she was so excited. In her pink shinguard's with her little ponytail swinging, she was A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. It was so great to watch her practice while Jack was biking around with his friends. Unlike when he practices and she pulls on my arms and jumps on my back like a monkey and begs to be taken to the playground. Oh well, I'm sure that soon enough neither of them will want to be anywhere near me when we go to the fields, so for now I should probably appreciate their attention.

My new second grader (check out his spikey hair)

The Queen of Soccer

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

2009-09-02T13:37:00.003-04:00

Still hands down one of the best commercials for back to school.

Happy Back To School Everyone!

So I Never Claimed To Be A Gourmet

2009-08-30T11:58:00.006-04:00

For anyone who knows me, they know that cooking isn't really my thing. I would rather scrub my toilet than whip up a batch of something totally complicated, like sugar cookies. I would rather organize my arts & crafts closet than bake a pie. I LOVE those cookies that you just break apart and bake, as far as I'm concerned they are one of the best inventions of all time. I like to make casseroles, things that you cook in one dish. Throw in some ingredients that usually start with chicken (as long as they are not complicated I've never heard of ingredients, like pine nuts), cover, and bake. Voila'! Dinner is served. I like take-out, or better yet, going out. My kids eat a lot of nuggets, grilled cheese and soup, and breakfast for dinner (otherwise known as "brinner"). I knew all this about myself, but I still assumed that I could boil an egg. Well, you know what they say about people that assume. I stayed at my parents last night with my grandmother while they are away at the lake. This morning I wanted to make her favorite breakfast, soft boiled eggs and toast (a dish apparently eaten in abundance during the Great Depression). I mean, it's boiling eggs. How hard could it be. Well let me tell you, it's super hard. First the pan that I used didn't seem to get along with the fancy smancy flat conture of my parents stove top of the future. It kept jumping all around, cracking one of my first egg attempts. Then I lost track of like 2 minutes and the next 2 eggs ended up way too hard boiled. By now Nanny's toast was cooling rapidly and I still had no eggs to show in the cute little chicken shaped egg cups. The next 2 were better, but upon trying to peel them (which by the way is a COMPLETE bitch!) I discovered they were a little too runny. I deemed 1 cooked enough and delivered it to my super appreciate Nanny. "Oh, honey, you didn't have to make me this." This statement is ridiculous in itself, this from the woman who over my lifetime has served me hundreds of meals. Dozen's of Chicken Divan's. Countless butterscotch puddings made from scratch in fancy dishes with whipped cream on top. Endless holiday feasts. Yes Nanny, I think after a lifetime of making me food I can attempt to make you 2 soft boiled eggs. On my last attempt at a good soft boiled egg I smartened up and changed pans. This one sat on the flat stove top just right. The egg was simmered to soft boiled perfection. After it was done I even realized that the shell peeled off super easy. In my hand I had the perfect soft boiled egg.

Then when I was bringing it upstairs to her I tripped a little and the damn egg fell on the floor.

Stupid eggs.

How Did This Happen?

2009-08-27T13:20:00.005-04:00

Lately I've been asking myself "how did this happen?" or more like "how did I let this happen?" No, I'm not talking about how I got sucked into starting a Farmville farm on Facebook, but how did I let myself gain all this damn frickin' weight? Last fall I started out needing to lose about 15 pounds. Then over the winter when we had the lovely ice storm and all the repercussions from that horrid mess (living in a trailer, far from my treadmill, buried in snow), I gained another 10. So beginning this summer I had about 25 to lose. Not 25 to lose to get to a "pre-baby what I weighed on the morning of my wedding weight", but a "I feel OK about myself my clothes fit and I'm feeling pretty good" weight. And now I am further away from that than ever. I am feeling out of shape and out of sorts and out of time. Last week I actually wrenched my back shopping. Yes! Shopping! I took the kids back to school shopping and after our trip I could barely walk. I think I hurt it pushing the cart. The cart! I had to lay around on a heating pad, popping ibuprofen like an addict for 3 days. At that point I realized, something must be done. I am 35 years old. I should be able to push a cart around for goodness sakes. I started Weight Watchers at the beginning of the summer, but at the end of the summer all I have to show for it is a loss of $30 bucks and 0.5 pounds. No, that's not 5 pounds. That's 0.5 pounds. As in ONE HALF OF A POUND! Pitiful.

Grrrr. So I will try again. I will jump back onto my point counting dragging my tired fat ass on the treadmill exercising routine, and hope for a positive outcome. I'm thinking that with the kids starting school next week, us getting back into a routine again (which we SO need) and the crisp cool air of fall approaching, I can do it this time. I think. No, I can. I will. Wish me luck, I'm off to harvest my wheat in Farmville now.

New Flintstones Product

2009-08-25T09:22:00.002-04:00

People Our Age

2009-08-21T10:20:00.008-04:00

I read this, and it made me laugh so hard I wrenched my back out (actually, I did that shopping, but laughing sounds better). Of course, I had to share it.

Random Thoughts From People Our Age

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
That's enough, Nickelback.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light Internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Nothing Like Sleeping With Sand In Your Bed

2009-08-17T18:30:00.013-04:00

Well, another vacation has come to an end. We had a fabulous and wonderful time at the ocean last week. I couldn't believe my luck actually. My boss has these houses right on the beach in Maine that they usually either rent out, or reserve for family but this year they had an open week. Actually, they had a couple of open weeks. (I am thinking that maybe the rich folk that usually shell out the big bucks for oceanfront vacation homes didn't have the extra cash this year?) Either way, their recession problems equaled a free vacation house for me, and I could not pass it up. Dennis didn't have any vacation time left (due to our aforementioned extravagant vacation taking) so it was just me and the kids. In an ironic twist Dennis ended up coming down with a nasty flu that may or may not have been swine and was home sick for practically the whole week anyway. Oh well, at least we missed the germs and his "I'm so sick I think I'm dying" man-whining. We were lucky that my parents and grandmother were able to come up for half the week and my cousin and her family came up the other half. My brother was there the whole week (the words "free" and "ocean" are right up his alley) and his girlfriend was able to take a day off and be up most of the week as well. It was hard for people to get time off because I was only offered the house about 3 weeks ago, but I was happy to forgo a week's pay and pack it up for yet another vacation, because, hey, vacationing is my life, right?

So we sat on the beach and soaked up the sun (after chasing the kids around spraying sunscreen at them while they screamed like hot wax was being dripped onto them) and even went out and bought boogie boards so that we could ride the waves in the warm ocean water. (Seriously, it was like 70 degrees, and this is MAINE we're talking about!) We walked to the pier and rode the rides and ate fried dough and played games that cost $2 where you win a stuffed animal that cost 31 cents to make. We played a very expensive round of mini-golf where everyone managed to get a hole-in-1 (well, almost everyone . . . sorry Matt). We ate lobsters dipped into melted butter and did sparklers on the beach and watched fireworks, and well, just had a perfect beach vacation. There was still the usual whining and demanding and fighting, but all in all the kids were pretty good. They have been totally spoiled though. Never again will we be going on this many vacations so close together, and I fear that I have set them up for a lifetime of summertime disappointments. Oh well, I guess they'll live.

Me and my cousin Colleen. We have vacationed together every summer for 35 years!

Cameron playing dead (notice the "boob" shells Jack placed on his chest)

Abbey the boogie boarding queen

Abbey and her Uncle Matt

Abbey and Brady riding in style

Jack was so proud to go on all the big rides with his older cousin. Here they are on their 6th ride on the rollercoaster, right in the front as usual.

Is it just us, or does everyone accumulate this many towels and crap?
(Notice the other house in the background - not ONE towel hanging off the deck!)

The whole group waiting for the tide to come in and destroy our day's work of sand castle building

On another blog-worthy note, have you ever heard of ski-ishing? We ran into 2 guys (who were apparently insane) on the beach late one night. Well, it was like 9, but that's late to me. They were wearing full-on wetsuits with flippers and everything, and they had fishing polls with them. They told us they swim out to about 40 feet of water, float there the ENTIRE night, and fish. If they catch one they let it pull them (hence, the ski-ishing part). They said they would float with the current and be at it until dawn. Yup, I thought they were nuts too.

Ocean Bound!

2009-08-08T10:16:00.003-04:00

Well, we're off to the ocean in Maine for a week. You might be saying to yourself "wow, they've taken a LOT of vacations this year!" and you know what? You'd be right!

Floating Around In A Giant Swan

2009-08-06T12:33:00.010-04:00

Yesterday some friends and I took our kids into Boston to go to the Common. In all of my years of life I had never been to the Boston Common, so it was really fun. Although they predicted sweltering heat and afternoon thunderstorms the weather turned out to be fine. Hot, yes. But no storms. We almost cancelled, but decided that since we live in New England that weather reports really don't matter that much and we should go anyway. So glad we did. We rode the Swan Boats which were great. And cheap! Only $2.75 for adults and $1.50 for kids. Granted it is only a 15 minute ride, but still. The kids loved it. After that we walked over to the other side of the common where they had a playground and places for us to have our picnic lunch. I'm not sure why eating on the ground has such appeal for kids, but mine love it. After that the kids were begging to go in this:

I had no idea that the Common had this Frog Pond spray area. It is a giant shallow wading pool that was filled with kids. No one had brought any bathing suits or towels, but with the intense heat beating down on them there was no stopping the kids. They just threw off their shoes and shirts (well, the girls left their shirts on) and ran in with their clothes on. Even though they have spent countless hours this summer swimming in lakes and jumping into backyard pools, jumping around in this particular body of water fully clothed seemed to give them more thrills than if they were swimming with dolphins in a clear blue Caribbean Sea. Of course, all we mothers could see were parasites and germs floating around in what basically was a giant tub filled with children. Although they put chlorine in it every day and drain it and re-fill it every 10 days (pray we were on day 1!) it still gave us the heebie jeebies. But the kids loved it, and that's all that is important. If they get a sty in their eye, well, don't come crying to me. I told them not to put their heads under the water!

Alone

2009-07-31T10:21:00.004-04:00

I am alone in my house. When was the last time you were alone in your house for any substantial amount of time? I am all alone, and I LOVE IT! My parents picked the kids up about an hour ago for the weekend at the lake and I am by myself, and thoroughly enjoying it. Dennis will be home in a couple of hours, and tomorrow after sleeping as late as possible, a quick trip to the grocery store, some household chores and a jaunt on the treadmill I am off to spend the night with my grandmother, but tonight I am alone and am doing NOTHING. Right after they left I flicked on HBO and Juno was just starting, which made me happy. Dennis is going to pick up take-out for dinner so I don't have to cook, which makes me happy as well. I am alone, and I am feeling relaxed for the first time all week. We had a super busy week here. Jack had Church Camp (which is CCD all condensed into one week in the summer) and he totally loved it. Abbey went to the YMCA Camp with my mother and she totally loved that. I worked 4 days, and we left super early every morning, all 3 of us slogging out to the minivan so that I could drop them off at all of their respective destinations. Off to work I went only to rush out to pick them each up at their respective places, rush to Taekwondo, throw dinners together and prod them into taking showers. Since I worked every day I was up folding laundry, scrubbing toilets and doing my normal daily day-off activities at like 10:00 at night. We were all exhausted and this morning I could barely drag my ass out of bed, but tonight, I am relaxing. I am alone and I'm loving it. Did I mention that?

Just Call Me Mrs. Weasley

2009-07-29T13:31:00.013-04:00

In recent months I have spent a little bit of time on Facebook, much of the time taking useless and random quizzes. I wondered when all layed out what Facebook quizzes say about me. Let's take a look, shall we?

In the Facts of Life I would be Mrs. Garrett

My Spell of choice is to Stupify

If I were a Death Eater I would be Lucius Malfoy

If I were an Entourage character I would be Vincent Chase

I should marry Ron Weasley

Ironically, my Harry Potter Character is also Ron Weasley

My Hogwarts House is Hufflepuff

My Hippie Name is Freedom Daisy Sunshine

If I were an 80's Toy I would be a Lite Brite

If I were a Star Wars Character I would be Luke Skywalker

If I were a Billy Mays (R.I.P.) product I would be the City Sliders (hamburger makers?)

If I were a 90's sitcom I would be Boy Meets World

If I were a Muppet I would be Scooter

If I were a Random Object I would be a slice of American cheese

My aura is blue

In a past life I was a Jester

In a horror movie I am the besieged protagonist, watching all my family and friends get killed off but surviving

I should live in Maine, but when I go camping I should stay in a travel trailer or 5th wheeler

I would survive 5 minutes in the Ghetto and 5 minutes in an alien invasion

I am 42% crazy, 15% bitchy, and 100% girly

Facebook deems that my life is "Average" and that in a movie about it Debra Messing should play me

Finally, I am 79% addicted to Facebook

Too Gross To Look At

2009-07-28T11:39:00.008-04:00

This morning the kids and I had to get up early and be out of the house so that everyone could get to their respective camp locations and I could get to work. Since we were rushed for time (what? I know, shocking) I grabbed Jack pancakes to eat at my dad's and Abbey ate a delicious looking bagel with cream cheese in the car. At least it was delicious looking when I gave it to her. The entire drive she was licking and biting it, sucking off all the cream cheese, while Jack made gagging noises and exclaimed a million times that he was NEVER going to look at Abbey again. He most definitely WAS NOT going to ever watch her eat anything that is so gross and disgusting again. He sat with one eye covered telling us again and again, and again, that he just couldn't look at her. She was too gross. Abbey responded by waiting until he snuck a peek and then opening her mouth to give him a nice big view of chewed up cream cheese and bagel. Ahhh, sibling love.

My Beloved One,

2009-07-24T19:15:00.005-04:00

I received this e-mail at work yesterday. I just can't believe my luck! A couple of days ago I was worrying about refinancing so we could consolidate some debt, and now this. Well there is certainly no need for us to re-finance now, thanks to Mrs. Anderson we are now MILLIONAIRES. Alleluia, my prayers have been answered. This is what it said.

My beloved one,

I am Mrs. Rita Anderson from Luxembourg, I am 51 years old; I am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast. my late husband was killed during the gulf war, and during the period of our marriage we had a son who was also killed in a cold blood during the War.I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. I selected you after visiting the website for this purpose and prayed over it, I am willing to donate the sum of ($18.5Million) It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless babies home where I come from. I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows.

Mrs.Rita Anderson.

Well sure Mrs. Anderson. I will take your money and distribute it to who? The motherless babies? From where? Is that even how you spell Luxembourg? Let me guess, I just have to send you a message and then you will tell me to send you, oh, $2,000 or $3,000 for some sort of transaction fee and then boom, just like that, I'll get the $18.5 million. Yup, thanks a lot Mrs. Anderson. You've just made all our wishes come true.

To Blog Or Not To Blog, That Is The Question

2009-07-21T10:22:00.005-04:00

Lately I've been feeling a little bit, well, blah about blogging. In the beginning I felt like I had all these ideas and thoughts running through my head that needed to get out. My kids were doing a lot of things that were either damn funny or damn cute, and so totally blog-worthy. But lately? Although they are still funny and still cute, they haven't done much that is very blog-worthy. We are just busy living our life. Work and house stuff and summer fun. Camps and cookouts and bug spray. Not very blog-worthy stuff in my opinion, so I just haven't been writing. Last year when I went on vacation for a week I could not wait to get home and blog. I missed it. This year? Not so much. It was nice to not even think about it, and it took me a full 3 days after we got home to even write anything at all. It's not that I don't want to write. I would love to be so creative that I could write a hysterical or touching or brilliant post every day, but apparently I am not that creative. Maybe I am having some sort of writers block that will come undone soon. Maybe not. I was starting to stress out a little bit about my lack of good posts when my tell it like it is friend told me to relax. Blog, don't blog. People will get over it. They like to read, but no one is going to die if you don't write an interesting post every day. And you know what? She's right. You'll all be just fine.

Scout Camp Happiness

2009-07-17T20:21:00.004-04:00

Jack went to Cub Scout Camp all this week. He LOVED it beyond belief, and he also apparently is some sort of archery bulls-eye shooting savant. Tonight was the "wrap-up" event where I was painfully reminded that 1) I do not like the woods 2) I do not like dirt and 3) I do not like bugs. We sat in a giant dust ball on filthy wooden benches in front of a roaring campfire in the first real heat of the summer, while each "den" put on skits and sang songs. Abbey thought this was a good opportunity to play in the dusty dirt by my bug bitten legs. My feet were black, my clothes were trashed, but my son was happy. And dirty. Check out this picture I took of his feet when we got home, right before he was cleansed in a nice long tub.

Guardian Angels Do Exist

2009-07-16T10:18:00.004-04:00

Do you believe in guardian angels? I do. I've always felt that everyone has someone looking out for them, and that each individual has their own personal angel just for them. I'm not positive but according to my few interactions with the Ouija Board in college my own guardian angel has the initials XB, and is a young girl. If you didn't believe in guardian angels before it is hard not to after reading this story out of Canada. A 3 year old boy wandered away from his family's campsite, taking his ride-along toy fire truck with him. He somehow took it into the river and rode it for 8 miles, over 2 hours, down the river before being discovered by a boater out searching. He had on NO life jacket and was completely UNHARMED. 2 hours! Floating down a river on a toy truck. It is unbelievable that he never fell in or hit a rock. Now, I am pretty sure that little boy, yup, he has a guardian angel.

Like A Warm Blanket

2009-07-14T09:45:00.018-04:00

Since I can remember we have always spent a week of our summer vacation with my entire family. I'm talking aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents, family friends. Until I was 12 we would go to the same place every year, North Haven Maine. This was a tiny tiny island off the coast of Maine way up. We used to leave our house at midnight (so exciting when you are a kid to drive in the dead of night) and drive all night. My dad would have to take a nap that day to "get ready" and our little Subaru would be PACKED to the gills with stuff crammed everywhere for our week away. Since there was no grocery store on the island we would have to bring ALL of our food with us, along with anything else we would possibly need for the week. Thinking about that now seems ridiculous. I can't imagine having to pack not only our clothes and stuff for a week away, but all the food too? And the booze? Did they pack 30 packs of Bud Light in the car? I can't remember, but it must have been there somewhere. At least there was vodka and manhattan mix, thats for sure. I can barely get away with packing for a weekend away without bringing 4 giant bags. But off we would go in the middle of the night, stopping every year at LL Bean (open 24 hours for some odd reason) to gaze at the giant fish tank while wearing our pajamas. We would arrive at the ferry station 2 days later (OK, so I guess it was about 6 hours but to us kids it seemed like a very long drive, and we were probably sleeping most of the way so it must have seemed like a week to the parents).

After a 5 hour ferry ride (again, my memory may be stretching the length of this trip as well) we arrived on the island and drove the 3 minute drive across to the other side to our cute as a button cove. 3 cottages in a semi circle around a quiet rocky ocean cove. Our place was named "Aunt Annies" and was an old 2 story house that I'm sure was haunted by the ghost of Aunt Annie herself. Her body may actually have resided in the lumpy couch. My cousins got the awesome place on the water called the "Anchorage" and when the tide was in the water was directly under the porch off the galley (that's a kitchen for all you non-nautical people). It had a bunk room with 18 bunk beds (again, there may have been around 4 but when you are 6 years old everything seems HUGE). My great aunt and uncle's place was basically 2 trailer type rectangle structures pushed together. The first had the deck and kitchen and the second had the bedrooms and bathroom. It was so cool, you had to actually leave the bedroom and walk outside and around to the front to get into the kitchen. For the life of me I can't remember the name of it though. Everything smelled like the sea air and we would have to wear lots of sweatshirts and collect starfish and dry them out on the rocks. We would find sea glass and go out in the row boat and swim in the freezing cold 45 degree water. We would dig for clams and my uncle would cook steamers and chowdah and the adults would have cocktail hour starting every day at 2. My cousin Colleen and I would find out who was eating the best dinner at what cottage and eat there. We slept in the bunk room, at haunted Aunt Annies, in the back beds of the rectangle trailer with all the old magazines. There was no t.v., no phone. We listened to our Fisher Price radio and put on shows for ourselves. I always felt safe and loved wherever I went in that cove, and vacations spent there make up my most precious childhood memories.

Fast forward 20 some odd years ahead and what do you find? We are STILL vacationing together. Some things have changed. We no longer go to our dear North Haven (I heard Aunt Annies actually sunk and collapsed right into the marsh behind it) and we have since lost our beloved Uncle Dick, but we do go to our cottages on the lake. Our places are a little more spread out now (although with the way our group has grown that is not exactly a bad thing). We now add our own spouses to the crew, as well as all the kids we've gone on to birth. This year on the Fourth of July there were 26 of us, all decked out in these super cool matching teal tee-shirts.

The best thing about our week away is that I still feel the exact same way I felt when I was a little kid. Like being wrapped in a warm blanket for a week I am completely safe, loved and protected. I love that for one week we all stop our regular lives and come together to just be together. I love that Jack and Abbey will grow up having their very own memories of their wonderful vacation weeks with their cousins, their aunts and uncles. I love that we all still get along well enough to actually want to spend a week together. We are a big close family, and I truly believe the reason we are still a close family is our commitment to having these yearly vacations together. These vacations together lead to holidays together lead to birthday parties together lead to Sunday dinners together lead to, well, lead full circle back to family.

Happy Fourth!

2009-07-04T12:01:00.002-04:00

Can't write, family waiting in the van. Off to our family vacation extravaganza at the lake! Be back in a week.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TV Time Out

2009-06-30T18:28:00.004-04:00

On Sunday we went to a pool party to celebrate Jack's baseball teams, ummm, winning season. When it was time to leave the kids refused to get out of the pool. You know when your kids are swimming around in a pool, and you know you can't reach them, and they know you can't reach them, it creates an impossible situation. It was made even more impossible by the fact that there were about 50 people from town all around, most of which I barely know, so I didn't want to start screaming like a mad woman and threatening to beat them senseless. I knew we were in trouble though when Dennis handed me his cell phone. "I'm going in" he said, and in his eyes I saw a furious gleam that would surely end badly. My one last attempt, including the words "your father is coming in the pool to get you and then you're really going to get it!" finally did the trick, and they came out. Because of their, shall we say NOT listening yet again, they lost t.v., video games and computer play for the rest of that day. After the initial moaning, pouting, crying and wailing (mostly from Jack) they settled down to play outside. Ride their bikes, shoot the basketball, draw with chalk. Inside we played Candyland, and before an early bed had time to read 2 full books. Today while at the trailer supply store with me and their grandfather they did the same thing. When it was time to leave they started darting around the small store, thinking it was a great game that I couldn't catch them. I threatened the "no t.v., video games and computer" time out again, and they still didn't listen. Eventually of course they did leave the store, but too late. Television gone. Again there was moaning, crying and wailing (again, mostly from Jack) but this time it only lasted about half the amount of time as before. Since we've been home we have played outside, playing a great round of H.O.R.S.E. basketball (which I won). They played nicely while I made dinner, helped me set the table, and as I type this Jack is doing his maze book while Abbey paints watercolors in her Disney Princess book. They are sitting together at the little Cabbage Patch table, as content as can be. Neither of them have even mentioned watching television. It is so nice, it almost makes me want them to get into trouble at least 3 or 4 times a week. Naw, I think we will just be turning OFF the t.v. a hell of a lot more in this house. Apparently they needed an electronic break!

Of course there is one little downfall with this time out system, and that is that I have to spend a lot more time entertaining them. So far I haven't minded, although I am already wondering what the heck I am going to do in an hour when it's time to jump on my treadmill for 30 minutes. Wish me luck.

Jon & Kate Reprive

2009-06-29T11:06:00.004-04:00

As I heard the saddening news of death after death of celebrities out in Los Angeles one thought jumped into my head, and that was that Jon and Kate Gosselin must be ecstatic because the paparazzi and media attention has been shifted off of them, at least for a little while. I'm glad (no, I'm not glad that people have died), but I am happy that chances are good that I won't see Kate or Jon or any of their kids on the cover of my Us Weekly this Friday, like I have been week after week after week. I'm sick of them. I think we all are.

Schools Over!

2009-06-25T17:54:00.007-04:00

Yesterday was Jack's last day of school. Finally, it feels like summer is here. It helped a lot that today the rain stopped and the sun came out for the first time in about 12 days. Although summer will be great, I'm sure of it, the kids really need to put on their LISTENING EARS if we have any chance of getting through this summer without me becoming a screaming banshee. I brought them both to the grocery store this afternoon, something that I haven't had to do in forever. Usually its just me and Abbey and everything is smooth and calm and peaceful. Not so today. Jack insisted on pushing the cart while Abbey sat in the front and smacked him in the head with a package of paper towels. He would randomly speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down. So nerve wracking. I kept waiting for him to take out some old lady. But we managed to get through and I know that I have a lot of sibling love to look forward to over the next 10 weeks.

As usual, the last day of school also arrived with an AVALANCHE of paperwork brought home. I am frightened to think how much I'm going to have when they are both in school together. I might have to rent a storage space for the worksheets alone!

On a sad note, the world lost both Farrah Fawcett and Micheal Jackson today. While Farrah's death was sad, it was expected and came after such a long hard battle with the big C. Not so with the King of Pop. Unbelievable. Jack said to me "I thought only old people had heart attacks?" How do you explain to a 7 year old that your heart can give out no matter what your age? Also how do you explain to a 7 year old how a boy who was born black got so light skinned over the years, a point that was made quite obvious during the many photo montage's on the screen?

When I learned the news of Jackson's death I was standing in my kitchen making dinner. Ironically, I was standing in the exact same spot doing the exact same thing when I learned that Heath Ledger had passed away from an accidental drug overdose. The lesson here? I spend too much damn time in the kitchen.

Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

2009-06-22T18:59:00.004-04:00

Here is a random list of things that being a mother has taught me (in no particular order of importance).

Not bringing food with you into the bathroom is something that you actually have to teach your children, not something that they just know.

You can worry about things you didn’t even think existed before you had kids.

You are never “fair.”

No matter how occupied your children are, they will need you urgently the second you either sit on the toilet or pick up the phone.

The theme song for “I Carly” is quite catchy and good to dance along with.

All of the actors you remember from your own television shows as a child are now apparently providing the voices for every cartoon character under the sun, i.e., “is he watching the Wonder Years in there? I think I hear Fred Savage.”

Band-Aids are required every time you leave the house.

To a child sunscreen is the same as hot searing acid. The same goes for bug spray.

A fever in the middle of the night is 1,000 times worse than the exact same fever at 2 in the afternoon.

The people who make children’s programming are on some sort of hallucinogenic drugs.

You would die to save your children. You would rip someone apart with your hands like a wild mother bear if anyone tried to harm them.

You can no longer watch any kind of news involving the abuse of children.

Oddly, permanent magic marker does not stay on Ziploc baggies.

You can exist on less sleep than you ever thought possible.

Sleeping “in” means sleeping past 8 am.

You can use your hands as a tissue, when given no other choice. You can also use your sleeves.

You can love another person unconditionally, and more than you love yourself.

What have you learned?

Fly Killer!

2009-06-21T10:42:00.004-04:00

Well, you know how I feel about bugs.

In my opinion, President Obama just moved up about 5 notches. That's right, kill that fly! The only thing that would have made it cooler was if he had caught it with a pair of chopsticks like Mr. Myagi. And now, PETA is out for his blood. You just have to laugh. Its a frickin' fly people!

Blah Blah Blah

2009-06-19T11:51:00.005-04:00

Ants, spiders, more ants, mosquitoes, beetles, moths, fly's, more ants and one tiny little green worm I found creeping along my bedroom floor. These are the bugs in my house right now. Yuck. I can't stand bugs and wonder why I live in the woods when I would be much rather suited for a condo in the city. Of course, they have their own bugs I'm sure, you can't escape them. If I moved into the heart of New York City with not a speck of grass or tree I would have rats and cockroaches, and I think those would be worse.

So Abbey and I are home today, no work and no activities. We are on about the 12th straight day of rain (minus Wednesday which was beautiful, the 1 day of the week). We were home yesterday too, so I got all my cleaning and laundry and shopping done. So far today I have gotten up and put Jack on the bus, gone out to breakfast, thrown in the last random load of whites, pulled out all the paint paraphernalia for Abbey and laid on the couch. I laid on the couch in the middle of the day. Granted it only lasted about 45 minutes, but still, delightful.

Now I am greatly looking forward to school being over. Jack still has 3 days of school next week before he is off for the summer, and at this point it just seems ridiculous that he is still going. Every morning he fights me to get out of bed, every night he wants to stay up just a little bit later. I am done too, sick of packing his backpack and lunches, scrounging for quarters for his milk money. Tired of rushing out of work and stressing about getting home in time to get him off the bus. We are all ready for a break. Until about August, then I will be itching to get us back on a routine and back to real life.

So I think this post was quite appropriately titled "blah blah blah" because it was just filled with blah blah blah. Sorry.

Who, Me?

2009-06-15T10:37:00.006-04:00

I just wanted to share a couple of blog awards I just received (my first EVER) from my good bloggy friend Jen over at Yours + Mine = Ours. You may be thinking "wow Kirsten, awards, congratulations!" or maybe you were thinking "but of course you are a brilliant blogger and deserve oodles and oodles of awards" and you would be right. You may also be thinking "and awards from Jen, that is an even bigger accomplishment" and you would be correct there too. So here you go, feast your eyes on these babies. After this they will reside on my sidebar, for all the world to see and marvel at.

200 miles

2009-06-15T10:02:00.008-04:00

I think that June is about the busiest month of the year, activity wise. Do you agree? There are a ton of cookouts, graduations, sports activities, recitals, concerts, weddings, and end of the year extravaganza's. It is an impossible month to diet in, there is just too much stuff going on, and most of this stuff involves eating and drinking things you really shouldn't. This weekend was no exception to the June rule, and yet again I wish I had a weekend to recover from the weekend. I feel as though I spent most of it in the van. It started Friday night with a baseball game 2 towns over. And these aren't little towns out here, where I live it takes a minimum of 20 minutes to get anywhere. On Saturday we went to a fun cookout an hour and a half away (although I have to say that the drive was worth it for the rice crispy treats alone). Sunday Jack had a birthday party over half an hour away and then another away baseball game, in another away town. By the time all was said and done last night I had driven 200 miles, a total of 6 hours spent inside our blue van, which would explain why the check engine light came on. It is just plain plumb tuckered out (to take a phrase from Amelia Bedelia).

Speaking of Amelia Bedelia, I think those books might be our new favorite. That Amelia Bedelia is so literal, it cracks us up. We only have one book right now, "Amelia Bedelia and the baby" and the kids LOVE it. She is a maid but in this book she has to go and babysit, and hilarity ensues. For example, on the mother's list of instructions it says "put the baby's bib on" so Amelia puts the bib on . . . herself. She puts the baby powder on . . . herself. During playtime the baby sits in her playpen and Amelia Bedelia plays with all her toys. Ahhh, Amelia. You are such a card.

Alien Invasion

2009-06-11T18:46:00.006-04:00

Today has been our second afternoon in a row that we didn't have an activity. No baseball game, no taekwondo, nothing. It has also been rainy, overcast and gray, which makes for nice indoor activities. Yesterday the kids wanted to fill the house with "bad guys" to fight. Since we didn't have any bad guys lying around, they decided to make them. When Jack discovered that no, we did not have oh, 10 or 15 giant pieces of heavy cardboard that he could make bad guy cut outs out of, they settled on the long easel paper. Abbey laid down and Jack traced her, but when he was done they decided that it looked more like an alien than a bad guy. They then proceeded to spend over half an hour coloring it in and cutting it out. They decided to hang it in the doorway from the kitchen to the dining room, so that, in their words, they could "scare the heck out of daddy." I'm happy to report that it worked, he was scared. Actually, I kept forgetting it was hanging there and the rest of the night, after the kids were asleep, as I wandered around the house, grabbing myself an apple for a snack (OK, chips, whatever) I kept catching it out of the corner of my eye. Hanging there, in the dark. It was pretty creepy. This morning I moved it onto the cellar door. Abbey then made another one, to scare the pants off of Jack when he came home from school. He was slightly scared, or at least he pretended he was scared, bless his heart. He even let out a little squeal.

Another activity today while Jack was in school? Abbey dressed up as this, and declared herself "Indiana Alice" because you know, Indiana Jones meets Alice in Wonderland? Pretty clever, huh?

Bookends

2009-06-08T22:15:00.008-04:00

Old Friends

Sat on a park bench like bookends

Since I was a little girl my mother has always had different groups of friends she hung out with. Old friends, school friends, work friends. I learned from her that you don't have to choose, and could have as many friends as you wanted. As I grow older (but not OLD) I notice that I have the same thing in my own life. I have a couple of friends from high school, some known my whole life family friends, some from college, work friends, and now town friends. This latest group is made up of mothers that I have met through different things around town, and we see each other a lot. At the park, the school, the library, the bus stop, taekwondo. At the baseball and soccer fields. We talk about the town, teachers and coaches and homework, and of course the kids. We have been getting together too, for dinner or for drinks. It is a lot of fun to have people to hang out with that live close by. There is a big group so when something is planned whoever can make it, makes it and it is just nice. So while I preface this by saying that I am enjoying my new found town friends immensely, I will not make the mistake of referring to them as my "girls"again, like last Friday when I posted on Facebook that I was "heading out with the girls for drinks." Typing it felt wrong, and at first I couldn't understand why. Then as I was walking out the door my best friend, my college/life/forever friend Suzy called. As soon as I told her that I couldn't talk, that I was running out the door and heading out with the "girls" for drinks I knew why. Even saying that I was going out with "the girls" when she wasn't one of them sounded wrong on my tongue. Believe me, she knew how wrong it sounded too. Everyone in our families know, when you say you are going out with the girls, it only means one group. THE girls. The college group. I know she doesn't begrudge me my new friends, but damn, I shouldn't be calling them my girls! The next day some of us were all together at the Cape. The families had all gathered for one of our as often as we can get togethers and she ratted me out to the others. They were equally aghast with disbelief that I had called these foreign women "my girls" and had no problems at all telling me how wrong I was. They even came up with their own name for my new friends, but I won't share that here.

The funny thing is that if anyone had told me during my sophomore and junior year of college way back in 1994 that these new friends I was making would become a part of my life forever, I don't know if I would have believed them. For instance, if someone had whispered in my ear when I met Suzy that day in the hall of our dorm, her blond hair as curly as all out, wearing her cheerleader uniform, that this girl would grow up to be one of the woman I would share all my secrets with, I would have laughed at them. Her, that cheerleader? No way. But college life bonded us, all of us. We ate together, partied together, studied together (yes mom, we did study sometimes). Shared secrets and stories and our lives. And that is the way it has stayed. We don't see each other nearly enough, we are all flung out in different spots, but when we do see each other it is like nothing has changed. It's like we could be heading out to the caf for lunch. Its just the same as always.

I am lucky that I have so many friends, and I treasure ALL of them. As the saying goes, some are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Maybe the difference between season friends and lifetime is the ability to be able to call each other out on their shit and still be friends? I shouldn't have called these new women my girls, shame on me for that. Pam should learn how to use the delete button on her camera, Suzy snorts. The point is that we love each other anyway. Just as much as ever.

Get Me Out Of Here You Crazy Cookie!

2009-06-03T20:22:00.011-04:00

Last night I was super duper cranky, so cranky that I didn't even want to feed the children dinner but wanted them to just go to bed at 6. But alas I did feed them (hot dogs) and bathed them (well, technically I ran the water for Abbey and added the bubbles and then Dennis luckily got home early and finished up the process). He then put them to bed, while I lounged on the couch and drank wine (yes, I was that cranky). Anyhoo, while lounging I was of course flipping through the t.v. channels when I stumbled across "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" which apparently is a Survivor type reality show but with celebrities stranded instead of "real" people. I swear to you that I sat open mouthed gaping from the second I flipped onto this channel until I finally tore myself away. For one thing, I think their use of the word "celebrity" is a bit of a stretch. It has Heidi and Spencer (Speidy for those of you in the know), Janice Dickinson from that modeling show, two comedian woman who I've never heard of, a blond girl, one of the Baldwin brothers, the wife of a former Illinois governor (the WIFE, not even the senator himself, I mean really?), Shanzyia (?) from American Idol, and oddly thrown into the mix, Lou Diamond Philips (who I actually would probably consider a celebrity). I guess they hang out together in the jungle of Costa Rica, do challenges and then someone gets voted off? Not really sure of the storyline. I had to stop watching, because to use Abbey's favorite saying, it was freaking me out man.

In other entertainment news, my new issue of Cookie has arrived. As in previous months, it seems to be chock full of incredibly useful information for the average normal mother. Tori Spelling is on the cover and is looking beautiful while her children look adorable and Dean looks, I guess, rugged? There is an entire section devoted to redecorating your kids rooms. The rooms are gorgeous of course, and feature economical and practical items like a vintage steamer trunk for your 8 year old boy ($425), Shiro birch shelving for your unborn child ($3,800), or small pillows with bubbles on them for only $75 each! But wait, there's more. Father's day is just around the corner, and you're not sure what to get that love of your life? Cookie to the rescue. 21 items they deem perfect. I'm still not sure what to get Dennis. I'm torn between the $386 espresso pot, a $165 cologne, the $798 carryall bag, the $100 boy scout knife set, or $70 aviator sunglasses. He would probably really like the pocket knife, but he would look pretty sexy in those sunglasses. Decisions decisions. But shush, don't tell him. I want him to be surprised.

I know I bash this magazine, but I honestly do like to read it. It gives me quite the chuckle. And really, without it what would I blog about?

Dear Mom and Dad,

2009-06-02T09:42:00.006-04:00

Check out this wonderful note Jack came home with yesterday. The last 3 weeks of school will indeed be homework free. Ahhh, music to my ears.

No more worksheets. No more sentences to write. No more number scrolls. No more finishing dinner and having to fight with him to get his homework done before he could watch t.v. Reading we can handle. It is a normal part of bedtime anyway, and it is nice to have him read instead of me sometimes. And isn't his handwriting nice and neat?

Extra Coffee Please

2009-06-01T10:07:00.007-04:00

I am feeling exhausted this morning. Exhausted in the way that I could very well put my head down on my desk and slip into a deep sleep. I'm on my second cup of coffee and hoping that I will jolt awake sometime soon. I'm not sure why. We had a good weekend, busy in a productive "wow we got a lot of shit done this weekend" way but not over booked with parties and gala's that had us out until all hours of the night or anything. I hope I'm not coming down with anything weird. One of my glands seems a little swollen but I'm pretty sure that it might just be a bug bite. Maybe I stayed up too late watching "Maneater" on Lifetime last night.

In all our weekend was actually very productive. The kids both went over to a friends house for a couple of hours Saturday afternoon for a double playdate. I didn't even know those existed but man do I love them. Dennis and I scampered off to Walmart, feeling like a young childless couple as we bought a new mower, assorted yard items and various car accessories. We even stopped at the flower stand to get a few plants and flowers. All alone. I know, we were wild. It was so weird. I even mowed the lawn later in the day. Up until this point I had never used a lawnmower. (Is that odd?) The push one we had was so old and decrepit that it took superhuman strength to pull start it, and then fine tuning to keep it going. It finally died and we were forced to go and buy an inexpensive light mower. Dennis started it and began to mow, and then turned it off to see if I could start it. Of course I could because I am woman hear me roar, right? After about 1 minute though I realized that I was a fool and should have pretended I couldn't start it, because this means that now I will have to mow. Then I discovered that I liked mowing. It reminded me of vacuuming which I actually do enjoy. Back and forth, back and forth, I like that you can see the progress you are making as you go. What was once an untidy patch of yard that looked like it belonged next to an abandoned lot is now nice and clean. Voila'! When I thought more about how light the new lawnmower was another brilliant idea slipped into my mind. "Jack" I yelled. "Come and see if you can push this lawnmower." He came and yes indeedy, he could push it. Turns out he likes to mow too. I am wondering if this is OK. Can a 7 year old mow the lawn? There aren't any child-labor laws against this kind of chore for a child of this age, are there? Abbey cleverly took this opportunity to chase whoever was mowing around shooting them with the water gun. Just "giving you some cooled off water mommy." Anyway, Jack mowed and I mowed and now that I think of it Dennis barely mowed. Actually, looking back I now see him leaning against the shed with a wicked sneer having himself a little chuckle. "Ha ha ha, my plan is working perfectly. The new light lawnmower will be the answer to all of my evil schemes. Ha ha ha." (insert evil laugh here) In his defense he did do all the planting (my thumb is far from green), put down new grass patches, changed the oil/fluids, etc. in the cars, put new wipers on the van and fixed my broken blinker. He even hung new plant hangers and on Sunday took the kids for a hike while I stayed home ALONE for over 2 hours. If we are keeping track (which I'm not because what kind of mother does that, right) I am up to almost 5 hours of child-free time this weekend.

So I guess what I am saying is that I shouldn't be so tired. But I am. Maybe it was Jack's damn bird homework. He (meaning us) had to watch for birds, check off the ones he saw and then write a small little 5 sentence report on 1 bird. He had over a week to do this and we did look for birds everywhere we went but hardly saw any. Even on his hike with his father he only saw 1. Our yard, neighborhood and town seems a bit lacking in the bird department, I think it has something to do with all the predatory animals we have milling about. But finally we managed to spot 7 different types of birds and after baseball last night I nudged, helped, cajoled and begged him to finish up the report part. I have heard a rumor that his teacher might (please be true, please be true) be done giving out homework for the year, leaving the last month to be homework free. I really hope this is true, because I am so sick of homework. But damn, if I can't handle first grade homework, we are screwed.

Confession

2009-05-29T20:04:00.003-04:00

OK, so last night I was flipping around the t.v. channels when I landed on a channel with a movie just starting. That made me excited because it was 9:00 and I really could have gone for a good movie. Then I discovered it was "You've Got Mail" and I got disgusted and changed it quickly. That is when I realized that I DO NOT LIKE MEG RYAN. Yes, that is my confession. (What did you think it was going to be?) I know that she is supposed to be the all cute girl next door all sunny and bright girl, but she bugs me to no end. In every movie I've seen her in she always acts pretty much the same, which is like she is on heavy drugs. She is always loopy and weird acting, and way too perky when perkiness is not called for. And really too skinny, bony actually. The only movie I enjoyed her in (besides "When Harry Met Sally") was when she played the drunk alcoholic mother in "When A Man Loves A Woman." Now that role she nailed, mostly because she seems to be in a perpetual state of drunkenness anyway. I watched "Proof of Life" recently with Russell Crowe and the entire time I just kept thinking what a better movie it would have been if someone else had been cast in her role.

So that's it my loyal readers. Now you know. I do not like Meg Ryan. Can't stand her. That's all.

Random-ness

2009-05-27T19:00:00.008-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I'm tired, and honestly I haven't been able to think of much to say. Why don't I just throw some random things from the last few days out there, shall I. We had fun camping, or should I say "trailering." We ended up getting to stay in my aunt and uncles trailer so we had the whole place to ourselves. It was delightful. My own big bed, our own bathroom. Ahhh, camping. The only crappy part was that Jack was being a pain in the ass half the weekend, he is going through a serious bratty stage that I am desperately afraid is not a stage at all but just his personality. I feel like all I ever say is "Jack, knock it off!" and I know you are supposed to love your children at all times but honestly sometimes I do not even like him very much when he acts up. And he acts up plenty. Oh and when he is especially acting up Abbey acts even more angelic so that we can all be sure to see how angelic she is in comparison. The girl is smart, way smart.

Also, I feel like all I have been doing is laundry and picking up, picking up, picking up and my house is still full of junk everywhere. I think my main problem is that I am feeling Disney-less and missing not only my vacation but planning and looking forward to having a vacation. My friend Jenna is going in August though and is letting me help plan their days out, so that is helping a bit. I mean, sure, we'll have lots of weekends away this summer and we always have an awesome family week up at the lake coming up soon, but this last vacation was a real vacation in the sense that I was completely away from my life of constant cooking, cleaning and laundry. In all honesty I don't actually cook constantly, because I don't like to cook and hate the question "what's for supper?" more than anything in the world. Oh boo hoo me, right? Sure, people have real problems and I'm bitching about not being on vacation. I'll stop now. Oh and I went back on Weight Watchers not in the sense that I am going to a meeting which would involve finding a meeting that met at a convenient time for me when I wasn't at work or had the kids, but I am writing down my points and drinking my water and thinking about going on my treadmill (do you like how I am thinking about it, like I have to psych myself up to get really back into the swing of exercise). But I hate to diet and watch what I eat and I just want to have some Tostitos and lay on the couch because I freakin' love Tostitos and I love to eat.

Another random-ness, while writing this post I dropped not 1, not 2 but 3 grapes I was munching on onto the floor where they rolled under the hutch or fell into the box that holds the printer that we still haven't hooked up, and I'm not even going to find them and pick them up. I am just going to leave them and let them turn into raisins.

A Camping We Will Go

2009-05-22T20:24:00.003-04:00

Just in case this title misled anyone I should explain that when I say camping, I actually mean staying in my parents trailer with electricity, running water, AC, t.v., and a lovely if somewhat teeny tiny bathroom. Tomorrow we are off for the Memorial Day weekend,and we are very excited. It has been about 8 months since we were there and we have all missed it, especially the kids. Memorial Day is supposed to mark the beginning of summer, but with another 5 weeks of school left for Jack, it still doesn't feel too summery. Getting away to the trailer will really make me feel like summer is starting. I also get to start wearing open toed shoes to work, so woo hoo to that! The ability to wear sandals just breaks my work wardrobe choices wide open. I'm just happy that campground time is here, the time when we can head into the woods for family fun and togetherness. And you do understand that by togetherness I mean 7 people sharing one aforementioned teeny tiny bathroom?

Swimming Pigs?

2009-05-21T19:37:00.004-04:00

OK, I am going to admit it, I never knew that pigs could swim. I guess I have never actually thought about it, and if I had I would have come to the conclusion that sure, if they were, you know, drowning they would probably paddle themselves to safety, but to swim for fun? Who knew. Check out Nothing But Bonfires (I love her slogan, "You say tomato, I say your saying it wrong") and see a video of real live swimming pigs. I swear. I had no idea.

Mind Reader

2009-05-20T08:34:00.003-04:00

Can you read minds? Well if you are a mom you are thoroughly expected to. Abbey especially thinks I am a superhero mind-reading psychic. Most of the time when we are in the car together she likes to sing songs. The problem is that she wants me to sing songs with her that she is making up on the spot. "Sing with me mommy" she yells as she warbles nonsensical words in a string to an ever changing tune. When I don't jump right in with the correct words she gets completely frustrated and upset with me. "No mommy, those aren't the right words, sing the right words." I tried to explain to her that I don't know the words and perhaps she could teach me the words first, and then we could sing together but that doesn't seem to work either. She doesn't understand why I don't just "know" the words already. Usually she doesn't know the words either and is just making them up, and that tends to make a sing-a-long a little difficult. Yesterday she was singing this little Christmas ditty she invented.

I wish it was Merry Christmas

All through the year

Once I got the words down we sang it together about 18 times. But just knowing the words was not enough. I had to know how loud to sing it. Or soft. She kept changing which lines were loud, which were soft. "No mommy, that's too loud. Sing it softer. Not that part, sing that part loud. No, you're doing it wrong."

Ummm, OK. Sorry honey.

Pictures Pictures and More Pictures

2009-05-18T21:59:00.007-04:00

So what did we do? We picked the Contemporary baby. Nothing says magical vacation like a free upgrade. Unfortunately, now that we have stayed in a deluxe resort we will never again be able to mingle with the common folk at the regular hotels. Sorry, its deluxe for us from here on out!

It was so great, the beds were super comfy and the room was huge. We could see the monorail out the window as well as the tip of Cinderella's Castle. Definitely the right decision. My mom told me she read that the beds in the new Pirate rooms were super hard and uncomfortable anyway.

This picture is by far my most favorite of the entire trip. Check out Abbey's awestruck gaze at Prince Charming. He was quite handsome and charming, that's for sure! After he signed her book he gave her a kiss on the forehead and I thought she was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. He barely acknowledged Jack or Dennis or I, he only had eyes for the Princess.

I'm already planning our next trip in my head. I'm thinking Fall, 2012. I'm thinking the Polynesian. I'm thinking that maybe I will lose some weight and my thighs won't rub together quite so much in the heat!

Keep looking below for even more pictures from our vacation at the "Happiest Place on Earth"

2009-05-18T21:41:00.005-04:00

This is when we were picked to be "Celebration" family at the "Lights Motors Action" Stunt show. Which basically meant we got to sit on special chairs in the rain.

Abbey was chosen for the Jedi training show, so damn cute.

2009-05-18T21:34:00.002-04:00

This says it all, Abbey conked out on the plane on the way home, while Jack excitedly watched lightening out the window.

Disneyworld

2009-05-17T23:28:00.003-04:00

We are home from Disneyworld. Notice the lack of exclamation point. After 8 months of planning (that's right, 8 months) it is over. No more planning. No more Disney. I am quite sad, but we had a great and wonderful trip. A trip of a lifetime, although I am already secretly planning on going again in 2 years. Everything went fabulous and even though it did seem crowded and it was super hot, the lines were short (we waited 10 minutes or less for most rides) and there was plenty of air conditioning. My hair as usual hated being on vacation and was an unreasonable mess the entire week. I wore my Red Sox hat every single day, and actually got quite a couple of "nice hat" comments from fellow New Englanders. I'll share more tomorrow, for now I am exhausted after my long day of unpacking, doing 5 loads of laundry and a giant grocery store run. I will share this though. I had booked us a room at the Caribbean Beach Resort, a brand new "Pirate" themed room. This is considered a "Moderate" resort by Disney standards. When I went to check in, they asked me if we wanted a complimentary upgrade to the Contemporary Resort, which is considered a Deluxe. The manager told me that the room was valued at $527 a night. I thought about it, after all it is right on the monorail system and so much closer and is a nicer hotel, but on the other hand I had been dreaming about the kids faces when we surprised them with this pirate room for months (they had no idea about it). And the main pool had been recently done over in all pirate themes as well. Hmmm, what to do. So what did we decide? Fun for the kids in a great themed room? Or convenience and a bigger room with bigger beds for us?

What would you have done?

DISNEY!

2009-05-08T21:21:00.004-04:00

What can I say. WE ARE GOING TO DISNEYWORLD TOMORROW! After 8 months (that's right, 8 months) of planning and preparing, we are really going. After all of my obsessive compulsive over planning, we are actually going. We are going we are going we are going. Disney, here we come. Everyone else, get the hell out of there!

I'll be back in a week and I'm sure I'll have pictures and stories to share. Just keep us in your prayers for a safe and healthy trip. And maybe low crowds and gorgeous weather? I won't count on that one! I hear that Orlando is having a heat wave, and the crowds so far in May have been the largest ever. Oh well, its still DISNEYWORLD!

Ready

2009-05-07T19:23:00.004-04:00

Yup, I'm ready for our vacation. Today was a really crappy day. It started off with a call from the car rental company, we'll call them ENTERPRISE because I do not feel the need to protect them in the least. I returned the rental car yesterday that I had been driving for 10 days while the van was having the ice storm from hell damage of 5 months ago fixed. They "claim" that when they picked it up that there were scratches all over the bumper. Well that is BULL because when I left it I didn't see any scratches. This means that either (a) someone hit me and I never noticed it, or (b) it happened after I dropped it off at the body shop and before they got there to pick it up. Either way, they assure me that it is my responsibility. Grrrr. I was stressed all day, but after 6 calls to my insurance company I guess I just have to let it go. It will be investigated, there are adjustor's and agents on the case, and it is out of my hands. But my day only got better. Tonight when I went to take the Cheesy Chicken and Rice casserole out of the oven it slipped and flipped over, dumping out inside the oven, smoking and burning. Jack was at the table doing his homework and you would have thought it was him burning in the oven. "Nooooooooo" he yelled. "Not the cheesy chicken and rice!" Can you tell that my son likes to eat? Abbey was in the den and came running in after hearing the screams. "Oh no, what are we going to eat for dinner?" Panic Panic Panic. Please, settle down kids. Just don't mind me as I scrape a bit of this chicken up off the oven door, and oh yes, there is plenty of rice left in the dish for your dinner. Yup, good as new. They actually ate it with vigor and told me it was the best cheesy chicken and rice yet. Then off to the baseball field we headed for Jack's practice. The rain held out until we pulled into the parking lot. By then I knew practice would be cancelled, but it was too late to wrangle the kids back into the car, they had already sprinted into the playground where they proceeded to get drenched in their decidedly un-waterproof but still adorable Lands End windbreakers. Hmmm, I guess the name should have tipped me off that they are not for rain but are for, what else, duh, wind.

Oh, when we got home I did clean out the oven. I picked out all the bits of rice and chicken, and I then proceeded to spray it all over the inside with my Easy Off Oven Cleaner, noticing when I was done that I had mistakenly used the Easy Off Window cleaner. I then had to clean that out, and re-spray it with the oven cleaner. After that I just shut the oven door, I'll deal with it tomorrow. Either way, I'm not using that damn oven until we get back from Disney.

Underwear - Check!

2009-05-05T10:46:00.009-04:00

Mommying, working, baseball, taekwondo, gymnastics, laundry, cooking, cleaning, dog-care, mommying (I know I mentioned it already but it takes up a lot of time) and packing. Phew, no wonder I haven't posted. Our house has been busy, but a good busy. Everyone seems healthy at the moment and I just knock on all the wood around me that it stays that way because we leave for our vacation on Saturday. Yes, after months of planning and counting down the days, we head off to Disneyworld just a mere few days away. Who would have thought that there would be a weird nationwide flu outbreak looming over our heads, but I'm just not thinking about that. I booked this trip back in October, so the wait has seemed quite

L - O - N - G!

Now it is zooming towards us and we are all so excited. As for me, I can't wait to NOT cook for a week. NOT clean for a week (Mousekeeping, you know I love ya!) and just hang out with Dennis and the kids without having to be running in different directions. Sure, we will be running towards Splash Mountain, or Peter Pan's Flight (my personal favorite) but we will be running TOGETHER. There will be no escape from each other for 7 days (uh-oh, seeing it written down makes me nervous).

We have to get to Saturday though, which involves a long week of work and school. I have clothes and miscellaneous items all over the dining room table, which is where I pack. I pack on the dining room table because my mother always did (and still does). No other reason. When I was growing up when we went away she always laid our clothes out and organized everything on the table, so I do too. Packing also lets me use my favorite skill, list making. I make lists of things to pack, things to buys, even what to pack for who. As I put things into bags I check them off, and for anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to check things off of lists. Oh lists . . . . how I love to make lists . . . .

Tweet Tweet

2009-04-29T17:39:00.004-04:00

Do you Twitter? Do you Tweet? Do you know what I'm talking about? I really don't. Lately all I see EVERYWHERE is stuff about Twitter.

"Catch me on Twitter"

"Woman saved from suicide by Demi Moore on Twitter"

"Madonna has swine flu, according to Twitter"

"Find us here, on Twitter"

I mean, I blog. I feel pretty cool just doing that, but do I now have to supplement my blogging with twittering? These words are just crazy. I do like that word "twitter" better than "blog." "Blog" sounds like a weird animal that lives in a muddy swamp, while "twitter" sounds like a fun and light bird type action that makes you happy. I have to admit I am completely clueless about this whole thing. I'm not really that surprised, considering it took me about a year to catch up with the rest of the world regarding the whole Facebook thing. But this Twitter intrigues me. Is this something you do on the computer? I get the feeling it is something that is done from a cell phone, but am quite certain my phone does not have any "twittering" applications. Or does it?

As a side note, I just spell checked this post and the words "twitter" and "blog" were NOT considered misspellings, leading me to think that they are so popular that they have been accepted into the land of computer dictionaries. Facebook on the other hand was totally flagged, as was "intrigues," although that is just because that is a hard word to spell and I spelled it wrong.

How Many?

2009-04-28T19:37:00.005-04:00

How many children do you think I have? According to these pictures, I must have at least 4 or 5, right? Well no, I have 2. 2! My question is, if I only have 2 children, why in the hell do we have so many shoes? So many bikes, scooters, etc.? Why? Why? Why do we have so much crap?

Cats Cats Cats

2009-04-25T19:33:00.015-04:00

Where the hell have you been? is what you are probably asking me, right? 4 days with no post! Then again, probably no one really noticed that 4 days have gone by with no post. So, what's been going on? Actually, not much has been going on and a lot has been going on, if that makes any sense. Remember my post here about getting a cat, well that damn cat kept me busy. It wasn't her fault really, but she was not accustomed to living with a giant dog, and the dog was not, shall we say, thrilled to be living with a little cat, so obvious mayhem ensued. Not fun Three Stooges mayhem, just general work for me. I spent most of the last 2 weeks trying to either keep them apart or get them to know each other in an effort to lessen the torture of trying to keep them apart. After the cat was apparently "blocked" from the use of her litter box in the middle of the night by the dog she peed on Abbey's bed, twice. Luckily Abbey was spending the night on the bottom bunk in Jack's room. After that I had to make sure the cat was either shut into my bedroom (with litter box & food) or at night shut into the bathroom (with litter box and food) while she meowed her little head off. It really wasn't fair to her, or to me. I'm totally tired. So today she went to my parents house to live. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed tight that she will bond bond bond with my nanny, keep her company and become a light in her life, so much so that my parents never want to give her back. Let's hope for that, shall we.

In other news, it was school vacation week. We didn't do too much. I did hear something random about it being "turn off the t.v. week" as well, but I just scoffed at such a thing. I wouldn't want to mess with the children's recent ironic addiction to the movie The Aristocats. I hadn't made many plans since I wasn't sure how Jack would be feeling after getting his adenoids out last Friday. I did manage to pull together a little birthday party for him yesterday with some of his friends. He invited 4 boys over for an afternoon of pizza, cupcakes and gun play. Yes, boys do like guns. I mean, they really really really like them. Politically incorrect? Probably. But they are 7 year old boys, after all. They ran around like wild animals pretending to shoot each other outside for hours. They brought each other to "jail" which consisted of a tree in the backyard. They raced on bikes down our little hill (I did make them put on helmets for that part). They gobbled food while simultaneously talking about each other's farts and boogers. They guffawed and they snorted. It was a blast for all (except maybe for Abbey, but luckily for her she had a friend over as well to lessen the sheer boy-ness of the day). Also, it was the easiest party I've ever hosted in my life. No planned activities. No games. No piniata. Just them playing together. Note to self on future birthday parties, less really IS more.

My Firstborn is 7!

2009-04-21T20:52:00.006-04:00

Jack turned 7 today. I can't believe it. I can't believe it has been 7 years and 3 weeks since I was put on bed rest. Ahhhh, bed rest. So nice. It was most likely the last time I actually got any rest at all. I remember I was so excited to become a mother, it was something I felt like I was born to do. Unlike calculus or say, baking cakes.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Like Yellowed Paper

2009-04-20T20:57:00.004-04:00

At work today I had a bit of a revelation. I am getting old. I know that I am not young young, belly button ring wearing party all night downloading music girl, but I still don't picture myself as that old. Right? I mean, I'm only 34 which is not even remotely close to that big one of 4-0. But today as I was updating our many many law books I was faced with the undeniable fact that I am getting really old. When a new law is made, or amended, or if an old man in Washington decides we need to add a ; somewhere, new pages are printed up and sent out. It is my all important job to pull out the old pages and replace them with brand new ones. I know, you are in awe of me. Admit it. Anyway, today I was replacing pages like usual when I was able to replace some really old pages. They were wrinkled and yellow with age, you could just tell they had been in the book for ages and ages. I glanced at the top to see when they were published. 5-96. That's right, as in May 1996. I realized with a start that it was the exact month I graduated from college. When I graduated from college (which seems not that long ago to me really) these pages were white and crisp and brandy new. Now they are weathered and yellowed and . . . old. Just like me.

I Want More Mashed Potatoes!

2009-04-18T20:44:00.007-04:00

Jack had his adenoids out yesterday and I'll admit, I was a little freaked about the whole "going under anesthesia" part. It's hard when your kids have anything medical done to them and gives you that pitty feeling in your stomach. I was able to be in the operating room with him while they gave him the special happy gas (Dennis stayed home with Abbey), and once he was out I was off to the waiting room. It felt like a while, but in reality it was over in 15 minutes. It was such a relief when the doctor came out to tell me that everything went great and he was fine. About 20 minutes later a nurse came in to tell me that he was starting to wake up and that I could come in. He was groggy and out of it, but he kept giving me and the nurses the thumbs up sign. He really was being a little trooper and I was so proud of him. They wheeled him into this little curtained off room where he could watch a movie, but he just wanted to sleep. We had to stay for about 2 1/2 hours so they could monitor him, and then we were sent home. Just like that. By noon we were home and he was doing great. Really great, like much greater than they had said he would. I was told he would be sleepy all day, that was untrue. I was told to try to get him to have at least 5 ounces of liquid every hour to stay hydrated, but he was drinking juice like a fish. They said he could have soft foods after about 12 hours, but the second we returned home he wanted to eat the spaghettios that Abbey was having for lunch. He said he was starving. So he ate those. Then he ate some mashed potatoes. Then he had some ice cream. And Popsicles. He is supposed to be resting but he seems fine. He is YELLING for me to bring him more mashed potatoes constantly so his throat can't be that sore. I stopped giving him the Tylenol with codeine after the first dose because he says his throat feels OK. He is actually being quite demanding, lounging around on the couch yelling for mashed potatoes and Popsicles, hogging the remote. I know he just had surgery, but geez, I've seen worse recuperation from a hangnail. I think one more day of "resting" oughta do it, then he's off that damn couch.

Warning: House of Germs

2009-04-15T17:57:00.005-04:00

Jack had the stomach bug. Now I have the stomach bug. My only hope is that the buck stops here as they say and Dennis and Abbey don't get it. Oh, I also hope that it causes me to lose 5 pounds like Jack did, but I won't hold my breath on that one. This bug has been a real bitch, in the way that Jack felt better, then worse, then better, then worse again. It came and went, so just when I thought he had kicked it, it was back. Sneaky little virus. Because of this we still went about some of our weekend plans. Easter egg hunt, having the ENTIRE family over for ham and assorted fattening casseroles. Unfortunately the next day I came down with the bug, proving once and for all that he was contagious the entire time I was forcing him and his germs onto unsuspecting relatives. I got news that my cousin's 5 year old son started throwing up this morning. So yup, we're that family. The germ giving family.

So to all of my family and everyone at the town egg hunt, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry if you were infected. If it makes you feel any better, I've been puking for 3 days now. On and off of course, because you know, it's the "Come and Go" virus.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T08:49:00.005-04:00

Last night I started off the Easter celebration by attending the Vigil mass at church with my mom and aunt. It is really a nice service (even though it was over 2 hours long!) with all the candles and the darkness and the singing. I could do without the many, many, many, many readings though. I am always reminded of the year when Dennis and I went with the family and Dennis secretly kept putting spit on his candle before the service started. When it came time to light it, my mother leaned over in the spirit of Christianity and love to share her flame, and Dennis' candle just spit and sizzled and smoked, it wouldn't light. I can still see the look on my mothers face. I could almost read her mind. "He is an evil spawn, I knew it." Ha ha ha, priceless. That was back when we were just dating and Dennis used to go to church with me. He doesn't go anymore, now that we're married. Sinner.

Happy Easter

Surprise Surprise

2009-04-10T18:35:00.005-04:00

I'm so happy to share with you all that after almost 10 years of marriage my husband can still surprise me. First there was that extremely surprising (and expensive) Christmas gift of a trip to St. Thomas. Last night, it was a cat. Without even asking me. I tried to lock the door before he got to it carrying the cat carrier but he was too quick for me. The kids are thrilled of course, especially since they have been asking for a cat for ages. "Mommy when Max dies can we get a cat, please please please please." I clearly stated for all to hear (including my husband) that after the dog was gone we could think about getting a cat. Think about it. Just think. I am not a big cat person and I am certainly not a "multiple pets" person. I'm not sure why I don't like cats that much, but lets share some examples to try to find out, shall we?

When I was a little girl my Aunt got me and my brother a cat once as a gift. I'm not entirely sure she actually cleared this with my parents first, which is weird and kind of strange. Anyway, from my memory we had this cat for about 2 weeks before it mysteriously "ran away." My parents told me not to worry though because my grandmother saw it over in her neighborhood getting picked up by the animal rescue league where it would find a good home. I also remember hearing snippets of conversations in which my mother was not too happy about my aunt giving us a "slutty cat with a sexually transmitted disease that they had to put down." Yup. Slutty cat definitely did not end up in a good home. I'm not even sure they put it down properly. I have suspicions that my dad put it in a bag and threw it into the river. But that could just be my memory playing tricks on me.

Another memory I have is that once after a huge rainstorm I found a teeny tiny kitten that had been washed down into the sewer and was stuck there. My father? Or a neighbor? Or a stranger I don't even know wandering my streets? freed the poor little thing from certain death and I got to play with it for about 2 hours before my parents "returned" it to it's real home. Suspicious.

When we were teenagers Dennis gave me another cat for Valentines Day. A beautiful little white one. I'm not sure why because I had never given him any indication that I desired a cat, or even liked cats at all. I'm pretty sure he didn't clear this with my parents either. So he gives me this cat that spent the first 2 days under my bed, only to finally emerge and sit on top of my head, purring and licking my hair. It drove me CRAZY. I used to lock it out of my room at night only to hear my brother yell from his room "get this cat off my head!" After approximately 5 months the cat was chased into a corner under the porch by 2 neighborhood dogs and mauled to death.

So you see. I'm not a cat person. I don't even have good luck with them. And we have this dog you see. He's big and old and does not like cats in the least. Perhaps he is too deaf and his eyesight is too poor that he won't notice the cat? I have to admit, it's been an easy pet so far. Dennis opened the door to the carrier, I saw a streak of gray and the thing hasn't come out from under my bed. It did emerge sometime last night to use the litter box I put right next to the bed. But no other contact with us at all. Tonight it will probably come out and start licking my hair.

Go and See

2009-04-09T19:22:00.004-04:00

Tonight Jack's cub scout den had their "go and see" activity. It's one of the requirements for moving on from a Tiger Cub into a Wolf Cub. His den got to go to a newspaper office to see how a paper was put together. From the time he got off of the bus though he said he wasn't feeling well. His stomach hurt and he just wanted to lay on the couch. I kind of chalked it up to carsickness. Apparently today on the bus they got to "switch" with the big kids and sit in the back of the bus while the older kids sat in the front. Jack said it was super bumpy and gave him a stomachache. He is totally prone to carsickness so I figured that was it. He said he still really wanted to go to the newspaper office though, so off we went. He was OK until we got there and he stepped out of the van and proceeded to throw up all over the sidewalk (and a little on my feet). But then he said he felt GREAT and still please please while crying all over the place couldn't we go in? Even though I knew it was a bad idea and at this point was thinking it really maybe was not carsickness I relented and in we went. Don't you hate that? That feeling with your kids that even as you are doing something that you just know you have made the wrong decision. You just keep moving ahead with the wrong decision with that knot in your gut telling you that you have made a mistake. It didn't help that this newspaper office was in a super old building that smelled like old papers and printing chemicals. As we walked up the 4,030 steps into the top of the building Jack just kept kept paler and paler. I was holding onto his jacket and had it at the ready, poised to catch throw up in it. I just kept thinking to myself "please don't throw up on the equipment. Please don't throw up on the old archived newspapers from 1914." And then there was the nagging suspicion that if this wasn't carsickness that we were at that very moment infecting 6 other little boys with some throwupy virus right before Easter weekend. After about 10 minutes which felt like 400 Jack conceded that he really didn't feel well and wanted to go home. We were down those 4,030 steps in a flash and out of there. Now he is laying on the couch with a bucket, sipping flat coke and watching television. I am thinking no school tomorrow.

On the up side, unlike my previous post, he is acting like a complete angel. A sick angel, but an angel nonetheless.

Tired and Cranky

2009-04-07T20:06:00.005-04:00

Do you ever just dislike your children? Or one child in particular? Today Jack has really been pushing my buttons and annoying me. As soon as he got off the bus it started. He didn't want to bring the trash barrel down the driveway (which is like his only damn chore and he does it every week), whine whine whine. He didn't want to stop playing with the Star Wars people strewn all over the den to get ready for taekwondo. Whine whine whine. Then we get to taekwondo and he is obnoxious there. Not listening. Picking his nose INCESSANTLY. Why? Why must you pick Jack? It's disgusting and embarrassing and downright gross. So stop it please. Of course, I am watching from the sidelines while he just picks away and am trying to will him with my mind power to make him stop, which never works. The only saving grace was that his teacher, an extremely tough guy who is referred to as "sir" was out today, having a colonoscopy. His daughter who is equally tough and I believe on her way to the Olympics for taekwondo or something was filling in and really didn't garnish the respect usually reserved for sir himself. When we got home the whining just continued. "I'm hungry, I want cheezits" and then I had to call him 4 times to come to the table for dinner which was also annoying because he was so damn starving 20 minutes earlier, and now he's not listening to me. After dinner it was homework time and that was a nightmare as well and like pulling teeth. But Abbey was a sweetheart today of course. I've noticed that when Jack is being especially obnoxious Abbey takes that opportunity to be extra sweet. Saying "please" and "thank you." "This is a very good supper mommy" "thank you for putting my Barbie's dress on" "I love you mommy." I'm sure tomorrow she will be a pain and Jack will be angelic. Well . . . maybe not tomorrow. . . since he hasn't exactly been angelic since he was at least 4. But maybe sometime soon. But now it's bedtime and I've had enough. I am just ready for them to go to sleep and then I am just going to bed. I'm cranky and tired and annoyed. Goodnight.

Bad Driver Award

2009-04-06T10:02:00.004-04:00

We had a nice weekend. Besides the usual yard work and laundry we took the kids to see Monsters vs. Aliens and out for pizza Saturday night. The movie was OK. I would give it a solid 6 on a scale of 1 - 10. Jack liked it, Abbey actually fell asleep and so did Dennis. Nice. I just kept looking over at them snoozing and thinking, "hello, we paid $10 for you two, WAKE UP!" I think it may be better in 3D, but our theatre only offered it in 2D. I found the "2D" description ridiculous. 2D is just regular viewing. Why say anything at all. Or maybe put "NOT in 3D" instead of making you think you were going to get a new cinematic experience seeing a movie in "2D". Sunday my mother took both the kids to see Disney on Ice which they loved, and I loved having a morning child-free to work around the yard. We still have quite a bit of cleanup from the ice storm from Hell and we are hosting Easter in a week so I'd like to yard to be somewhat tidy. My dad came out and put the handles onto my cabinets. Go dad! Then Jack had his very first baseball practice. So it was a busy weekend, not exactly relaxing in any sense but are any weekends relaxing when you have kids?

So all is well and Monday morning hits and what do I go and do? Something totally stupid. Jack was being slow as usual and the bus drove by. I told him I would just drive him (I go right by the school on the way to work anyway) but he insisted he wanted to ride the bus. "We can catch it mommy, come on, hurry" so out we ran and jumped into the van. The windows were a little big fogged over but whatever, we had to go. I threw it in reverse and heard the horrible screeching scraping sound of car against car. I had completely scraped the side of Dennis' Subaru with the van. The same Subaru that recently spent 1 MONTH in the shop getting repaired from ice storm damage. The same Subaru that had a shiny and new paint job. Yes, that Subaru. Not so shiny and new anymore. I pulled this exact same thing years ago. I was 16 and newly licensed and jumped into the car, threw it in reverse and completely scraped up the side of our friends car. To protect their privacy, lets call them, the family that lives in a House on the Hill. That time I didn't even realize what I had done. I actually thought I had scraped against the bushes on the side of the driveway. Oh well, I guess I'm not going to win any good driver awards this month.

Jello With A Side Of Boogers

2009-04-02T10:12:00.006-04:00

Last night after dinner Abbey walked by Jack holding a container of jello. Her dessert. He promptly picked his nose (he claims he only "pretended") and wiped it onto her jello. Much crying and screaming ensued, ending with a brand new jello and the contaminated one in the trash. I wanted to get mad at him, I mean jello doesn't grow on trees, but it was just such a brotherly thing to do. I mean, how much more stereotypical brother antagonizing his sister behavior can there be than booger wiping? I must admit that there is the usual amount of "he hit me" "she grabbed me" "he bumped into me on purpose" and just as much "it wasn't me!" "no I didn't" and "she's lying" going on in our house, but there is also a wonderful bond that I see growing between them. They are each other's most constant companion, playmate and Saturday morning cartoon watching partner. I love that with a 2 1/2 year age difference that there is fighting, but that they are also able to play together, especially now that Abbey is older. They can play real games now, and I appreciate the burden it takes off of me to be the constant entertainer. True, it's a trade off, as I have turned into the constant referee instead, but it's worth it. They may fight, but in the end I know that they have each other's backs. Even last night after the booger wiping incident, while laying in bed reading a "Jack and Annie" book ("Jack and Abbey" in our house) there was a picture of Annie in a prairie dress. "What a pretty dress" Abbey exclaimed. Jack answered her "it is pretty, but your dresses are prettier and you look really pretty in them." Now isn't that nice?

The Quiet Days Of Yesteryear

2009-03-31T12:35:00.004-04:00

Before Jack was in school full time the days seemed to drag by interminably. Each day was like the day before. It didn't matter if it was a Tuesday or a Saturday, the day was filled with the same old, same old. Now I look back on those years and wonder if I appreciated them enough. We used to go on fun field trips in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day. Everyone else was at school and we had zoos, parks, libraries, museums, all to ourselves. It completely spoiled me. Now when we join the masses on the weekends or school vacations to go somewhere I am constantly reminded of the way things used to be. Even though Abbey is not in school full time yet, it never seems like we get away during the week to do anything fun. She has gymnastics, we have to go to the grocery store, 3 zillion loads of laundry have to be washed. And there is always that get Jack off the bus 3 pm deadline hanging over my head, making me feel anxious and stressed. Now we have Taekwondo added to the mix, baseball starts up this week, scouting ends. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind bringing the kids to activities that I know they enjoy. I like having a schedule to keep me sane and busy. I just wonder, did I enjoy those former years enough? As the saying goes, did I stop to smell the roses? I'm not sure I did. But I am fondly looking back on them now, and just wishing for one random Tuesday where we can head off to a small children's museum an hour away to just hang out and play. Just play. With nothing to rush home for.

Me, Bad Blogger

2009-03-29T20:49:00.005-04:00

Wow, I have been a pitiful blogger lately. Days have gone by with nothing new to share. Sad really. And I still don't have anything to share, but I didn't want to wait another day before posting something. I will share with you that although my house seemed quite GIANT after moving back into it from the trailer, it is now shrinking ever so slightly again with all our our stuff. I place most of the blame on shoes and chargers. I swear, a few short years ago we had NO chargers at all. Now we have a whole drawer full. Camera battery charger. 2 cell phone chargers. Blackberry charger. Game boy charger. Chargers chargers chargers. And the shoes. Don't get me started. We are not even "shoe" people (OK, maybe Abbey is. No, I know she is). Boots, slip on shoes, sneakers. Dennis' boots alone take up the entire "boot" mat. I'm tripping over them and feel like I am always picking up someones shoes. Suzy came over on Friday to see the house in all its new glory, and informed me that I am still holding onto too much shit. Can I say shit here? Well, I am. We have a lot of shit. Sorry. She made me throw out even more glasses, and even forced me to chuck this handy item.
What? You don't know what this is? Why it's a spinning condiment dispenser of course. Don't we all need one of these? For those summer days when you have lots of people over for hot dogs and hamburgers you just pull out your handy dandy spinning condiment dispenser and viola! Mustard, ketchup, relish. Just spin and there you go. What are you saying? That I had this in my cupboard for YEARS (and yes people, actually moved this item from our first house 6 years ago to here) taking up a huge amount of space and I am pretty sure I never actually used it. But I thought I might . . . . one day. I might have. Maybe. You know, for that really big cookout I always thought I would have.

Dental Anxiety

2009-03-25T11:59:00.007-04:00

The kids had a dentist appointment yesterday. Just a cleaning, but I was a complete nervous nelly inside. For the past two weeks I have been anxiously watching their appointment loom closer and closer. Once we got there and they were both sitting in their respective chairs with their respective hygienists I casually asked, "Oh, is Dr. Dentistman not in today?" Obviously I have changed his name, although if that was your last name you would SO have to be a dentist when you grew up, right? When I heard he was out I heaved a sigh of relief. I realized that I wasn't nervous about the kids being uncomfortable or not cooperative at their appointment, but having to talk to the dentist about their teeth. This is the same dentist that I have been going to since I was 5. Dennis has been going to him since he was 5. My entire family. He's not a mean man or anything, although my father would complete disagree and dislikes him with a passion. (So much so that he took his and my mothers dental records from the last 25 years and got the hell out of there.) Its more that he is a dental snob. It seems as if he likes to work on teeth that are well, perfect. If you have bad teeth or multiple problems, then you kind of get the impression that you have somehow committed a mortal sin. When it comes to the kids he just makes me feel . . . . inadequate somehow. Like I don't give their oral health nearly the attention it rightly deserves.

"Who has been flossing these children's teeth?" he asked me last time.

"Ummm, that would be me." Sure, its true that sometimes the whole flossing thing falls by the wayside. I mean, as mothers we have so many millions of things to take care of, the daily flossing/fluoride rinsing routine many times gets pushed to the back burner. To be honest I pretty much let them floss and brush their own teeth. I supervise, kind of. Most of the time. OK, sometimes not at all. OK, and sometimes they don't floss. Or forget the rinse. Or its late and I'm tired and they're whining and I don't even make them brush. You caught me. It's true! There have been whole weekends gone by when I don't think they've picked up a brush. There at the dental office I sometimes want to scream at him "don't I have enough to feel guilty about, do you have to add the threat of impending cavities due to lack of flossing to my list!"

But Jack and Abbey thus far have great teeth. No cavities. So get off my back Dr. Dentistman. And even if they didn't, even if their teeth were filled with cavities, it still wouldn't make me a bad mother, dammit!

The only real reason we still go there is because of the dental hygienists. The women who do the actual cleaning of your teeth. The two that work on their teeth are so great and wonderful and fabulous with them that my kids actually look forward to going to the dentist, which is just insane. Who likes to go to the dentist? Since they haven't had any cavities or needed any work done, the only time they see the actual dentist is when he pops in at the end of their cleanings to say hello, commiserate with the hygienist, and to show me how I should be properly flossing their teeth, because obviously I'm doing it wrong.

The Invisible Mother

2009-03-23T09:04:00.003-04:00

You may have read this before, but it was just sent to me again and I thought it was perfect timing and wanted to share. How often do you feel invisible?

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask me a question. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, What time is it? I'm a satellite guide to answer, What number is the Disney Channel? I'm a car to order, Right around 5:30, please.

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees. In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "you're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Once Upon A Time

2009-03-19T10:43:00.009-04:00

Jack and Abbey love to read books before bed, and although I won't lie to you all and claim to read to them every single night at bedtime, we do it most of the time. They each usually get to pick out one book, or one story, or lately 2 chapters of one of Jack's "now he's growing up and reading chapter books" books. Some nights Jack will even read to Abbey himself, letting me off the hook so to speak. One of their favorite books is this collection of Fairy Tales by Usborne Books (fabulous books by the way). It has 6 stories in it, and they can usually choose 1. Last night they chose Rumpelstiltskin. I have to tell you, I am starting to not be able to stand these stories, and they are getting harder and harder to read with a straight face. I had to wonder aloud why in the hell Rumpelstiltskin would trade his gold spinning abilities with the poor millers daughter for her measly necklace? I mean, if you can spin straw into gold, wouldn't you just buy your own necklace? Next he takes her ring, and then wants her first born baby. I can see wanting a baby, maybe. But if you have so much money from all that gold that was formerly straw, you would be able to buy pretty much anything, and I'm sure in this poor village that would include a baby. And this girl? First the King locks her into rooms with piles of straw, telling her "spin it into gold by morning or you'll die!" Die. Actually he will kill her. Then when she does it (supposedly) he decides to marry her. And she DOES! Would you really marry someone who threatened your life? She's a fool.

A lot of the time I just simply change parts of stories that I don't like. So many of these old fairy tales have such odd messages. Goldilocks commits breaking and entering in the 3 bears house, and comes off like a tormented little angel. Jack steals from the giant and then kills him by cutting down the beanstalk and he is a little hero living it up with riches. One of the only good ones is Hansel and Gretel. Two little kids get lost in the woods and go into a strangers house for "safety". Hello? So unsafe. Of course she ends up being evil and wanting to eat them. A good lesson about not talking to strangers, no matter how much they look like a nice old lady. Then there's the three little pigs, whose mother decides that they are what? Too big? Too old to live with her anymore? She proceeds to just kick them out to the street to make their own way while this wolf stalks them the whole time. When I read this particular story I always make the first 2 pigs boy pigs, and the third a girl. The first two, the boys, foolishly make their houses shoddily out of dumb sticks and straw. As if those materials are going to keep the wolf out. Then the very smart and clever girl sister pig makes her house sturdy and strong out of bricks and saves the day by letting her brothers hide out in there with her. Then she boils a pot of water and burns that wolf up. Hero pig girl!

Of course, these little changes of mine are getting harder and harder to pull off. Now that Jack can read.

Home

2009-03-17T12:07:00.005-04:00

On December 12th I threw some clothes and belongings for the four of us into random bags, not quite sure where we were going, or how long we would be gone. It was a strange packing experience. We had to go to my company Christmas party that night, so I had to find Dennis a tie, a dress shirt, his jacket. I remember shivering in the cold bedroom, looking for something that I could wear that fit me and would work for a party. In the end I didn't even care, but grabbed whatever and turned my attention to packing stuff for the kids. The house had that odd quiet quality it gets when there is no electric current running through it. Its true that even when you have everything turned off at your house, you can still "hear" the electricity. All you could hear outside was the buzzing sound of chainsaws, my husbands included, as he tried to clear us a path out of the driveway so that we could make our escape. It was surreal driving out of our driveway, in the minivan with the dented hood and the cracked windshield, all of the trees bent and broken, everything in our world covered in ice. I remember I kept saying to Jack and Abbey, "look around you, look at that, look at this. You've never seen anything like this." It was amazing, and I knew they may never (lets hope) see a storm like that again in their lifetimes.

I never could have imagined on that freezing cold Friday back in December that it would be 3 months before I slept in my bed. That we would sleep at my cousins house, my great-aunts, and spend 3 weeks at my parents, sleeping on blow-up beds and couches, displacing everyone there. I never imagined that we would actually have to live in a big trailer in the yard. But we did. We were gone for 3 months and 3 days to be exact. 3 months and 3 days before I would give my kids a bath in our tub. 3 months and 3 days before I would do laundry in my own house. 3 months and 3 days before I would run my dishwasher, cook a meal in my oven, grab some water from the door of the fridge. 3 months and 3 days before I would plop down on the couch after tucking the kids into bed in their snug rooms. 3 months and 3 days before we would be . . . Home. I never could have foreseen the damage that the Ice Storm was going to bestow on us, on so many people. Even though our house is at last fixed and put back together (better than before I might add), the yard is still a mess. Trees, branches, our broken dead animatronic Christmas deer still under a bit of snow and trees. There will be cleanup for weeks and weeks. The trees may never look the same, every time you look up you are reminded of that December day of last year when mother nature kicked our asses.

But it's all over now. We are home. Home. I tell ya, it is a mighty nice place to be.